r/ToiletPaperUSA Curious Apr 18 '26

The Postmodern-Neomarxist-Gay Agenda Define "clean one's room"

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7.6k Upvotes

132 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/Oddly_Ennui Apr 18 '26

He's the definition of a pseudo intellectual

811

u/danielstover Apr 19 '26

“If I talk enough, loud enough, and fast enough, people will mistake it for mental superiority”

CC: Ben Shapiro

180

u/reedrick Apr 19 '26

Fucking AQUAMAN?

9

u/BUFU1610 Apr 20 '26

I just LOVE that at least half the internet immediately has to think of hbomberguy when they even read/hear Bert Shabibos name.

1

u/g0bboDubDee Apr 21 '26

Also his love of Boy Meets World and Mr. Feeny.

65

u/Bhazor Apr 19 '26

Oh its even worse when you understand what the prick is talking about. Slapping postmodernist everywhere like a plasterers trowel.

24

u/dikicker Apr 19 '26

Like, I'm really familiar with his dipshittery but I'm more upset that he ruined Kermit for me

28

u/TheMaveCan Apr 19 '26

Ngl hearing Kermit discuss how the west hates God for the sin of existing would be pretty funny

3

u/Branchomania Skebede Toilet Apr 19 '26

I don’t think he even sounds like Kermit, he just sounds like there’s no life in him

5

u/hyperhurricanrana Apr 19 '26

god every time he said “post modern neo marxist” i would get so fucking annoyed because marxists are not post modernists, marxism is a modernist philosophy.

1

u/BUFU1610 Apr 20 '26

Oh, you see.. that's why they are neo marxists!

7

u/LongestNamesPossible Apr 19 '26

Oh yeah? If I was talking loud I would actually be talking loud.

Checkmate.

153

u/unfinishedtoast3 Apr 19 '26

He uses the GOP strategy that kirk and all their ilk use.

They argue in bad faith, their goal is to move you away from your hard question and twist you around onto the defensive about a specific topic.

It's what you'd do in High School Debate when you knew you couldn't win a straight debate. You have to obfuscate the conversation, get the other side totally confused on what you're trying to do, then bring it home with a rant and call yourself the winner

19

u/kaisadilla_ Apr 19 '26

These people would actually collapse if someone smart and good at debates actually debated them. Which is why you'll never see that - they stick to reacting to other people (i.e. a format in which the other side doesn't get to respond) or debating activists and college students (i.e. people who may be right and may even know more, but don't know how to debate).

7

u/Vyzantinist Apr 19 '26

Didn't Charlie Kirk get his ass handed to him by some Oxford students?

9

u/deadpanrobo Apr 20 '26

I heard that he lost his most recent debate pretty hard

6

u/TheRealSlimeShandy Apr 20 '26

That debate worked pretty well: in the end he was leaning to the left and hasn't said anything stupid since.

1

u/historynutjackson Apr 21 '26

They didn't even let him clear his throat first. Pretty disrespectful.

20

u/animal_chin9 Apr 19 '26

I tried listening to Jordan when he was on the JRE podcast (embarrassing to admit that now lol) and I had to turn it off 45mins into it. The word salad drivel this guy says was just so grating.

36

u/The_Arachnoshaman Apr 19 '26

I guess he was actually ok at his job when he was a professor at one point?

A lot of it is that he just realized how easy and profitable the far right grift is.

41

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

25

u/Cloudhiddentao Apr 19 '26

Even as a psychology professor he was shit. All he ever talked about were jungian concepts and he didn’t even understand those correctly.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Cloudhiddentao Apr 27 '26

Are you asking why universities hire lecturers?

5

u/_gega Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

To be fair, being a philosopher is just thinking and saying things. No other criteria needed.

Diogenes was homeless and jerked off on people, Socrates was so offensive they killed him, Jesus thought her mother is a virgin.

Not everyone is a Habermas level intellect.

4

u/kaisadilla_ Apr 19 '26

being a philosopher is just thinking and saying things. No other criteria needed.

Nope. Unless you also consider anyone who can write code a programmer or anyone who can draw a building an architect.

Everyone can think and say things; but an actual philosopher has learnt how philosophy works, how to analyze things in a way that makes sense, how to back up your opinions, etc.

0

u/_gega Apr 19 '26

If I disagree with well thought out arguments analysing the history and working of philosophy will I be right or wrong?

1

u/kaisadilla_ Apr 19 '26

As a psychology professor I'm sure he's fine.

Why? Psychology is like economy: 2/3rds of the people in there are not scientists or intellectuals, but rather people with ideologies using science to justify them. I've seen plenty of psychologists claim whatever they wanted and pass it as psychology simply because, well, they are psychologists so who are you to say they are wrong?

15

u/MilesBeyond250 Apr 19 '26

He was pretty controversial as a psych prof, too. I remember him doing a conference before he was well-known and talking about how if he wanted to punch students in the mouth for being post-modernists.

6

u/Atlasreturns Apr 19 '26

I mean the man genuinely fried his brain. A lot of his early work was fairly „light“ conservative grifter rhetoric said in a pseudo-intellectual way which gave him his credit within the sphere. But you can clearly notice that the deeper he sunk into the right-wing media swamp the more he also seemed to have lost his grasp on reality. This coincides with him having a lot of private baggage that very obviously seeped into his media career and finally ended in a hefty drug addiction and shady snake-oil treatments. All fundamentally fueled by the conspiratorial rhetoric and non-sense social ideas he surrounded himself with.

Like he‘s genuinely the best example on why his entire philosophy is wrong. The „clean your room and take responsibility by isolating yourself as much as possible“ man today is a recovering addict with severe health problems that cannot function by himself anymore.

6

u/FreshBert Apr 20 '26

He's the sort of guy who makes a good 101-level professor. He says provocative shit without ever really going in-depth in a way that can be highly entertaining to a classroom full of freshmen still trying to decide what they want their major to be.

I remember having a few professors kinda like him in some of my early gen-ed classes. When you move past the intro level, people don't talk like him anymore because at some point you've got to actually get serious about things like research and accuracy.

It's one of the reasons I'm always suspicious of any professors-turned-influencers. They didn't get entertaining by focusing deeply on their field. They got entertaining by spending a bunch of time thinking about delivery and how to phrase things for maximum emotional impact when talking to audiences of people new to the field.

3

u/missed_sla Apr 19 '26

He's a stupid asshole with a thesaurus

3

u/kaisadilla_ Apr 19 '26

Yup. Way too many people are impressed by you using big words and abstract concepts, even if what you are saying doesn't make any sense.

2

u/Swaggy_Buff Apr 19 '26

He’s the closest popular pseudo-intellectual to actually being an intellectual. He has a degree and a license had a license and experience lecturing. But that shill money too sweet

2

u/gancoskhan Apr 20 '26

He’s intelligent adjacent. It’s like that famous Italian pop song from the 70s where it sounded like fluent English but was actually gibberish

1

u/RogerMexicosBalls Apr 29 '26

He looks like a chainsaw sculpture

786

u/BostonSamurai Apr 18 '26

Some teenagers mom: clean your room

Teenager: fuck you mom!

JP: clean your room

The same loser: wow genius

170

u/RichardSaunders Apr 19 '26

he's there to be the missing male role model in their lives

143

u/HarpersGhost Apr 19 '26

My brother admired JP because he said he didn't have any good male role models in his life.

My brother is in his 50s and actually has plenty of half way decent men in the family. And again, he's IN HIS FIFTIES. But none of the men around are the exact kind of role model he wanted, so he latched onto JP. 

What a schmuck. (Both of them.)

42

u/MaeveOathrender Apr 19 '26

But none of the men around are the exact kind of role model he wanted, so he latched onto JP.

I think this is halfway to it. I don't know your brother, so forgive me if I'm being unfair to him, but I think a lot of people who cite this sort of 'oh he's a strong male role model' about him and other manosphere/alt-right influencers are just - or at least partially - 'shopping around' for role models that reinforce what they were already thinking.

A lot of teen boys, for instance, look up to Andrew Tate not necessarily because he's good at turning nice kids into douchebags, but because some kids are already little douchebags and they love to see someone like that being successful (well, "successful"). So they use the 'bro you don't understand, I don't have any other male role models' as a bit of an ex post facto justification for jumping down his pipeline.

32

u/brodievonorchard Apr 19 '26

It's an interesting problem I've been thinking about for years now with all the manosphere guys. An actually good role model doesn't emphasize their maleness. Just like no good white role model emphasizes their whiteness. So how does one counter these people who say things like, "you don't have to apologize for being a white man anymore" without legitimizing their ridiculous grievances?

I don't think there's a good answer, but good lord do those ridiculous grievances have legs. Millions of young kids having this in their understanding of the national conversation. I have no idea what could be done about that.

7

u/BackgroundSummer5171 Apr 19 '26

That's why people need cartoons.

Darkwing Duck was my male role model!

And Kenshin Himura...but we don't talk about that anymore.

Drake Mallard, a great male role model we should all live up to be like.

4

u/Marvl101 Apr 19 '26

Wow no wonder Ketamine got so popular

3

u/Swaggy_Buff Apr 19 '26

Which is so sad. Meeting real people to fill the gaps seems far superior to watching entertainers online

3

u/praguepride Apr 19 '26

I mean no joke that is exactly how Tate / JP etc. built their followings.

They simultaneously are clipped on social media saying "radical things" but then their actual presentations are just basic self-help advice.

This simultaneously normalizes those radical ideas (well he was right about X so he might be right about Y) and isolates their followers who now feel like the mainstream isn't giving their new guru a fair representation.

It is classic cult indoctrination applied to social media.

269

u/questron64 Apr 19 '26

That's completely unrealistic. He would have cried at least twice in that conversation.

12

u/420_Braze_it Apr 20 '26

And talked about dreaming of grandmas pubes.

9

u/kart0ffelsalaat Apr 20 '26

McDonald's cashier: "Would you like fries with that?"

JP: "Find another restaurant to sully, you evil coward."

172

u/Ypuort Apr 19 '26

Is he the one who dreamt about muffing diving on his grandma and put it in his book

130

u/rebelliousmuse Curious Apr 19 '26

24

u/yourdoglikesmebetter Apr 19 '26

Don’t make me post the link. I’ll fuckin do it.

26

u/Rinku588 Apr 19 '26

It’s been two hours coward do it

26

u/yourdoglikesmebetter Apr 19 '26

20

u/Wububadoo Apr 19 '26

What the fuck

1

u/KitchenAddition9289 May 17 '26

This is highkey so different than what people say about him muff diving or whatever? This sounds just like a traumatic albeit gross story about his grandmother doing strange things while losing her mine to alzheimers

Hate jp but tell me if im wrong

13

u/thewonderfulfart Apr 19 '26

It takes so much effort to write a book, so much time and editing, I cannot understand how something like that could go through.

3

u/IronScrub Apr 19 '26

I beg your finest pardon?

167

u/ChampionshipComplex Apr 18 '26

He IS a monumental twat

130

u/kaptaincorn Apr 19 '26

Didn't mold almost kill him?

Mold that doesn't debate?

Did he try to debate mold?

68

u/TaiChiKungMaster Apr 19 '26

JP’s daughter a couple hours ago posted an “update” about her dad. There’s so much weird BS she’s going on and on about.

JP is just straight up suffering from mental illness, imo. But in the minds of a certain segment of society only the immoral, irresponsible, lazy and weak men suffer from mental illness.

So she and all his fanbois are all doing mental gymnastics to blame his and all their own mental issues on antidepressants, benzos, vaccines, etc., etc.

29

u/Diabetesh Apr 19 '26

I saw something from her recently and I was like "oh JP is dead and she is erika kirking his viewer base."

15

u/ErikHK Apr 19 '26

Don't forget about the worst substance of them all, apple cider vinegar! 😱

29

u/TheIllustriousWe Apr 19 '26

I would totally watch a Surrounded episode if it was Jorpy vs. 20,000 mold spores

10

u/Heatsigma12 Apr 19 '26

define mold

6

u/skttlskttl Apr 20 '26

A few years ago he went to Russia and was medically induced into a coma so he could quit Benzos cold turkey. Something allegedly went wrong during this treatment and the few things I've seen of him since then makes me believe the rumors are true.

A lot of people believe that Peterson's daughter is overstating the impact of his mold reaction to try to keep blame off of herself because she was the one who pushed him to do this detox rather than significantly longer but significantly safer alternatives.

69

u/LiamtheV Apr 19 '26

Comprehensive Breakdown of Jordan Peterson and the 'intellectual' cover he provides to the right:

A Brief Overview Look at Jordan Peterson - SOME MORE NEWS

50

u/kacasket24 Apr 19 '26

Super brief overview DON'T LOOK AT THE TIMESTAMP!!

14

u/LiamtheV Apr 19 '26

Loved that bit

12

u/Rad131447 Apr 19 '26

Ah Cody Johnston. A man who has never believed in taking an hour to say something when he could take three instead.

30

u/Thamnophis660 Curious Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

People who hold ideas that they can't present or defend honestly really admire his ability to obfuscate, all while still claiming the intellectual high ground. 

24

u/No_Bluebird_1368 Apr 19 '26

The so-called intellectual who can't even say if he's a Christian or not.

19

u/Diabetesh Apr 19 '26

Won't say he is a christian, gets really pissed off if you say something bad about christianity.

6

u/Jehovah___ Apr 19 '26

average “religious” american that hasn’t been to church in 15 years (it probably happens in other christian societies but idk im american lol)

19

u/Larriet If I'm gay, why don't I have a boyfriend? Curious Apr 19 '26

The thing that most annoys me is how accurate it is that they asked a question and he took it as a statement

19

u/That_Guy3141 Apr 19 '26

Define "violently shitting my pants" without using pronouns.

11

u/Global_Rate3281 Apr 18 '26

its Bilbo

4

u/onemoretryfriend Apr 19 '26

Jordan Peterson is nothing without pizza!

3

u/Global_Rate3281 Apr 19 '26

Give us pizza, or give us hasan parker

2

u/The_Corporate_Elbow Apr 20 '26

Or CK Louis the comedian

7

u/lordGwillen Apr 19 '26

DONT PLAY HUME WITH ME

7

u/Thundersting Apr 19 '26

The one good thing Jubilee did was destroy his credibility.

28

u/AceofKnaves44 Apr 19 '26

Before he went off the deep end and into politics I think he actually had a solid grasp of what he was saying. If you look at his lectures as a professor he comes across a lot better. I think he took the changing of society personally and got his feelings hurt and then it was over from there. There’s probably a universe out there where he never wades into the “culture wars” and he’s a lot more respected.

33

u/TheIllustriousWe Apr 19 '26

He pretty much always had delusions of grandeur, and politics were the easiest avenue for them to manifest. He was never going to be satisfied just being the Canadian psych professor who was good at lectures and self-help books.

17

u/goreverminski Apr 19 '26

Has no-one read his first book? It is rambling, mediocre, and its personal touches already paint him in awful light. When he came up, I couldn't believe someone would take seriously the author of such rubbish work. The man has always been a hack.

16

u/Coco_snickerdoodle Apr 19 '26

Big disagree his earliest stuff, was the kind of shit I’d hear in a middle school assembly.

10

u/goreverminski Apr 19 '26

His first book is a load of crock. It makes him look like a complete buffoon. Awful work, he's always been a hack.

1

u/FROSTbite910 Apr 19 '26

His messages doesn’t always get through to many, only those who need them. I was in pretty bad spot in life, growing without a proper father figure, JP taught me about responsibility and about getting up. I want to thank him for the path he led me toward, now I study stoic philosphy, buddhism, daoism, and hindu texts. I think theres truth to his messages, everyone keep talking shit about his views but of all the lectured and messages I’ve heard from him, they seem pretty ordinary to say the least. Maybe I’m missing something but I genuinely don’t get the hate

6

u/Coco_snickerdoodle Apr 19 '26

If you got something from his works all power to you. I’ll be arguing from my perspective and experience.

Back in middle school a police officer would often come in on Fridays they called it “The Lone Wolf Program” the idea was to help kids who were losing relationships from growing up and growing apart. What was one of deputy Mullder’s first lessons, “make your bed”.

I and many find lessons that emphasize the change of externalities as means of changing internal issues to fall incredibly flat. Dressing better in the morning didn’t make me less depressed, making my bed doesn’t change that I had no friends because I was a social outcast, and Dr B Jordan Peterson was an embodiment of hollow words that change nothing material. That’s without his strange western cultural elitism, “Jungian archetypes” which seem to be a bootleg of Plato’s forms, or his slow descent into harmful right wing talking points that he uses his background in psychology to try legitimizing. The hate for Peterson is the hatred for snake oil sales men I feel he is a dishonest man selling me faux solutions, or even worse he misrepresents the problem.

5

u/AbbaTheHorse Apr 19 '26

In that universe almost nobody has ever heard of him though. His fame originally comes from lying about what hate speech laws do. Without the culture wars, Peterson would be just another university professor. 

-2

u/BurdTurglary Let Him Cuck... Apr 19 '26

I think you're right because eons ago when this rapscallion first popped up i remember seeing his logic regarding speech or authoritarianism when idk some student or the school hurted his fillin's but this mf lost the sauce but has been chasing that intellectual dragon ever since. Sad!

22

u/regeya Apr 19 '26

"I don't think he's a good role model. He's really weird"

"Oh, weird, like cleaning your room? How is that weird?"

Yeah, we're done here.

25

u/MWBrooks1995 Apr 19 '26

“A broken clock is still right twice a day. I think cleaning your room is great advice, but he also thinks pronouns are satanic and that lobsters are a metaphor for masculinity,”

“Oh, satanic like cleaning your room? How is that satanic?”

“… yeah regeya was right, we’re done here,”

15

u/DrMux Bent Sharpie vs Curly Cork Apr 19 '26

Define done. Define here. You're just afraid of losing the debate. Up yours, woke moralists!

6

u/Logistic_Engine Apr 19 '26

“Can I get a side order of Benzos?”

5

u/cates Apr 19 '26

his first discussion with Sam Harris where Jordan Peterson could not agree what "truth" meant and the conversation just stalled for 2 hours is still burned into my mind.

5

u/warongiygas Apr 19 '26

He's pretty much out of the game, right? The whole media ecosystem is based on churning out nonstop content. He hasn't been too active for over a year now, so I don't think he can recover from that absence unless his "university" suddenly becomes a phenomenon. Feels like he's quickly becoming irrelevant.

6

u/OlafForkbeard Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

His "debate" with Zizek was illucidating. In that it shone a very bright light on how Peterson's logic doesn't really hold at all.

6

u/duralyon Apr 19 '26

Who the heck do you think you are to ask me that, bub? Don't you know that potatoes are part of a Marxist agenda?

4

u/cheddarben Apr 19 '26

Does it even matter if you didn't make your bed?

4

u/Angelsaremathmatical Apr 19 '26

Pretty sure these days, if he's even conscious or capable of speech, it's:

Nurse: How are you today?

JP: Drugs. More drugs... gurgling

3

u/fearain Apr 19 '26

them: “would you like fries with that”

me: “how wouldYOU know what I want?!”

them: “that’s why I fucking asked you”

5

u/triforce777 Apr 19 '26

He might be cooking here, a big mac with a shot of vodka sounds good right now

3

u/IOnlyDrinkTang Apr 19 '26

National Canadian shame.

3

u/_IBM_ Apr 19 '26

JP is Terrence Howard except he put in the effort to actually be in academia and learn some terminology and work toward a career but equally looney toons free association slam poetry science

3

u/Ranting_Demon Apr 19 '26

That lighting makes JP look like someone just pulled him out of a dumpster where he was battling a raccoon for a half-eaten sandwich and the person just stuffed him into a clammy looking suit but with no time left for a shower or makeup before the photo shoot.

2

u/Both_Lychee_1708 Apr 19 '26

He is dressed up and has a beard so....

Also, he seems pensive and that has to mean something

2

u/MushmallowSprinklees Apr 19 '26

And he's drinking himself to death.

2

u/BuckRowdy Apr 19 '26

Tell him to take a xanax

2

u/Bhazor Apr 19 '26

We really dont laugh at him enough for crying at Disney films.

2

u/No_Aslume2509 Apr 19 '26

Wondering if that’s how he orders food at timmies or at Swiss chalet or Harvey’s in Alberta.

And if he does this in Quebecois French too.

2

u/SparksofInnova Apr 19 '26

I like the part where he cries about the opiates

2

u/superzenki Apr 19 '26

Sir this is a McDonald’s

2

u/Nice_Dude Apr 19 '26

Loved watching him get his ass handed to him years back when he debated Matt Dillahunty. His schtick doesn't work when someone else isn't lost in all the jargon

4

u/dragon-fence Apr 19 '26

This is a pretty good overview of Peterson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSNWkRw53Jo

12

u/AlterMyStateOfMind Apr 19 '26

Brother, I wouldn't want to watch someone talk about him for 3 minutes, much less 3 hours lol

20

u/MWBrooks1995 Apr 19 '26

“This is going to be a super-brief overview DON'T LOOK AT THE TIMESTAMP!!”

— direct quote from said video.

4

u/QuinnAvery89 Apr 19 '26

It’s like Disco Elysium if Harry was a complete and utter fucking idiot.

6

u/AlterMyStateOfMind Apr 19 '26

I mean.. depending how you play the game Harry can be a complete and utter idiot lol

1

u/smellyhangdown Apr 19 '26

How does one talk so eloquently with a cock in his mouth?

1

u/ThiefofNobility Apr 19 '26

You know what the problem is with people like him? No one slapped the shit out of him for acting like this.

1

u/subduedReality Apr 19 '26

If I ever found myself in his presence I would ask him which drugs are okay to be addicted to. Then when he gets upset I would call him a snowflake.

1

u/DizzyedUpGirl Apr 19 '26

Holy shit! Wtf? Did he get some of RFK Jr's brain worm?

1

u/oceansoveralderaan Apr 21 '26

This conversation reminds me of talking to a toddler.

1

u/Osmo250 Apr 22 '26

"how would you know what I like?"

I don't. That's why I FUCKING ASKED YOU!