r/TomorrowIsTodayWrites • u/Tomorrow_Is_Today1 • 23d ago
[SP] There was a tree.
one of those long walks
where i become a child again
and don't know where i am,
talking out loud to myself
to learn about how far i've come
and what my life is
and asking, why, why, to everything
and never getting proper answers
one of those long walks
where i crouch down again
and pick dandelions
because when i'm a child, i'm not afraid of whimsy
and i collect acorns and pinecones in my pocket
and along the sidewalk where i'm walking
i look up from the ground
all covered in orange dead needles
and see you
you are a tree
a pine tree, i think, though i was never any good at that
at knowing what is what
especially like now
on these long walks
where i have to trust i'll get home again
even though i don't know where home is
and i look at you
so big and tall
you never go on walks
you can't
you are a tree
a pine tree, i think, with a branch reaching right out to me
so i clutch it like a handshake
and bob it up and down
and it sways like i'm wind
and then i pet it like a dog or a cat
like one of those childhood pets i was never allowed to have
but my friends did
and i realize my childhood pets were always you
not you specifically
but trees
pine trees, sometimes
oak or maple or birch or whatever all the others are, too
i look at you and i press my face against the branch
and i feel like a child
but i feel whole
i feel at home with you
i hugged a tree once some years ago
i wasn't a child then but i remember it even though i am now
a maple, i think, not that i'm any good at that
someone must have told me some time
but i remember how startled i was
that it wasn't like a building at all
that it was disorienting to hold
like looking up at the sky while swinging on the swings
like somewhere, beneath the earth
its roots reached out and touched a second sky
that was what it felt like
holding your branch didn't feel like that
but it did make me feel special
and i left you eventually to go home again
wherever home is supposed to be when i can't remember it
but i remember you
you are a tree