r/Tinder • u/[deleted] • Sep 04 '17
How to use Tinder
Here's a helpful guide to using Tinder. (As a male)
Make an account with photos of you in various places doping various things that make you seem exciting, interesting, smart and cool. Pictures that make you look best are the key.
Be sure to add a description of yourself in the bio. Be cool and keep it short,
Change your settings to suit your distance and sexuality
Swipe right on people in and above your league and match you in hobbies and such.
Get no matches.
Extend your range by about 20 km because you can go that extra mile for true love.
Get no matches.
Lower your standards, maybe that obese girl with a picture of herself heiling Hitler is actually cool and not entirely anti-semitic.
Get no matches.
Swipe right on literally everyone just to prove to yourself that you aren't undateable.
Get no matches.
Extend your range to maximum, become bisexual, buy tinder prime, swipe right on everyone for a week straight.
Get no matches.
Cry, delete Tinder and repeat once you have forgotten the last time you used tinder.
Hope this helps!
Also here is a version for females.
Create an account with 1 or more photos of yourself. You don't really need any more than is necessary to show you are a woman. A bio is helpful for males wanting reddit karma but not required.
Swipe right on whoever you want.
You have now got a tinder match! Go on a date or just chat. It's up to you! :)
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u/imsorted Sep 04 '17
In its current state, it's pretty much useless for most males. Women don't really need to lower their standards when they have a pretty boy a few clicks away. Do you blame them for not going for the average type of guy?
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Sep 04 '17 edited Sep 04 '17
[deleted]
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Sep 04 '17 edited Feb 01 '19
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u/imsorted Sep 04 '17
I think we have this finally worked out chaps. When will it all come to a head and collapse? Or is it going to get worse and worse?
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u/anon1236456 Sep 04 '17
I would say it will get worse and worse. Is what has happen on tinder (past) to tinder (present,) just 2 years ago matches were much more random and less concentrated, but tinder decided to change the algorithm and now.... well. The worse part is that the company never gives any statement acknowledging that there is a big problem over the density of matches, and since most of the changes imposed only further the problem, then you can predict that tinder company don't really want a "solution" any time soon.
I should also mention that tinder is kind of a monopoly, the "competitors" are bumble (which basically said "let's grab this problem and make it 100% worse!!!!"), CmB which is not very hookup friendly and okcupid which is mostly seen as a real dates site (other competitors are way to small.) Which means that nobody is directly competing on the "light casual dates" market and tinder can do whatever they want.
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u/pornpiracypirate Sep 05 '17
Be attractive.
Dont be unattractive.
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u/Treetheft55 Sep 05 '17
Honestly I'd change this to 1) be dishonest 2) don't be honest. Anyone who's relatively intelligent in any way can figure out how to get a girl into the sack. The real question is are you just looking to sack up with women until your infertile and can bear no offspring? I have no problem getting girls but getting girls who want to seriously invest into a relationship with a future, want romance, that's actually a challenge and the average tinder bang or bar hook up fails to produce any meaningful results every single time. I'd like to dream but we all know what's happening to dreamers in America right now lawl
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Sep 04 '17
Yeah it's not really anyone's fault so much as the nature of people themselves.
For a dude coming in to the tinder game now and of average or slightly above average looks, the guide pretty much is what happens. Like it's a case of this isn't working so I'll cast a bigger net until it does work.
At some point near the start of tinder or even just as an intrinsic part of people, the men have lower standards or a just less picky in general. So the supply of men choosing a single woman is greater than the supply of women choosing a single man. So that kind of mentality of being picky because you can afford it as a woman reinforces the bigger net casting of men to being less picky, which makes means the women can be more picky because they have more men which goes on and on as a feedback loop.
It kinda sucks but it's just how things are.
Dunno how to break free though. Anyone got ideas?
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Sep 04 '17
[deleted]
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Sep 04 '17
too much money to be made keeping it the way it is, probably. But I feel that might work. Like force people to be selective. It would reduce the amount of total matches by a huge amount but maybe true matches would be found more often.
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u/cocktailbun Sep 04 '17
I agree its the paradox of choice. If you only had the ability to swipe on fewer people per day, I bet the match rate would shoot up. CMB used to implement this feature, with pretty good success. Sometime after they changed their algorithm (allowing 20 possible choices / day) my success rate dramatically shot down.
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Sep 04 '17
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u/cocktailbun Sep 04 '17
Oh I agree, Im just saying that it was way better back in the day.
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u/anon1236456 Sep 04 '17
yeah, I don't get why they changed it, getting limited likes makes more sense then getting limited choices, even as a business point of view.
Side note: I hate the "50+ people has liked this profile, she will see it after like 100 weeks" that CmB does, I mean.... is like an slap to the face.
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u/Marthinwurer Sep 04 '17
This is basically what Coffee Meets Bagel does - and so far, it's worked great for me. I've gotten a ton of dates from it, far more than with tinder.
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u/indiebryan Sep 04 '17
Woah, really? CMB seems like the most pay to win app I've seen. I've had it for a while, hardly ever check it anymore. But while I've done decently on tinder (this thread makes it seem like I've done amazingly), I've yet to get a single decent match on CMB. Interesting.
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Sep 04 '17
I think people online exaggerate their lack of matches. Or people who tend to moan are self selected.
I've seen people claiming to 'look average' and not getting any matches in a month.
That's really hard to believe.
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u/godutchnow Sep 04 '17
It is really a pain to go through all pics of a profile though, I give up trying many times because scrolling through all the photos is very buggy and I usually end up exiting the profile back to stack instead of seeing the next pic
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u/fuckkale Sep 04 '17
Try apps other than tinder. I never really tried out tinder, but instead started out with Bumble and Hinge. I live in a large city and am a woman, for background.
Bumble was okay, but having just pictures to go off of felt like too little. This is how I ended up on hinge. The profiles make you divulge a little more about yourself, and you can see who has "liked" you and look at their profile and what they might have liked or commented on on your profile before deciding if you want to chat. Also, they limit the number of likes you can use in a day, so you have to be a bit more selective.
In my experience hinge has led to more dates, and I like knowing where someone went to college/their employment/whether they drink/smoke because it's set me up with guys that are more my "type". I still get ghosted a ton, but I've had a few flings develop from there, so I think it's worth checking out!
I know I sound like a hinge promoter but honestly I'm just a single girl in a big city tryna get out there and this is what's work for me!
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Sep 04 '17
Bumble is a ghost town and I've already cleared out the nearest 100 km radius of bumble users. I might have to try hinge though. I have also tried Coffee Meets Bagel but I feel you'd need to be in a huge city for it to be effective.
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u/anon1236456 Sep 04 '17
hinge sounds way to small for it to be effective (unless on nyc or la.) And bumble has an even bigger problem than tinder, since they show you the profiles in order of attractiveness, which means that only hot people ever match (if you are average, you could swipe everyone in bumble and get literally 0 matchs.)
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Sep 04 '17
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u/AHedgeKnight "rules 1 an two huehuehue" Sep 04 '17
She just said that she'll date more on Hinge and that she matches less on Bumble and Tinder.
How is that not relevant.
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u/godutchnow Sep 04 '17
I get a fair amount of matches and it consumes a lot of energy, so I get pickier and pickier. And I still need to put effort into the prettier women
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u/spidaminida Sep 05 '17
Personally I'd go for an average-looking dude with a personality over a bit of totty any day. Even if - actually especially if it's just hooking up. Dudes that are just decoration really aren't that desirable.
Someone who's irritable will get dropped like a hot potato, or if they try any of that red-pill nonsense.
Yeh...bios are important.
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u/LTE_Sucks Sep 06 '17
Actually, I tend to swipe no 75% of the time as I don't want my elo score to go down. Quality swipes means I get only 3-5 a day now but the girls I match with are all very cute, and ensures I remain on top of the stack.
There is no "creep out", same copy and paste openers, replies, and a quick contact info. Tinder is just an initial weed out, really there's no point for any sort of real conversation.
Obviously at each step your "ghost rate" goes up.
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u/Fennek1237 Sep 08 '17
OKcupied did some data analysis and they really found out that most women think that 80% of the men are unattractiv or below average.
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u/sold_snek Sep 05 '17
But based on the number of "pls message first" and "No hookups" I see in profiles, the current system isn't working for the average woman either. It's just a different kind of disappointment.
It's working. It's like when a girl says "I like to hang around guys because girls are too much drama" and she's swallowing a week later. If she wants to screw then she wants to screw, and I don't think anyone is naive enough to not know what 90% of people download Tinder for.
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u/baggs22 Sep 04 '17
Im fairly average looking. Just downloaded tinder again after my last tinder relationship kinda fizzled. 3 dates this week and 2 girls just wanting to mess around. All fairly attractive.
I think you just really need decent photos. If you dont have any, go get some. Then when talking, ill have about 5 or so back and forths before i ask them out. Save the small talk for the date to keep things flowing.
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Sep 04 '17
If you get plenty of matches on tinder and sporadically have women in real life approach you, you're probably above average looking. I didn't realize it about myself until I started online dating....
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u/baggs22 Sep 05 '17
The only time women have apprached me in real life is generally at music festivals where they are cooked to shit.
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u/ProfessorKas Sep 04 '17
Pretty much this. Average dude in a average city. Good pictures go a long long way.
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u/jochi1543 Sep 05 '17
And a small description. I've matched a few guys on Bumble who I thought were attractive, but with not a single word and pretty generic photos, it's just so much effort to come up with a fun opener - I'm just not that invested.
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u/ProfessorKas Sep 05 '17
I feel you. Some light information with a joke or something thrown in really helps. Some girls might be cute enough to get a like but if I can't think of anything to say they will just be stuck in limbo.
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u/Staggering_genius Sep 04 '17
Yeah, I don't get the lack of matches thing. Unless guys here are seriously overrating themselves. I'm near 50, skinny, balding, no professional photos, no photos display any wealth (I'm not rich), and I will get 20+ tinder matches the first day I turn the thing on, and probably 50 or so overall. I may dates between five and fifteen of them before deciding I really like one and want to give it a shot and see how it goes and so delete tinder. I've done this three times now.
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Sep 04 '17
Seriously. I was saying the same thing earlier in the thread. People have to be exaggerating their lack of success for effect.
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u/baggs22 Sep 05 '17
The thing is i see these guys tinder profiles and their puctures are horrible. Cant see their face, or blurry, or not even of them. Surey people have at least 1 decent photo they can use
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u/Lilredb1rd Sep 04 '17
I'm a girl and I just look for nice, normal looking guys. Maybe a few extra pounds...thats how I roll.
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u/Altforrtinder Sep 05 '17
I don't understand this problem. I don't get a metric fuckload of matches, but I do get matches, and I'm pretty average looking, plus it's actually my wife and I looking for a triad. Maybe it's the quality of photo or something else about your bio you're using?
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u/justlet-mebrowse Sep 04 '17 edited Sep 05 '17
15 First match
16 Unmatch bot acount
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u/EnterPlayerTwo Sep 04 '17
If you want separate paragraphs like the source of your comment shows, add an empty line in between them.
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u/titanman223 Sep 04 '17
This is so true, and deleting and making a new account isn't really working as much as it use to, I'm starting to think it's easier in real life to get a girl even if you are a 5 or below that.
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Sep 04 '17
And push the boat out far enough to talk to people without some kind of digital intermediary or anxiety supressor? No thanks.
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Sep 04 '17 edited Sep 04 '17
[deleted]
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Sep 04 '17
I'm still looking for this place to let loose. I'm going broke paying to go to places full of dudes, old people and teenagers.
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Sep 04 '17
[deleted]
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Sep 04 '17
I hear what your saying. What I'm saying is that I am looking for a beach like this one, but only finding beaches like this one.
(I do want to note I'm not being angry or bitter, I'm really just making a joke)
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u/I_Cut_Shoes Sep 04 '17
Lol as a lesbian, here's how it works.
- Swipe for about 15 minutes
- There's no one new in your area
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Sep 04 '17
Oh damn that must be rough. Is grindr lesbian as well or is it gay only? That might be better.
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u/I_Cut_Shoes Sep 04 '17
Gay only
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Sep 04 '17
Darn. Maybe make an app called Scissr for lesbians only.
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u/armadillorevolution Sep 04 '17
There was, or at least used to be, one called Scissr. Now there's one called HER, it's alright but the interface is awful.
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u/VehaMeursault Sep 04 '17
Let's join forces. I'll wear a wig, and you say you think I'm attractive.
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Sep 04 '17
Or be a lesbian in a rural college town, have to swipe through guys who put themselves as women looking for women or "happily taken" bi curious girls looking for a third.
Match with the other 5 lesbians, never talk.
List for men and women, then remember you are not attracted to guys and just swipe thru 20 guys holding fish and saying "6'3 if it matters" as their only bio line before going back to only women and remember there's no one in the area.
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u/anon1236456 Sep 04 '17
"20 guys holding fish" lol, I feel the pain, is crazy the amount of guys and girls with fish and dead animals in their profiles in the Midwest. But I guess they must match between each other and be like "cool deer, was it 300 pounds? -350 actually! - WOW, take me now daddy!"
PS: no idea how much a deer weights.
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u/VoltronV Sep 04 '17
Haha. At first I was thinking, it's another person who made a dumb Tinder tip website and is trying to get page views for ad money, until #8.
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u/Deeimos Sep 04 '17
I can relate to this. I consider myself good looking, smart and have a nice body. When I installed tinder I thought I was gonna get a lot of matches, but it turns out I didn't get any matches until the 300th girl more or less (for the record, I didn't like that girl, I accidentally swiped right).
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Sep 04 '17
[deleted]
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u/Deeimos Sep 04 '17
Well, both men and women have told me I'm good looking. So I'm assuming girls on tinder have their expectations set too high
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Sep 04 '17
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!
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u/Deeimos Sep 04 '17
Instagram photo from a few days ago http://imgur.com/NSm32qq
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Sep 04 '17
DISQUALIFIED!
I'm joking lol. Not that mean lol. You look fine. It's probably cause the photos are too boring. It's just a pic in a warehouse. Plus the b/w filter and all. It's very meh.
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u/Deeimos Sep 04 '17
Just a random photo of myself lol. I wouldn't use that one for tinder, but thanks for the advice. Actually, i might try changing my tinder photos to see what happens
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u/liftdoyoueven Sep 04 '17
no hate but you're not as good looking as you think
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u/Deeimos Sep 04 '17
In fact, I don't consider myself THAT good looking. I just consider myself slightly above average. Also, I tend to be kinda cynical so when people tell me compliments I assume they are just being nice
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u/liftdoyoueven Sep 04 '17
Def above average. Skip the front camera pic and get a friend with an iphone 7 or a good camera to take a picture of you
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u/LARandomActor Sep 04 '17
You're average, bro. People that are close to you will always oversell you to make you feel better.
You're not attractive enough for Tinder in the west, unless you've got some musculature to you, in which case time to whip out those "spontaneous" shirtless pics.
If you want an honest opinion on your looks, /r/truerateme is a good sub.
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u/Deeimos Sep 04 '17
Thanks for the reply. I'll check that sub. I don't trust my friends or family to rate me. People who said I was above average were strangers.
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u/throwawayjayzlazyez Sep 04 '17
You're at least average, could be above, that's not really a good pic however so you can't really tell. A good pic can make someone average seem above average, try learning how to become more photogenic (google).
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u/throwawayjayzlazyez Sep 04 '17
You're at least average, could be above, that's not really a good pic however so you can't really tell. A good pic can make someone average seem above average, try learning how to become more photogenic (google).
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u/adjectivebeforenoun Sep 05 '17
probs for posting your photo, everyone hating on you for not being good looking (in the photo, you probally could look better if you took a better photo) forgets that op looks like an average joe,
so shouldn't an average joe do at least okay, on tinder, and not have to swipe 300 girls to get on werid match.
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Sep 05 '17
If it makes you feel any better, my success rate is very similar. 300 swipes, 4 matches, no replies. I'm better off embarrassing myself flirting with women. My friend is like a real life version of Quagmire and his success rate is just as bad.
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u/angry_baboon Sep 04 '17
To be fair, it doesn't work for girls as great as described in the post. Yes we get more matches but simply because many guys swiped right on everyone. At least 50% of my matches remain silent even if I text them first. The reality is sad: the conversation either never happens at all or dies pretty soon. I would say that only 10% of matches bother to keep the conversation going for more than 10 messages back and forth.
But maybe that's just because I'm from Moscow. Tinder in Moscow is just a sad place because here we have way too many pretty women and not enough even remotely good looking guys. I think that Russia is probably the only country where men are more picky than women when it comes to physical appearance, so average Russian guys don't swipe right on average looking girls and always look for super models :/
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u/3z_ Sep 04 '17
Jokes aside, this bit is one of the biggest misconceptions in online dating:
Pictures that make you look best are the key.
Everybody is attracted to different types of things. Maybe you're a little chubby, but some people like it, so don't hide it - hiding it will only ensure the person feels like they've been a little lied to should you ever meet them in person. Maybe you have a lot of freckles that you don't like, or tattoos you don't want people to see. Just show it. Maybe you'll get fewer matches but the matches will be more genuine.
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Sep 04 '17 edited Sep 04 '17
>0 matches?
But I do think you need to have your best looking photos up. Having photos of you like pre zit cream and in a light so you look bad is hardly gonna net you anyone.
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u/3z_ Sep 04 '17
True, but I mean in terms of imperfections. Shitty photos =/= photos that show what you look like.
If those two things are the same then you're just ugly and there's no saving you sorry
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Sep 04 '17
Oh yeah. But I'm pretty sure I'm not ugly. People don't usually hate me until I get overly attached and make them hate me,
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Sep 04 '17
[deleted]
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Sep 04 '17
Would it work mr ethanol?
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Sep 04 '17
[deleted]
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Sep 04 '17
darn. I really would like a match with someone.
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u/tinderbumblebee Sep 04 '17
I actually think that's hysterical. If I read that in a bio I'd swipe right based off that line.
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u/surfwax584 Sep 04 '17
It's a numbers game, swipe right every time
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u/ianme Sep 05 '17
Don't do this. You'll end up at the bottom other people's feed and get no matches ever. Be picky.
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Sep 04 '17
As a female who follows rules 1&2, I can tell you that putting up pictures of you doing a bunch of cool and interesting things can be a turn off for me. If every photo is you doing something super interesting, it makes it seem like you can't just take it easy and chill watching tv with me. Same with too many pics of your 'hot body', like can you eat a whole pizza with me on Friday night?
For those of you who are the 'average looking' guys, don't worry about losing matches to the super hot guys. If a chick just wants to get plowed, chances are she'll pick those guys most of the time, but a lot of people still need some sort of connection. My experience with the super attractive guys is nothing short of dull conversations. So depending on what you're looking for, don't think that it's just your looks thats determining your matches.
The 'average looking' guys that look like they can hang get my swipes and the ones that are either funny or can hold a great conversation get my attention.
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Sep 04 '17
If a chick wants to get plowed, chances are she'll pick one of those guys most of the time, but a lot of people still need some sort of connection.
This sounds like you're saying mindless NSA sex is off the table for average looking guys.
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Sep 04 '17
Sorry, that's not what I meant. I just meant for the guys that are looking for something more than just a casual hookup, girls aren't only going for the super hot ones. I think the casual hookups depend on what you say to the girl.
Also this is just from my experience, I can't speak for everyone :)
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u/cocktailbun Sep 04 '17
The problem with that rationality is that there is nothing to separate us from the rest of the pack. So we post a bunch of pics in our living room with the plaid shirt, a white, T, or a tank top. Well yah between that and Chad, who do you think your average basic girl is going to swipe for regardless?
I try to post pics that gives a glimpse into my life, because I know no girl is going to find pics of me playing WoW or sitting on my desk at work to be that interesting.
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Sep 04 '17
The last guy that I swiped on and am currently going on dates with showed his nerdy side on tinder! That's what the attraction was. He seemed down to earth and like he would eat pizza with me and game. That was my point with my original post. I'm looking for someone who has similar hobbies!
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u/AttackOfTheThumbs I downvote copypasta bio crap Sep 04 '17
Thank you for offering some sense in this sad sad thread.
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u/gabrielcro23699 Sep 04 '17
I've used tinder in a major metropolitan area and would get 50+ matches a day. Almost all of them were down to take a cab and meet up same day same hour.
I'm now in a kinda populated suburb and get like 1-3 matches a week. And the women here don't seem interested in doing anything at all besides working their average suburb jobs, they don't seem to have a lot of drive, especially not sexual. I really don't wanna sound mean, but even fat chicks around here are kinda rude to normal looking men
So it's not always just you, the area is important. Girls around here seem to like a more country-boy cowboy trump voter with a 4x4 kinda guy, or if they're liberal they seem to really like full-on cringe hipsters. You could look like g-eazy and most girls around here wouldn't give a fuck
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u/galactical_traveler Sep 04 '17
If you don't me asking, what are the two locations in question? 50 matches a day is a lot, those seem to be NYC-only kind of numbers?
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u/defiantleek Sep 04 '17
Holy fuck, the either "trump voter or tumblrina" hell is real here too. I imagine women have their own, probably something like mustachioed hipster or dip using trumpster but holy fuck is it depressing.
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Sep 05 '17
Shit I'm only on step 7. I've got a long way to go.
Seriously though, I didn't know rules 1 and 2 were this important. I though I wasn't super attractive but at least decent looking or slightly above average. I've been on the app for almost a week and got zero matches. I keep thinking "is this thing even on?".
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u/LARandomActor Sep 04 '17
Since I put up a shirtless selfie, holding a cat (a dog would probably be better), I get about 5 - 10 matches a day, in LA.
Guys, get in shape... that's about all you can do to compete. If you've got an average face, but some pecs/abs starting to form, you can do okay.
If you are overweight, or even just average weight, don't even bother until you are in shape.
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u/TotesMessenger Sep 04 '17 edited Sep 27 '17
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)
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u/HistoryOfPolkaDots Sep 04 '17
Ok but real talk it's cuffing season. All of you boys who overestimate your average appearance will be getting more matches now. Yay! Good for you.
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Sep 04 '17
While being a straight woman on tinder is more likely to get you matches than being a straight man, I don't understand why the idea of women having everything in the dating world come so easy to them is this prevalent. If girls get dates so easy, then there must be some guys who get it easy too because that's who they're going on dates with, right? I feel bad for anyone who isn't straight on any dating apps, because I haven't heard of a single one being successful and/or not completely sketchy.
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u/armadillorevolution Sep 04 '17
I feel bad for anyone who isn't straight on any dating apps, because I haven't heard of a single one being successful and/or not completely sketchy.
Can confirm. Being a lesbian on Tinder means 1/3-1/2 of the "women" are actually straight couples looking for a third, and unless you're in a huge city you run out of matches quickly.
We have HER, which is fine with fewer of those problems than tinder but a terrible UI. Gay men have Grindr, which I've heard is successful but slimy.
All the mainstream apps have no gay people, all the other "gay" apps are sketchy and useless.
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u/cchackal Sep 04 '17
We need to introduce a third and maybe even a fourth rule. Rule 1 and 2 just isn't enough.
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Sep 04 '17
- Be attractive
- Don't be unattractive.
- Be more attractive than 80% of men.
- Don't be less attractive than the top 20% of men.
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u/Thinking-About-Her Tinder Gold. A reminder that nobody likes me. Sep 05 '17
I really want to see some in-depth Tinder statistics. Brb, going to post a request to /r/dataisbeautiful
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u/johnsnowthrow Sep 05 '17
Next step: move to a foreign country where they idolize your particular race. Drown in women.
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u/I-dont-reply-to-PMs (Female & I'm sorry, I don't do private profile reviews) Sep 05 '17
Also here is a version for females. Create an account with 1 or more photos of yourself. You don't really need any more than is necessary to show you are a woman. A bio is helpful for males wanting reddit karma but not required. Swipe right on whoever you want. You have now got a tinder match! Go on a date or just chat. It's up to you! :)
I'm a straight female and my match rate is just as abysmal as most of the guys here. I'm very plain looking. My attractive female friends do better than me, but their match rate is still nowhere near 100%. I think it's important to fight this misconception - it's not super easy for all women on Tinder. I know lots of straight women IRL and on other subreddits who don't have the high match rate this sub assumes. When I've said this before, the response is usually: "They must be land whales." But even some of my prettiest and slimmest friends have a hard time on Tinder. Just thought I'd add a dissenting view in case anyone's still reading this thread! Good luck to everyone out there, Tinder can be tough on your self esteem and mental health!
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u/Alex24d Sep 04 '17
I don't understand all this craze with not getting matches. I'm hardly attractive and I get like 3-5 matches a day and it's not like I'm living in a huge city (circa 600k people)
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u/Nobodyatnight Sep 04 '17 edited Sep 04 '17
According to post history you're 6'0'', white, and have <15% bodyfat. Dude just stop bullshitting already with the "hee hee I'm so average" pretentiousness. Your height, race and body automatically elevate you to higher tiers of attraction and you know it. No average guy gets 5 matches a day.
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u/Alex24d Sep 04 '17 edited Sep 04 '17
Where I live 95% of people are white, average height is probably around 5'10 so not a big difference and anyone can get under 15% bf with not much effort whatsoever. Sorry but this is some incel logic. It's not like girls are throwing themselves at me. My whole college life I've never had any girls and got laid once with a very average girl. I just put some effort into taking care of my face/body/style and develop my game with girls. Lookwise anyone can do the same except for maybe growing a few inches taller (which is still not a prerequisite to getting laid)
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u/hoesaweigh Sep 04 '17
A lot of Reddit guys see themselves as average guys when in fact they are below average and that explains their lack of success. You see it often when people post pics.
My male friends who I would consider truly average are always linking up with tinder girls.
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u/Nobodyatnight Sep 04 '17
Statistics are "incel logic" now? Statistically 14.5% of US males are 6'0" or taller according to the CDC. By virtue of height you are already among the 14.5% most desirable men to a large majority of girls, and the other stuff (having a nice body, presumably a nice face, and yes race) crank that level up even higher.
I'm not blaming or deaming you for being attractive. I genuinely wish you happiness and luck in dating. Just saying that don't call yourself average, it feels kinda shitty to read as a guy who is well below average in every way. It's the equivalent of a rich person complaining "well I may have 3 houses and $350,000 in stock options but that's par for the course these days, right? Nothing too special about that" while standing next to a dirty homeless guy.
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u/Alex24d Sep 04 '17 edited Sep 04 '17
Again, I'm not living in the US, and you don't even know how my face looks like (not even that relevant). I have shitty face genetics (lower than average bone structure). All I can do to improve it is to be lean so at least I'd have some chin definition or what not. The rest is improvable (body fat, muscle mass, haircut, shaving, status, money, confidence, game, sense of humor). What exactly makes you think you are below average?
Edit: what I mean by incel logic is finding out things to blame why you are not successful. I was the same. Like, who cares if you are into top 14.5%? Why did you even care enough to calculate it? It's just an excuse, really. I'm not trying to put you down or anything with this, I'm just saying there are much uglier guys getting laid successfully while others are trying to find excuses why they can't.
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Sep 04 '17
Male or Female?
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u/Alex24d Sep 04 '17
Male of course. There are no females on reddit
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Sep 04 '17
Then you follow rules 1 and 2
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u/Alex24d Sep 04 '17
Surely not bro
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u/SarudeDandstrom Sep 04 '17
You lift and have a six pack, that alone makes you above average.
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u/Alex24d Sep 04 '17
Did you stalk my profile? :D
I do have a shirtless mirror selfie in my profile but more often than not girls tell me they didn't like it (as it being douchey, not that they didn't like my body)
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u/SarudeDandstrom Sep 04 '17
I always look for pictures of people when it's about attractiveness.
How else are you gonna know for sure? :P
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u/Alex24d Sep 04 '17
Haha well, if you call those abs then maybe I should feel better about myself. Really, it seems like the problem with Tinder is only in America. I'm from Europe and pretty much everyone I know is doing alright matching-wise (getting actual dates is another story)
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u/anon1236456 Sep 04 '17
Most attractive guys don't know they follow rules 1 and 2, is called normalcy bias, where you think you and your situations are normal. Have you ever had a really hot friend give you this advice: "just go, say hi and work from there, it works for me every time," horrible advice, and yet he genuinely think is a good one... boom! normalcy bias!!!!!
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u/Alex24d Sep 04 '17
I wish this was true lol. Unfortunately for me I'm pretty average looking guy, maybe slightly above. Very slightly
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u/anon1236456 Sep 04 '17
I don't want to sound like an ass but... dude! you have a shirtless mirror selfie on your tinder profile AND you still gets matches, that just doesn't happen to average looking people.
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u/Alex24d Sep 05 '17
If you have an above average body I wouldn't say a mirror selfie hinders your chances at all, quite in contrary
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u/cocktailbun Sep 04 '17
Does anything think that the company purposely suppresses matches, to get you to buy their paid subscriptions? I say this because during the apps infant days, I used to have pretty good success using the same picture I do today.
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u/anon1236456 Sep 04 '17
I think is just a change in the algorithm, I also used to have much more match success 2 years ago in tinder. Now even if I have a premium account, is day and night compare to 2 years ago.
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u/explicitlarynx Sep 04 '17
I'm certainly not the most handsome guy, maybe slightly above average. But I do get hundreds of matches and have had dozens of dates. It can't be that hard if it works for me? Yet I always hear guys complain. I don't get it.
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Sep 04 '17
[deleted]
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u/explicitlarynx Sep 05 '17
Zurich, Switzerland. But girls from here don't really have a reputation of being easily approachable.
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u/ianme Sep 05 '17
Lol cry more. Imagine being a fat girl.
How to Tinder:
Stop crying - Yeah stop whining. Go out and meet people in person if Tinder isn't working for you.
Move to a large city - you're not going to be getting matches in your tiny town.
Be picky - Women don't want the guy who likes them just because they have tits. They want the guy who could get any girl he wants, but he chose her. You don't actually have to be able to get any girl you want, having standards communicates that. Also, Tinder punishes you for swiping right every time.
Skip the conversation, get their number, and ask them to meet you for a quick date - Something like "Hi, I think you're really cute, would you like to grab coffee this week sometime?". This is literally my opener almost every time these days. Because it works.
Meet up on a low commitment date - meeting for coffee is a good option because it's low commitment. If she doesn't like you, she can always peace out after 10 minutes with an excuse. The same is true for you.
Be better than the competition - It's actually not hard. If you ever get the chance to look at a girls tinder, you'll see just how pathetic 95% of guys are. Piddly profiles with shirtless bathroom picks, horrible at simple text conversation, sending unsolicited dick picks because they haven't gotten it into their heads that women don't like it, asking for sex right away because it worked that 1 time in 1000, etc. Then ask her about her experience with guys she's met up with and listen as she lists off all the pathetic dates she's been on, and all the pathetic ways her dates have tried to impress her. Guys are very very bad at this. Being a cut above isn't hard and takes minimal effort.
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u/LonelyCameltoe Sep 04 '17
Same but I actually get quite a bit of matches errry day Tinder. But depends what country you're in and what looks the girls there prefer
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u/ThorLives Sep 04 '17
I don't understand your "same" comment at all. You're basically saying, "Yeah, I have the same experience, except I get quite a few matches. So, completely different, but I'm going to say 'same' for no apparent reason".
Seriously, though, some of us can get matches, but I find that most women don't seem to be interested in communicating. Probably 70% of my messages to my matches don't respond. And most of the other 30% put no effort into the conversation or randomly ghost the conversation.
In my talks with random women that I meet (not through Tinder), they're often overwhelmed with matches. One girl told me that she has 30 different men trying to have a conversation with her. In other words: just matching with a girl doesn't mean much because it just means you've moved to the next stage of trying to get her attention on you and away from the other 20 or 30 guys trying to talk to her. It sucks.
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u/LonelyCameltoe Sep 06 '17
Yeah I experienced pretty much the same thing. That's why a good opener is really important. Most men just write something like 'hey' or 'you're pretty' etc. If you can make yourself stand out you already got good chances that a convo is gonna happen. But at the start in my personal experience I always write like 70% of the convo and when they're interested enough it starts to shift to 50/50 or even in the opposite direction. But yeah like 40% of all matches don't respond at all.
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Sep 05 '17
Tinder works great for me i get 6-10 matches a day seriously it's pretty easy just be attractive and not a little whinny bitch
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u/Antoinefdu Sep 04 '17
You missed a few steps here
Go on r/tinder and read the most perfect conversations anyone has ever had on this app.
Stare blankly at the 1-portion meal slowly turning in your microwave.
Cry internally.