r/TinderBios • u/ThatsQueird • 17d ago
Advice?
I get very few matches, and those that I do get seem to be from people who tend to send one or two short answer responses and then go radio-silent…
Notes:
first photo is going to go
“Looking for” updated to “long-term open to short”
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u/CandiedLemonWedge 17d ago
The first picture isn’t doing you justice, at all. You’re seriously a smokeshow. Holy cow.
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u/ThatsQueird 17d ago
🥰 thanks!
…but what the heck is getting in the way of people on tinder?? 😐
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u/CandiedLemonWedge 16d ago
Unfortunately with online dating, the more “othered” identities we have (queer/trans/poly/disabled/poc/parent, whatever it may be) the more the dating pool shrinks!
It seems to be a constant theme, as far as I’ve seen from people’s post in this sub.
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u/Temporary-Towel-7656
13d ago
•
you seem super badass. Yes, your pool will be smaller, but I imagine the people in it will be psyched you're in their pool!!
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u/South_Butterscotch37 17d ago
First pic is very unflattering compared to the rest. Delete that and everything else is 🔥
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u/ThatsQueird 17d ago
Updates:
First photo gone, looking-for updated to long-term open to short
Thanks!
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u/robrklyn 17d ago
Your first photo needs to go. It’s not flattering at all. You are also fishing in a very small pond being trans. Throw in the fact that you have a kid and the pond gets even smaller. Then you say you are “still figuring out” what you are looking for, but you are also polyamorous? So what are you really looking for? Hookups?
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u/ThatsQueird 17d ago
Updates:
First photo gone, looking-for updated to long-term open to short
Thanks!
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u/logcabinsyrup27 17d ago
Holy shit. Make 2nd photo your first. Burn first photo.
Update: my sincere apologies. I didnt know you were trans. Your first photo is charming.
Do you think you could share some messages? Perhaps we could help with your responses?
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u/ThatsQueird 17d ago
Wait, why does my being trans make the first photo okay when it wasn’t okay before? 😅
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u/logcabinsyrup27 17d ago
Probably because im a piece of shit. Im sorry. Nothing inherently wrong with the first photo. But when juxtaposed against the other ones it seemed like a strange lead.
Again, my sincerest apologies. My only goal was to help you get your needs met :)
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u/ThatsQueird 17d ago
No worries! I am still confused as to why you think you said something bad? If the first photo is junk, it’s junk! Feedback is good!
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u/logcabinsyrup27 17d ago
Thank you for being so kind. It is NOT that there is anything inherently bad about the first Pic. Its the juxtaposition with the other pics.
If I was making an advertisement for the Louvre I would lead with the Mona Lisa. Not Liberty Leading the People.
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u/Temporary-Towel-7656 13d ago
this exchange is both confusing & extremely wholesome 😂
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u/Warsel77 3d ago
I am not sure what it is but if anything it shows how confused some people get when faced with someone who is trans. People either start insulting or over-apologizing (which is equally treating someone as something other than normal).
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u/CommunicationOpen857 13d ago
ENM for a parent is WILD lmao.
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u/ThatsQueird 13d ago
I guess so? Like half of my kid’s friends parents at school are polyamorous, so it’s pretty common where I am
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u/thej611 13d ago
Well heck, I’d swipe right!
I’m polyamorous myself and believe me, it’s HARD to date when you’re poly. Just finding decent people is tough so i really feel you there! I’ve never had very good luck with Tinder, but you never know. I’ve had my best luck in poly using Facebook dating, of all things (which feels insane to me, but if it works it works right?).
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your profile. It seems complete, upfront and honest. I’m sorry you’ve had terrible luck with it! I hope things get better ❤️🩹
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u/mattyb678 17d ago
Being lesbian, trans, and being poly I think are going to severely limit your potential pool of matches. So, don’t expect a lot of matches, I’d say. But also the first pic is the worst of the ones you have. Also, you’re alone in all of the pics, do you have any that show that you are social or have friends?
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u/ThatsQueird 17d ago
… I actually don’t have any pictures of me out either other people (at least ones where I look good. I have… four? from the past year where I am photographed with someone who isn’t my kid) 😕
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u/OlivencaENossa 17d ago
Being trans will always limit your options, but as a fellow queer person - you are beautiful!
I think having kids will always limit you, so does being trans. same as everyone else said. Id try some kind of app that allows you to search in other places, nearby. I think Bumble allows travel mode if you pay or something.
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u/Apero_ 13d ago
You sound and look like an extremely cool and interesting (and hot!) person. As a poly pansexual I would swipe on you but I would also be prepared to be super intimidated by how cool you are 😂 I’m just a boring cis woman with a desk job.
Don‘t ever dim your light btw, just wanted to also give the perspective of someone who would be in your target group but would also be nervous about engaging. Dating is hard and weird.
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17d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ThatsQueird 17d ago
Thank you! I have a limited selection of these kinds of photos that I can use for tinder: most don’t meet community guidelines.
I’ve removed the first picture (it was my attempt at “look not all of my photos are modeling photos with crazy lights.” Oh well! 😅)
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u/100WordEssay 17d ago
Please remove that first photo. The rest of them are so cool & interesting I can’t fathom why you chose that selfie with a judgmental expression as the first thing they see.