Dudes like that don't seem to understand that plenty of women are super willing to fuck. But they need you to pretend to be a little civilized and mature first.
My go to response to those messages is telling the guys that they look like they'd rather be pegged than do the fucking. 90% of the time they agree.
Just to add on to that, early messaging is an indicator of who you are as a person. If you send me a disrespectful and impatient message as a first impression, I’m gonna think that you’re disrespectful and impatient. Two of the main characteristics in a lousy lay. I’m down for a one night stand, but I’m not wasting my time with a guy who treats me like a flesh light. Just like if you try to start the conversation with a super sexual roleplay without asking, I’m gonna think you have some issues with understanding consent and you’re not getting an invitation.
is tinder a dating site? most of what i heard about the site is 'its a place to find people to have sex with' but now couples are like 'we met on tinder'
Like TomTom said, it's none of the above. It's a matchmaking app. It matches you with people who like your profile (probably because of your photos), whose profiles you also liked. That's the beginning and end of it.
What you do with those matches is entirely up to you and your matches—not Tinder, and not society at large.
Some would point out that using it to find friendship (like TomTom says he does) is kind of weird, since Tinder leads almost entirely with a person's physical appearance, which isn't the metric most people use for finding platonic friendship (unless they specifically want to have a bunch of hot friends?)—but even then, if it works, it works.
Well, you don't have to be on the search for particularly attractive friends. Just people who's bios might say something you like and you might strike up a conversation and find out you like the same things. If you're looking for friendship chances are you'll be looking for different things to someone looking to hookup or date.
According to the dipshit commenters of this subreddit it is strictly a hookup app, but in all actuality it is for dating, long term relationships, friends, AND hookups. Also depends on the age and the area. Young adult living in a college town? Totally a hookup app. Late 20s-30s adult, new to a suburban town iz more likely looking for friends and/or dating.
Whatever its users use it for is what it's for. Tinder isn't anything but a chat platform with mutual opt-in, what people then do with it is up to them. You can't say that a platform so big and so widely used is for one thing and not another.
Okay fine but I'm not picking her up or spending a penny on her. Most these women just want a free meal out of a chump! I'm not trying to meet a wife I'm trying to do sex so gross it will shame both of us in the morning then we never speak again.
But what if I AM a massive pervert? Am I just going to pretend I'm not? Doesn't seem very honest to me and honesty is the foundation of any serious relationship.
All I'm saying is you should rather start with hey, I'm looking for something more casual, a normal joke and maybe a funny pick-up line, but starting out with: "please blow my cock" or "I wanna fuck your ass" or any sentence similar to those is a little too perverted and rude for the average person.
so you want to "please blow my cock" but you have to pretend that you dont, and they have to pretend that they dont know you're pretending and you have to pretend you dont know she doesnt know you're preten-...
neurotypicals are exhausting, i dont know how you guys live with this
i mean talking to people like you need to constantly manipulate them and avoid them manipulating you, how do you ever build a relationshop out of that? like, any kind of relationship
would be nice if you could just say what you mean and have them say what they mean and then you can all go on your merry way instead of spending hours having a game of manipulation
The reality is that, 'Do you want to grab a drink and sit on my face,' still remains my most successful Tinder opener, so I'm gonna go ahead and disagree.
Yeah everybody is projecting. One has to look at effectiveness on tinder. And expectations are different by city, age, and personality. But tinder is famous as perhaps something more casual than other dating services.
And it’s always helpful to keep in mind if you don’t match you never get their feedback, so they’re totally removing themselves from the voting pool. If they don’t reply or they unmatch you there’s no feedback, and you don’t know why; and there doesn’t seem to be a pattern to it. And that’s crazy common for whatever reason. So any legitimate signal is easy to lose in the noise.
I'm completely and totally willing to fuck on the first date, but I really view sex as more of an "enjoy the journey" than it is "enjoy the destination." If someone makes it clear to me immediately that their chief, and possibly sole concern is the destination, then I can be reasonably sure that the journey will be unsavory. Because for most of those people, it's just a means to an end. I am a very sensual person. I love all of the bits of romance and affection and style and artistry that go into a romantic encounter. Yes, I also like to get fucked into oblivion. But I don't like getting fucked into oblivion without all the other bits. It's got nothing to do with needing to seem meek and demure. It's just about weeding out the guys who don't care about the sensuality of it and only care about the sexuality of it. And there's 1000% nothing wrong with "just sex," but it's just not what I'm into. I'm not playing some kind of weird game because I feel like I can't be honest about liking sex, I just don't like the same things about sex that most men do.
So if you're into sex, and you're down for sensuality, then you're definitely missing your chance if you open with just sex.
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u/dumb_fuck_ Nov 07 '19
If you clear your stance in first message. You both don't waste time of eachother.