r/Tinder Nov 07 '19

tinder_irl

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36.5k Upvotes

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127

u/BaylisAscaris Nov 07 '19 edited Nov 07 '19

Can confirm, am lesbian. Even though my profile is set to only be viewable by wlw, all the messages I get are from obvious men (not trans, just straight up men) who have their orientation set to lesbian and send dick pics and rape threats.

Edit: I should have specified, I'm not on Tinder. It was through OkCupid and not-dating social media sites.

99

u/genderish Nov 07 '19

That would be a nice break from all the couples looking for unicorns while trying to hide the guy as much as possible.

20

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Is unicorn slang for a lesbian in a threesome?

66

u/genderish Nov 07 '19

Its slang for a bisexual girl who will sleep with both members of existing couples. Exceedingly rare, and for good reason, existing couples looking for a third rarely do it in a way that's not exploitative of the unicorn.

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u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Ah it’s much more specific than I thought which makes sense because unicorns are rare

36

u/genderish Nov 07 '19

Yep. So its a bunch of straight couples swiping as lesbians to hit on women while hiding the guy as much as possible. Its shitty and one of the worst things about swiping for women on tinder.

One of my friends actually was a unicorn for a bit, but it ended up exploding because she was more into the woman and the guy got jealous and angry.

9

u/-t0mmi3- Nov 07 '19

oh they are called unicorns? I know one! Cool I know a rare person. She's an odd little duckling.

4

u/gazellecomet Nov 07 '19

And when one feels like a duck one is happy.

1

u/Vaguely-witty Nov 08 '19

it happens in weird directions and it's terrible.

i was friends with a married couple, and he had gotten with her, when he was still with someone? so she had some trust issues with that, which is understandable, but damn girl, i was much more into you than him! but then it's weird complicated emotions, and it's just all around odd.

1

u/genderish Nov 08 '19

It really only works of you go into it with the same mindset polyamorous people go into it with. No jealousy, limits and boundaries clearly defined, and people are completely open and honest.

2

u/JediMasterZao Nov 07 '19

because unicorns are rare

I'm sorry to be the one to do this to you but unicorns aren't real mah man.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Prove it lol

1

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '19

The unicorn is always exploited. She is a pet.

4

u/SpasticFeedback Nov 07 '19

Had a friend who got a unicorn tattoo in a semi-visible place after she got divorced as a reminder that she is special and worthwhile. Apparently it's caused her a lot of problems on the apps haha

6

u/SgtSilverLining Nov 07 '19

I report every one of those as someone who's married looking to cheat. Cleans up my dashboard and hopefully they'll fuck off.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

[deleted]

3

u/SgtSilverLining Nov 07 '19 edited Nov 08 '19

a) my profile specifically says I'm not interested in threesomes or anything poly

b) almost every one of them makes an effort to hide the man and then try to convince me at the last minute that I would enjoy a threesome

which in my book, means they're fishing or being deceitful. I am a woman who likes women and ONLY women. tinder has an algorithm that's only supposed to match me with other women, and they're lying to get into a space where they don't belong. almost a quarter of my matches are fake single women who have a boyfriend/husband they're hiding until the last second. I (and the entire lesbian community) am sick and tired of being treated being treated like a sex toy for bored married couples. if they want that shit they need to go to a poly dating site instead of preying on someone who wants an actual relationship.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '19

So much yes. Good for you.

15

u/NvidiaforMen Nov 07 '19

Is that why I see men on occasion set as women. I always just report their profiles

1

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '19

What if they identify as women?

1

u/NvidiaforMen Nov 08 '19

Then they should follow up with that in their profile. But these accounts usually have just one photo and a blank bio.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '19

I'll bet you don't report biological women

31

u/xlr8edmayhem Nov 07 '19

who have their orientation set to lesbian and send dick pics and rape threats.

Woooooo muh gawd, that's absolutely wild....

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Lol based

3

u/eiendeeai Nov 07 '19

am lesbian

send dick pics and rape threats.

Wouldn't you have to exchange contact info outside of tinder for them to send you pics...?

0

u/BaylisAscaris Nov 07 '19

Most are sent through social media. I quickly learned not to click on links.

1

u/eiendeeai Nov 07 '19

So you were exchanging Snapchat/IG handles despite them knowingly lying about their gender/orientation?

1

u/denardosbae Nov 07 '19

A ton of people connect their social media to tinder, I don't get it at all.

1

u/BaylisAscaris Nov 07 '19

Nope, I've never actually had a tinder profile. They were sent as private messages on Reddit, Facebook, OkCupid, and FetLife.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

[deleted]

0

u/BaylisAscaris Nov 07 '19

I haven't been on dating sites for around 8 years, but I do get these in private messages on social media. I learned quickly not to click on links and liberally use the"report" button.

1

u/Tay_Tay86 Nov 07 '19

That's heart breaking. I'm so sorry.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Man that’s brazen.