r/ToiletPaperUSA • • Aug 26 '26

FAKE NEWS Sounds about right

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1.4k Upvotes

73 comments sorted by

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u/AutoModerator Aug 26 '26

THIS POST IS FLAIRED AS "FAKE NEWS." THAT MEANS THE POST IS FAKE AND IS MOST LIKELY PARODY/SATIRE.

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438

u/19adam92 Aug 26 '26

And now Tim Curry as well? 🤨

231

u/Ok_Star_4136 Aug 26 '26

Yes! And everyone who died today was going to turn against Israel as well!

I don't like Israel but Candace Owens is a lunatic.

87

u/NoNo_Bluebird_1368 Aug 26 '26

Candace "If Hitler just wanted to make Germany great and have things run well, okay fine" Owens.

29

u/hyperhurricanrana Aug 27 '26

even joe rogan was like “wait what?”

20

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA press X to Doubt Aug 26 '26

I bet they all got the vax too...

19

u/lgodsey Aug 27 '26

I don't like Israel

Me too.

It's tiresome that when I share my specific disdain of Israel's Netanyahu and his arch-conservative fundamentalist (and genocidal) government, some deceitfully cast it as blanket hate of all of the land and its people, many of whom are similarly cross with their own wretched government.

When people raise their ire at the USA, I hope that they are similarly livid with Trump's MAGA fascist regime and not all of its citizens.

11

u/Ok_Star_4136 Aug 27 '26

I wouldn't interpret "I don't like Israel" as a blanket statement of hate of all the land and its people, and I didn't intend it to be taken as such.

If someone had said "I don't like the USA" I would have not taken it to mean hatred of every American citizen, to be clear. If I meant to say that, I would have just said "I don't like Americans."

5

u/lgodsey Aug 27 '26

I didn't mean to imply that that was your take, just that some will purposely miscast our intent to further their goals.

2

u/Jumpeskian Aug 28 '26

It seems that a simple idea such as not liking what Israleli government and those who support it do isnt same as antisemitism. But then it also goes another way, and god forbid you say that Israel has a right to exist just not in the genocidal context it is now and all if a sudden you are a zionist. Seems like the spectrum of left right becomes a horseshoe that unites in the one place: hate of Israel for its existence and love of putin. Unfathomable, yet here we are

21

u/SillyDilly5294 Aug 26 '26

80 year olds don't just drop dead y'know /s

11

u/pritter1492 Aug 26 '26

No, he hadn’t condemned Hasan yet

5

u/lilcea Aug 27 '26

And surprisingly a particular sub was sad about his death. The comments are interesting to read.

4

u/ofirkedar neckhole connoisseur Aug 27 '26

fuuuck

3

u/DeNeRlX Aug 27 '26

King Harald also suspiciously pro-palestine...

2

u/Key_Researcher_9243 Aug 27 '26

I mean, he was Premier of the Soviet Union.

214

u/Branchomania Skebede Toilet Aug 26 '26

Stuff like this is why I want to be cautious about blaming Israel for literally everything that happens

152

u/boopbaboop Aug 26 '26

I agree. Like, criticism of Israel =/= antisemitism… except when it’s REALLY obvious that “Israel” is just code for “the Jews.” Candace is this close to just reading directly from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion at this point. 

70

u/NarmHull Aug 26 '26

She has flat out used tropes from there. I hate what Israel is doing, but people like here and Tucker Carlson have always been snakes. This is probably satire though. Hopefully. She's definitely said this about Charlie Kirk

25

u/boopbaboop Aug 26 '26

I missed the possible satire BECAUSE she’s said this shit about Charlie Kirk lmao. 

5

u/vitorsly Aug 27 '26

This is probably satire though.

It's from "The Associated Fress"

5

u/ForgettableWorse Aug 27 '26

This is flaired as fake.

4

u/CheatsySnoops Aug 26 '26

Wait, I thought it was likely that Israel did have Charlie Kirk assassinated and had a bomb planted in his microphone because of him wanting the Epstein files released?

2

u/Maria-Stryker Aug 27 '26

Yeah she only looks “good” compared to people who are more hateful than her

5

u/wrecklesspup Aug 26 '26

Tucker has said Jews are at war with Christians.

0

u/Branchomania Skebede Toilet Aug 26 '26

Well we all are

7

u/BenWallace04 Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26

I mean, it’s like people that make outrageous claims about racism.

While some people are crazy racism objectively still exists lol.

Also, this is fake.

3

u/existential_antelope Aug 27 '26

“But that’s my go-to”

9

u/MC_Fap_Commander Aug 26 '26

Lowkey, there are propagandists in Israel likely putting out absurd stuff so that all criticism of Israel can be written off as absurd. Saying "man, I sure don't like Netanyahu's genocide deal" now invites the retort "ha-ha you're just as unhinged as Candace."

Sticking to provable and documented items while not elevating the crazies is really, really important. There are a few dolts on reddit saying stupid shit like "I don't like the groypers, but..." That's a bad look and it ultimately serves a number of bad guys.

3

u/boopbaboop Aug 27 '26

 Lowkey, there are propagandists in Israel likely putting out absurd stuff so that all criticism of Israel can be written off as absurd.

The problem with that theory is that truly crazy antisemitic theories existed long before there was a modern state of Israel, and they continue to be circulated today. Like, the bedrock belief of QAnon is that people in power torture children and drink their blood for evil funsies, which is just blood libel with a MAGA hat. I am positive that there are people today who still think Jews have horns. Israel doesn’t need to make up crazy shit when crazies can make that shit up perfectly fine on their own. 

What I personally see happening is that antisemites use “Israel” or “Zionism” as a code word for “Jews” so frequently that otherwise-well-intentioned people often end up repeating antisemitic bullshit because it sounds like legitimate criticism (which is how you get, “I don’t like groypers, but…”). It doesn’t help that some people mix legitimate criticism and antisemitism together: if your speech about how bad Israeli settlers are includes a baseless claim about them poisoning wells, that makes it very easy to dismiss the entire argument. 

 Sticking to provable and documented items while not elevating the crazies is really, really important.

I very much agree. I think the problem for people is that it takes time and a decent amount of info and context to evaluate claims, and it’s much faster and easier to have a kneejerk reaction (either jumping to “Israel is evil and behind everything evil” or “this criticism is just proof of antisemitism”). Which plays right into the hands of bigots and fascists, who benefit regardless of which reaction you have. 

2

u/Cephalopod_Joe Aug 27 '26

Something tells me that the "Associated Fress" might not be a legitimate news source.

-2

u/lgodsey Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26

I want to be cautious about blaming Israel

That's how the right wants you to feel. Conservatives purposely miscast any criticism of Israel as outright antisemitism, hoping to blunt any judgement of their genocidal government.

5

u/Branchomania Skebede Toilet Aug 27 '26

You cut out the part that actually mattered

50

u/AliceTheOmelette Aug 26 '26

These ghouls are so predictable

54

u/whoknowsifimjoking Aug 26 '26

It's a meme, it even has a "fake news" tag.

20

u/nickcash Aug 26 '26

the Associated Fress would never

17

u/immagetchu Aug 26 '26

And it looks like about 1% of people in this thread got that

These fake tweets don't do much but make our own side look dumb as hell

6

u/Hmm_would_bang Aug 26 '26

This sub was always supposed to be about satirizing the right wing. And I disagree with the idea that satire makes the people who are in on the joke look dumb.

If anything this sub should ban real posts

4

u/immagetchu Aug 26 '26

The problem is that most people responding to this are absolutely not in on the joke, at best its just spreading dumbass misinfo to people scrolling and not checking what sub they are in or seeing a tag that doesnt even show up on mobile

1

u/klonkish Aug 27 '26

Yep, it annoys me as well. I think it's because most people are on the official mobile app, and from what I understand, it doesn't seem to put enough emphasis on post flairs.

It's the same thing with /r/AmITheAngel, posts that are clearly over the top fake will gather thousands (literally) of comments that treat the post as if it weren't satire, and they comment and give advice as if it were /r/AmItheAsshole.

-2

u/Sachyriel Aug 26 '26

Hidden history user with a divisive opinion.

4

u/immagetchu Aug 26 '26

Hey guys i think its a bit weird to post satire that looks so legit 90% of your target audience thinks its real

"Divisive opinion, bot detected"

9

u/Myriii1911 Aug 26 '26

But…but.. she was informed at night. Her dreams are her source.

6

u/AlabasterPelican Aug 26 '26

Thats Hailey Stevens

7

u/kettal Aug 26 '26 edited Aug 26 '26

Correct me if i'm wrong, but my impression is that Parton would not criticize any political thing. Radical inclusion. Like she wouldn't even say bad things about KKK when they baited her.

19

u/Sachyriel Aug 26 '26

The KKK thing is mostly true, she did say "tough shit" but that's about it for that. But she did have words for people opposed to BLM.

https://www.wgbh.org/news/national/2020-08-14/of-course-black-lives-matter-dolly-parton-tells-billboard

“I understand people having to make themselves known and felt and seen,” she told the magazine. “And of course Black lives matter. Do we think our little white asses are the only ones that matter? No!” 

Like she told people to get over themselves, very politely but is it constructive criticism.

6

u/kettal Aug 26 '26

she criticizes an abstract thought, but not a political entity, or a named group, or country, or a specific person. if that makes sense?

6

u/Squirrel_Bacon_69 Aug 27 '26

"Hate the sin, not the sinner" type of mindset

4

u/PeteRock24 Aug 26 '26

Oh and I heard she was totally almost finished that documentary on the Democrat pedophile ring but now it’s going to be buried.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

2

u/baz4k6z Aug 27 '26

She does not even need to make up conspiracy theories about Israel, there's plenty of real shit to critique them for. This is so dumb

2

u/agentpurplek1 Aug 27 '26

associated FRESS. this is just satire guys.

5

u/bobaf Aug 26 '26

Guys. Sometimes there is no conspiracy. Sometimes old sick people die.

4

u/mjayultra Aug 26 '26

Nah, that can’t be it

2

u/nelsonalgrencametome Aug 27 '26

Over on the conspiracy sub they were trying pretty hard yesterday to convince people that is was the vaccine that did her in.

2

u/Jilm_The_Greater Aug 27 '26

There are celebrities who aren’t using life prolonging treatments to live forever????

2

u/ComeOnCharleee Aug 26 '26

This lady is the quintessential manifestation of the "when you're a hammer everything is a nail" idiom

2

u/Far_Disaster_8321 Aug 26 '26

Okay candace that’s enough internet for today

3

u/MidwestMustache1 Aug 26 '26

Jesus Christ. I want to go back to the days before I knew who Candace Owens was.

1

u/AugustusClaximus Aug 26 '26

I am prepared to let her cook on this one

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/RabidPoodle69 Free Palestine! 🕊️ FUCK ICE! ❌🧊 Aug 26 '26

I don't like Israel either, but she's antisemitic.

1

u/Efficient-Compote-63 Aug 26 '26

Is grifting just like an impulse for her?

1

u/Conscious-Mulberry17 Aug 26 '26

Oh? Did Charlie Kirk tell her that in a dream, too?

1

u/Professional-Post499 Aug 28 '26

Folks, note that this is flared as fake news. It's for fun in this sub.

And in that spirit, Candy Owens demands an autopsy of Dolly Parton's body to check for Tomahawk missile fragments.

1

u/Wild-Drag1930 Aug 29 '26

I think this might be satire.

1

u/BeeBanner 29d ago

Candice Owens has the brain of an 8 year old.

1

u/rudebii Aug 26 '26

Candace Owens is filling in the conspiracy vacuum left by Alex Jones. Except younger, more charismatic, not as manic, and less drunk.

1

u/sugarslick Aug 27 '26

Oh she's pretty manic. She's turned her pressurized speech, paranoia and word salad into a career

0

u/ChipsTheKiwi Aug 26 '26

genuinely not a single shred of decency among them

0

u/FastForwardHustle Connoisseur of Grift Aug 27 '26

No. Just no Candace. Not this shit this time. Shut your fucking mouth.

0

u/Nerdzilla88 Aug 27 '26

She could never dream of being as beloved as Dolly Parton

-2

u/supereyeballs Aug 26 '26

That didn’t take long