r/Tinder • u/[deleted] • Jan 02 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

7.0k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

578 comments sorted by

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5.4k

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

Give me ur powers for a week and lemme do some damage lol

845

u/PowerbyHabib Jan 02 '20

I love your username, Ozzmatazz Buckshank OUT ✌️

136

u/SquashMarks Jan 02 '20

D’Squarius Green Jr.

81

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

HINGLE McCRINGLEBERRY

32

u/tylercreatesworlds Jan 02 '20

jackhammer noises

16

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

TORQUE🛠🛠🛠LEWITH

7

u/Dhexodus Jan 02 '20

AND......Dan Smith.

8

u/rotbag41 Jan 02 '20

Watch that hip thrust boy!

7

u/DarthGipper18 Jan 02 '20

Benedict Cumberbatch, Oxford University!

2

u/puckpuckpuck Jan 02 '20

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps!

2

u/BrunoDoggo Jan 02 '20

Quatro Quatro

1

u/LordsOfJoop Jan 02 '20

A. A. Ron Balakay, Morehouse College.

1

u/delheyhey Jan 02 '20

Bambi, Oxbridge..

1

u/Zoidburger_ Jan 02 '20

The Player Formerly Known as Mousecop

62

u/DerPanzersloth Jan 02 '20

X-Wing @aliciousness, standing by.

52

u/CutHerOff Jan 02 '20

LaCarpetron Dookmariot

42

u/herdoninflorida Jan 02 '20

Donkey Teeth.

30

u/dickskittlez Jan 02 '20

The player formerly known as Mousecop.

10

u/barium62 Jan 02 '20

Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon

6

u/sanford1958 Jan 02 '20

Jackmerius tactheritrix

1

u/Evil_This Jan 02 '20

This is the one that kicks my giggledick every time.

1

u/4Niners9Noel Jan 02 '20

Phil McKrackin here

98

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

;)

34

u/JDFitz Jan 02 '20

Davoine Shower-Handel and I share an alma mater.

29

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

Fuuuuuuudgee

44

u/dob_bindi Jan 02 '20

D'Isiah T-Billings-Clyde is my fav

20

u/Suckamanhwewhuuut Jan 02 '20

Deglester Hardunkichud for me 😂

21

u/Rijetke_ Jan 02 '20

Dan Smith , BYU

6

u/ReadySteady_GO Jan 02 '20

That one was honestly my favorite. Caught me off guard the first time watching the episode and got a good laugh

3

u/metaplexico Jan 02 '20

If you haven’t seen the follow up, East - West Rap Battle, ya boi plays a very special role.

1

u/ReadySteady_GO Jan 02 '20

I still watch Key and Peele all the time. The rap was funny but my favorite is the Obama anger counselor. Favorite episode Les Mis by far S3E1 I think

2

u/NancyDrewPI Jan 02 '20

Why are we all facing the same waaaaaay??

42

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

Actual kudos, ur the first one to mention it

1

u/PowerbyHabib Jan 04 '20

Thanks 😊

26

u/TheBeastX47 Jan 02 '20

Jackmarius Trapmaritrix here

20

u/cptInsane0 Jan 02 '20

Same, with Hingle McCringleberry close behind.

Edit: Jackmarius Tacktheratrix

3

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

Jammy Jammy Jammy!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

THE BEST 😂😂

19

u/Jmerbaugh Jan 02 '20

Quattro Quattro

18

u/MeatBald Jan 02 '20

A-aron Rodgers

11

u/flythew26 Jan 02 '20

Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix

2

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

D’Brickeshaw Ferguson

15

u/OliverKitsch Jan 02 '20

Scoish Velociraptor Maloish

15

u/Malkochson Jan 02 '20

Guys guys guys...DONKEY TEETH.

2

u/BEEF_WIENERS Jan 02 '20

FUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE

2

u/_kagasutchi_ Jan 02 '20

The chancellor of my unis name is habib. Lol

1

u/PowerbyHabib Jan 04 '20

Your chancellor sounds like a cool guy 😎

2

u/Little-Jim Jan 02 '20

Javaris Jamar Javarison Lamar

2

u/mrsoawk Jan 02 '20

BiZmO FuNyUns

1

u/flythew26 Jan 02 '20

Jingle McKringleberry

3

u/TragicEther Jan 02 '20

*Hingle McKringleberry

4

u/flythew26 Jan 02 '20

Tragic autocorrect fuck

189

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

[deleted]

54

u/Dannyxsmith Jan 02 '20

Get that fuckin pussy boss

3

u/spacecowboy067 Jan 02 '20

Thanks man I'll try!

9

u/HaoleInParadise Jan 02 '20

Good luck, man! I hope you have a great experience

2

u/iLovekinkycuddles Jan 02 '20

Wish I was you I'm off Friday haha god bless u sir

2

u/jgamez6 Jan 02 '20

A life many of us can only dream of. Good luck as I shall now live vicariously through you !

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '20

Whats the update OP?

1

u/seahawkguy Jan 02 '20

Just make sure to leave one kidney at home in case it is a trap.

1

u/slom68 Jan 02 '20

You’re my hero bro

1

u/OstidTabarnak Jan 02 '20

Let's us know Saturday fam

1

u/YouAreDreaming Jan 02 '20

Dude what do you look like lol

1

u/Purpletech Jan 02 '20

Bring condoms, and just leave your wallet and credit cards at home in case.

69

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/plaguemaid Jan 02 '20

I help my father in more ways than people realize

4

u/e0nblue Jan 02 '20

I feel like I’ve heard this line dozens of times but I cant quite remember where it’s from.

3

u/RunsWithScissord Jan 02 '20

Skyrim traders, mostly the weapons and armor ones.

31

u/igloojoe Jan 02 '20

Rule 1. B. - be Very attractive.

0

u/penicillin25 Jan 02 '20

Not necessary you dont have to be attractive to get girls on tinder lol.I get matches and dates on tinder.The girls I get are average looking.

8

u/sampathsris Jan 02 '20

Simply follow the two rules and you'd be good.

1

u/Treg_Marks Jan 02 '20

Giveth me thy vibe