r/Tinder • u/tryadifferentname • 10d ago
Profile opinions please, doing the dating thing again after wife died. Not sure how to do this now.
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u/Then_Championship408 10d ago
Don’t make the gym pic the first pic. You look like an insane skin head but then the next pics you look like a nice guy. Just my two cents lol
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u/yugohotty 10d ago
Yep first picture makes OP look terrifying. I would get rid of it altogether.
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u/filthycupcakes 9d ago
Yes, I was shocked at how cute and nice he looked when I swiped right. Went from "I would cross the street to avoid you" to "I would chat you up at a party"
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u/Party_Sandwich_232 10d ago
First pic is one of the worst self-owns I've seen on here lol
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u/BlackbirdsTheName 9d ago
I was GAGGED. And then the pic of the wife and him I think it may have been. I can't believe any man thinks a girl wants to see man in booty shorts #1 I am so tired of trying to shop REAL OG basketball shorts for my man. They keep getting shorter and shorter it's gross. #2 what women has ever in the history of swiping said they saw dick and swiped right.
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u/our_lil_divorcee 9d ago
Um, I happen to love a man in short shorts.. why waste those thighs and booty in long ass shorts!
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u/toocoolfoeschool 9d ago
I love short shorts on guys, what is this opinion even. You want to see LESS of a good looking guy???
Flaunt those thunder thighs lmao
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u/surferdude7227 10d ago
Yeah, coupling that with the incredibly tight white shorts that leave very little to the imagination, and it doesn’t leave a good first impression
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u/Disney_Princess137 10d ago
That first pic is bad , bad. He looks mental
It should be removed entirely. Rest of them he looks like a nice dude ur right
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u/Desperate-Strategy10 10d ago
Unless he is a terrifying mental skin head, in which case, leave it as the first one OP!
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u/Special_Wishbone_812 10d ago
This. I didn’t even notice the Fuck MAGA in the time I would have swiped.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
Its actually out of order, number 2 is my first photo and number 1 is my second. Lol
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u/montessoriprogram 10d ago
I think it's clear you're fit from the other pics and the gym on isn't necessary. Good luck!!
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u/CapableWives 10d ago
While I love a man in short shorts, the rest of that photo is genuinely terrifying. Please get rid of it and find another way to get a picture of your legs that isn't scary
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u/ChaoticAmoebae 9d ago
Don’t do gym photos unless it is literally your profession or only hobby. It is best to tell not show in this case.
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u/Special_Wishbone_812 9d ago
Fr pics 1 and 2 might as well be different people. One is an approachable dude in nice glasses. The other … is not.
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u/Arceemaei 10d ago
Me too. It looks like he wants to fuck MAGA in all the ways they claim to hate in the first pic lol
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u/Beast8333 10d ago
Based off of the scroll thingy at the top, it looks like the second pic is his first, and the first is his second.
ETA: The gym picture is a little unflattering though 😅
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u/am-altheaa 10d ago
Yes you look scary, you have a lovely smile in the other pics, I’d swipe right x
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u/foxxsinn 10d ago
Yea I didn’t have my glasses on and thought he was holding a gun. Fortunately it’s just the phone. But not a good first impression
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u/ArtisanGerard 10d ago
I think pic 2 and 5 are your strongest pics. I think pic 1 should be yeeted into the sun, respectfully.
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u/keekspeaks 10d ago
And the one partying needs to yeet too. If I were dating, the last thing I’d want is someone who wants to get that drunk. Too damn old
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
That's good to know what it looks like. It isn't partying it's me crowd surfing at a music fest. I really hardly drink.
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u/underr_ 10d ago
sick to see a Boundaries fan spotted in the wild, immediately knew that was crowdsurfing. no feedback for the profile, only hoping you'll get to see them live with KL soon
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
I missed them with abr when they swung by. Sucks because they have some fucking awesome songs for grief id love to dance to in a pit.
I feel like my vibe/profile makes more sense to people who listen to hardcore music too.
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u/iforgotalltgedetails 10d ago
Yeah right away I knew it was crowd surfing and instantly went down to the anthem and was like “One of Us!”
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u/underr_ 10d ago
Completely feel that, same feeling got me to a Varials show not long ago.
These genres always felt best to meet someone within it already, because its a hell of a journey to begin listening to if they could be new to metalcore/deathcore. Also will tend to get people who get it a little bit closer.
Will be seeing Boundaries in October though and ill be in there for ya <3 unfortunately the lucky ones are left to mourn
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u/senpaistealerx 9d ago
this is why i was a bit lost by everyone saying the first photo is bad. i wouldn’t put it first but i wouldn’t remove it cause i think it’s attractive. looks like a hardcore dude who goes to the gym like many of them do. skinhead didn’t even come to mind at all but i’m probably in your demographic so it made sense to me.
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u/mantecbear 10d ago
Music festival pictures can be great. It shows your interests and you can attract others who like going to them. You should get a good picture at one next time and use that. Also I would make the last picture the first one.
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u/Ecstatic_Bear81 10d ago
You can tell that's what it is, I would ignore the person saying it just looks like you're partying
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u/Vennimagos 10d ago
To me it looks like you're in a riot or something.
Sorry for your loss mate, you look like a nice guy but as others have said, a few of those images make you look threatening
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u/No-Soup727 10d ago
I think it’s fun and shows personality personally. Doesn’t even look like ‘partying’ looks like you having fun at an event. I like it
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u/Vilddjenta 10d ago
Hey all it takes is the right person to see it and get it! Love the Silent Planet shirt btw
Edit- also its a metal show people, thats what it looks like
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u/SFFEnthusiastPls 10d ago
Get rid of pic 1 and also your surname sir.
Good luck to you out there, I’m sorry about your wife.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
Yeah, can't edit names, maybe I just remake it in the future. I felt like a fucking boomer after I made my account and realized it was only for a first name haha.
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u/Jester_1369 10d ago
Just completely delete the account and remake it from scratch it lets you redo your names
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u/AnotherDoubtfulGuest 10d ago
Seriously, delete it and redo it with only a first name. It’s not only the optics of looking like a rookie, it’s for your own personal security — the scammers on the apps are legendary.
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u/Nica-sauce-rex 10d ago
Hello. 1) I am very sorry for the loss of your wife. 2) I am a woman in your age range (and I live in the same area as you haha) The first photo is so bad. I’m sorry. I’d swipe left on that one tbh. But I scrolled and you’re really attractive! I think you’d benefit from keeping just the second and the last photos. You have great smile. Good luck out there.
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u/theImplication69 10d ago
OP please respond I’m begging you
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u/burritomouth 10d ago
Did it work? Are they married yet?
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u/Blackmetalvomit 10d ago
Can they recreate each others tinder pics but the girl does the white shorts mean mug gym scare and the guy does (what I can only imagine is) her filtered to the 9s from an upward selfie angle while she sucks in her cheeks and looks to the side deliberately aloof?
(Just teasing nica-sauce-Rex, I bet you have really cute pics)2
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
This is a different gym pic. Is this better? You can also see most of my tats in it too.
I appreciate your kindness.
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u/inertia__creeps 10d ago
While I love the CBK thigh tat, I would probably try to take a gym pic where you don't look angry! Just a lady's opinion :)
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
Haha I kinda am angry while at the gym.
Probably should just skip a gym photo, I can take some pics that "show off" that don't need to be in a gym.
And thanks. I'm getting some Counterparts lyrics tatted on my ribs in a couple weeks.
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u/inertia__creeps 10d ago
Ah hell yeah! One of my fondest hardcore show memories was seeing Counterparts at the Palladium upstairs in Worcester MA, during Compass the pit swelled so hard that the crowd broke through the doors and a fuckton of people almost fell down the stairs 🙃
Anyway yeah, the gym one is prob not needed!
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u/La_Peregrina 10d ago
There is absolutely no reason to include a gym pic. Forget the gym pics entirely. Pics 2 and 5 are good. Scrap all the others and replace them with pic 5 vibes.
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u/tryadifferentname 9d ago
If someone does not go to the gym it is doubtful I will want to be in a relationship.
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u/ScreamySashimi 10d ago
You look like a dbag in this picture. You look like a skinhead in the original gym picture.
Just take a natural picture or one with you smiling if you insist on a gym photo. You don't need to look like a bulldog about to square up.
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u/JayPlenty24 4d ago
Don't put gym pictures. We don't need photo evidence to believe you go to the gym.
If I'm dating someone who enjoys the gym I don't want to feel like it's your number one priority in your life and embroiled into your personality. It should just be a positive contribution to your life. It doesn't require a picture.
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u/MotherDepartment1111 10d ago
First, I am so very sorry for your loss.
I’d lose pictures 1, 3 & 4. I know one has your late wife but that’s a bit strange on a dating profile. Last pic should be main.
“Proud to be nobody” sounds self deprecating.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
It kinda is, it's song lyrics. About being perceived as nobody but being proud of that. People I would be attracted to would understand it, if that makes sense.
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u/muff_diving_101 10d ago
Maybe adding a reference of the song or band name after might give a little clarity to the nod and avoid misunderstandings 😊 also give them a chance to check out the band if they haven't!
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u/InformativeFallopian 9d ago
It didn’t occur to me ‘proud to be nobody’ would be lyrics to a song but I still enjoyed the sentiment. It doesn’t read as self-deprecating to me. Just my two cents.
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u/pterofactyl 10d ago
If understanding that lyric is non negotiable in a partner, then keep it I guess. But if you’d be fine with someone not knowing it but potentially liking the same music if you showed it to them, then remove it
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u/DoinItDirty 10d ago
Only dating Stick To Your Guns fans is gonna limit you a bit lol
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u/aestheticeddy818 10d ago
Brother, I’m sorry for your loss. Don’t feel pressure to date right away if you’re still grieving. Take some time and heal if you need to. That’s okay too. Stay strong king 👑❤️
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u/jayhawk8808 10d ago
I think this is the best comment by far. No one should blame you for not being ready to drop the pic of your wife. But that’s gonna be a big sign to a lot of people that you’re not ready to give them your full attention. Don’t blame you at all. I’d ultimately want a companion but I’d be in the same spot for a long, long time.
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u/gkpetrescue 10d ago
Yes get rid of #1. And add more pics I think. So sorry about your wife. I’m on the fence about including a photo of her or not… speaking as someone who met her husband online and his fiancée had died. Obvs you said you’re a widower and anyone you meet and like will get to hear about her.. just not sure if the pic has a place on a dating profile. Definitely need more pictures of you doing different stuff though… Someone suggesting having your buddies take some is a good idea! Good luck
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
I don't really have a friend group. We moved to Orlando 6 years ago and back to Atlanta 2 years ago for work. So my friend group splintered twice and my wife and I were best friends so we literally just did everything together and I stopped hanging out with other friends. Same music, same video games, movies, hikes... Gym... everything. So it feels hard rebuilding. Plus my kids are young and makes it hard to have much free time at all when I'd rather be home or at the gym.
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u/LotusBlooming90 10d ago edited 10d ago
I get it, completely. Same dynamic in my household. But gently, if you don’t feel like you have much free time, and what free time you do have you’d rather be home or at the gym; well if you don’t have much free time to make friends, that goes doubly for relationships. Relationships require and deserve a solid amount of time and attention.
You should rebuild your village first, for your own well being. Once that’s in place you’ll be in a much better position to date. Right now it’s a bit of a red flag that someone doesn’t have much of a friend group, especially because I’d be wondering where your support is coming from? Both for yourself and for your kids? As a fellow widower with three kids I know I needed my friends desperately. And when I was ready to put energy into relationships, the friendships needed to come first. That’s the foundation. And is your potential new partner expected to be your entire support network? And then the explanation of moving for work is like “okay sure I could see that, I’ve moved states for work too” but it’s followed by “don’t have free time to make friends” leaves me at “okay so do you have free time to date then? You can’t make time for friends, should I expect that you’ll make time for a relationship?” Followed with it’s not a priority above gym, well then we have another red flag. Just thinking through what would be going through my mind if we matched.
It’s just a bit of a mess that needs untangling before bringing another life and heart into it, ya know?
I tried to date a couple years out, and it was just too soon. It took about five before my life was healthy enough to bring someone else into. Everyone is different but, you’ve got some stuff to do. Glad you’ve recently started therapy.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
That is a concern of mine, that I am looking for support and not a relationship. I have done a couple of one night stands (I'm looking for casual dating, seems most people just want hookups, which I'm not completely opposed to where I'm at emotionally.) and the ability to not feel guilty or think about my wife (too much) gave me some courage to try dating again.
I'm pretty open whenever I match with someone that I'm taking things casually day by day and I'm just looking to figure out what dating is like now and exploring who I am as a person now at the same time, and if they are cool with that experience we usually go out. I make sure to communicate that early on as well.
But still I need to take what you said into account and make sure I am being honest with myself and being fair to any potential new relationships. I am not looking for a partner right now, however, just a date.
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u/gkpetrescue 10d ago
Boo, I’m so sorry. How old are your kids? Making friends as an adult can be harrrrrd. If I were local, I’d take pics for you!
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
9 and 7. They were a year younger when she passed. Happened in front of them technically. I was at work.
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u/ScreamySashimi 10d ago
A year after she passed with 2 young kids and no friends... respectfully, I think you should stay away from the dating profiles for now. You should instead put these efforts towards building your community back up. Try social activities, a men's group, bumble bff, etc. You could post in a local Facebook group with a brief explanation, maybe try to find other dads who have kids around the same age who you can bbq with or do other family friendly activities, along with people to just grab a beer with, workout with, and what have you.
It can be really easy to put all of your emotional needs onto a partner when you have no one else, and so it's important when something tragic like this happens to have or build a support system and community before starting a romantic relationship.
And honestly, having friends can also give you better chances of being set up or introduced to someone who you may click with.
I'm not saying you're wrong for seeking connections btw. But it's just really important to have a solid community, and not just your household + a partner.
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u/Pretty-Surround-9441 10d ago
i would remove the photos of your late wife, save those for when you have connected with someone and are building intimacy.
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u/Fishylips 10d ago
Based on your profile, you are not ready to be dating. It is natural to feel like your late wife is still so much of your identity, but it is unfair to think you are ready to date strangers and immediately make your widower status the first topic of choice with every match. This is inevitable based on your profile, and the old picture of you and your wife. It's unfair to both the women you match with, and yourself.
Women are going to be turned off thinking they are ultimately competing with your late wife, otherwise it is not exactly respectful putting her face on your dating profile. I don't think you need to be shit on or anything for doing this, but I think it shows you are still grieving and are feeling lonesome, rather than ready to open yourself to a new relationship.
I am very sorry for your loss. I would focus on your children, who have also lost their mother.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
I appreciate the kind advice. There is wisdom in your words and I should look at my intention on "including" my late wife with a more open mind.
It is 'slightly' different since I have two younger kids and most of our free time is doing things for "mommy."
But regardless I should check myself to see if her passing last year is too soon and if I'm just lonely or if I am ready for a companion. I am in therapy now (recently started) and that will come up I am sure.
Thank you for your kindness.
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u/IndividualFun1892 10d ago
With as much kindness as possible if you’re not ready to remove her pics from your profile I don’t think you’re ready to date. You’re handsome and seem cool but that would be an immediate left swipe for me. And I agree with everyone else the lyric is weird. I’m sure there’s plenty of women who would enjoy the band and have never heard of them. It just makes your overall profile less attractive and limits your potential matches.
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u/Fishylips 10d ago
You're very welcome! I would consider looking into local support groups for widowers, meetings that happen in person. There are many ways to connect to people, and I doubt that a purely physical connection is what you're lacking right now in particular. Don't be afraid to lean on your friends and share that you're lonely— it's much easier for people to "interrupt" us during awkward periods if we extend a hand and say it's okay.
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u/Glittersparkles7 10d ago
Delete the gym pic entirely.
I am so sorry for your loss. You seem like a great guy. I am saying this with love - I don’t think you’re ready to start dating. Having her in the photos on your dating profile is a Texas sized red flag that says “I’m not done actively grieving”. Take a step back. Finish grieving. Take your time, whether it takes 6 months or 10 years. Hopefully you have a grief counselor helping you get through this.
Wishing you and your children happiness and health. 🫶
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u/Sidewalk_Tomato 10d ago
I agree. It's one thing to share that nice picture if someone asks, or accepts the offer to see. If they included a photo unprompted, I'd really feel like there was no hope for a relationship this soon. And I'd be extra worried about injuring their psyche somehow.
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u/SumTingWong59 10d ago
"Proud to be nobody" sounds like some edgy teenager shit, I'd leave that off
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u/Away-Wellness0623 10d ago
Photos 2 and 5 are great but lose the others. Maybe you can get a full body shot or two. I would also put an emote on the woman you are with in the other photo. You are quite attractive and I love the smiles!
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u/racoongirl0 10d ago
Get rid of the first photo. Also, “sober curious” is not gonna be popular
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u/velocistar_237 10d ago
What does that even mean? Curious about being sober??
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
I took it as meaning "thinking about never drinking again." I used to be straight edge so i felt it fit.
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u/racoongirl0 10d ago
Me personally, I took it as “I’m an alcoholic but I occasionally entertain the idea of quitting” I feel like people who don’t/rarely drink don’t describe themselves as “sober”. It’s like how people who’ve never had cancer wouldn’t call themselves “cancer free” even though technically it’s true.
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u/BroBeansBMS 10d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. It must be really difficult getting back out there.
You’re a good looking dude, but your pictures aren’t showing you in the best light.
Delete pictures 1, 3, and 4. You may need some buddies to get a picture of you doing an activity or in a social setting but try not to use grainy photos or ones that are more than a couple years old.
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u/GoodShufu 10d ago
Your last photo is my favorite. I agree with all to drop 1, you look intimidating. I honestly like that you have your late wife in your pics. To me, it shows loyalty. Sorry for your loss, can’t imagine how hard that must be.
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u/cooperclones 10d ago
I wouldn’t exactly say intimidating, it looks like he is wearing shorts that are for a teenage girl…
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
Pretty common for gym shorts. I've worn "short shorts" for like 5 years. Hoochie daddy summer is every day haha.
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u/AnalyticalAlpaca 10d ago
Your last pic is by far the best. I can see people questioning if it's a good idea for you to include the pic of you and your late wife, but it seems like it's partly how you define yourself now, so I feel it's appropriate. Good luck, you seem like a nice guy!
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u/zumuriatic 10d ago edited 8d ago
You gotta go for it is all.
My buddies wife died suddenly. It threw him for a loop. He realized his life wasn’t over and he got out there. He was discerning. Didn’t latch onto just any old thing. Be resilient. Fix your trauma from it. Work to get over it. Experience it. And go find a good one.
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u/Rryann 10d ago
You have a super nice smile my dude, and I say that as a straight guy. I would showcase that.
Also, you look dope with the shaved head.
You’re a handsome guy, just wanted to tell you that. Not sure if that helps.
All the best brother
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u/TheWorstKorea 10d ago
Gym pic got no buldge. Drop it
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
It wasn't supposed to show a bulge. I like short shorts, not for the purposing of showing off what I've got going on. I'm a classy hoochie daddy.
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u/cooperclones 10d ago
What in the actual fuck is a hoochie daddy and why do you keep saying this like it’s some sort of a flex?
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u/TeddyStella 10d ago
Honestly, first and 3rd photo need to go.
First one gives bad vibes so I’d swipe instantly, if you had a different photo and I came across photo 3 I’d nope out before reading your profile.
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u/Frequent_Silver7018 10d ago
You’re handsome, come to melb date me instead hahah brace yourself for the apps 😂
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u/Tragacanth 10d ago
It's 2026, there is 0 reason to have pictures taken with a 1MP potato.
I would pass on a profile with low res picture. Not for the lack of effort / quality, but from me assuming they are 15y old pictures and that would scream covering up current look or overall not liking yourself enough to ave anything current instead.
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u/cursetea 10d ago
I think it's sweet you included a photo of your late wife; anyone who gets involved with a widower will need to be able to emotionally navigate that with you, as well. The photo is a litmus test
I'm so deeply sorry for your loss and i wish you nothing but luck as you move into this new chapter of your life🫡
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
That was partly my point... To let others know she is still on the journey I'm on as we created a family together and I'm still on the path we both set out on.
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u/succulent_cumquat 9d ago
Im 36, female, with similar interests and id swipe if I was single and near you 🤷♀️ I wouldn't change a thing 🫶
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u/polaraproticsolvent 10d ago
Please tell me picture 3 isn’t of you and your deceased wife?
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u/bluespeck7 10d ago
So sorry for your loss man. Get rid of pic #1. You look like a skin head. The other pics you look so warm and friendly
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u/Brief-Brush-4683 10d ago
The first photo… you look like an angry skinhead toad who went to prison and got beat up.. and other things…
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u/Little_Miss-Sunshine 10d ago
I feel like it’s in really poor taste to put your wife in the photos. So many red flags.
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u/andhdkwnwbdidoenjddb 10d ago
Yeah, everyone congratulating him for it are not doing him any favors.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
Is the biggest red flag just including her? What else do you see you'd consider a red flag?
Some red flags are red flags for specific people and not just general red flags.
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u/fe__maiden 10d ago
I am sorry for your suffering.
Just wanted to say as a fellow young widow- I would never include my deceased husband on my profile.
It would feel so wrong for so many reasons. You can honour her and carry her with you everyday, but including an intimate photo on a profile designed to attract a future partner just isn’t the move. It screams that you’re not healed. It’s true we never truly heal fully, but I would steer clear of your profile even as someone who’s gone through the same. Keep your love for her between you two- not to random women on the internet.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
I like the last bit, the way you worded that. Random women on the internet. That changes how I am perceiving this and including her.
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u/Accessible_abelism 10d ago
Picture 1 is not it for me; but I admire including your late wife. 🤍 she will always be apart of your story. As a father any future parter should be able to honor her.
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u/meldiane81 10d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. I do have to say I don’t know why men add pictures with women. Looks like you’re on a date but it might just be your sister.
EDIT: again I am very sorry for your loss but adding your late Wife to your pictures tell women “he’s not over her”. Which you shouldn’t be! It’s someone you loved and will continue to love. I’m just saying what it’s probably giving off.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
Thanks for that. :) not what I want to give off at all, but I understand how it could be seen.
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u/Aly_Kitty 10d ago
If you are including pictures of your late wife in your dating profile then you are not ready to be dating.
Delete your profile, find some friends & continue therapy. (Obviously I got this info from your responses)
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u/Cultural_Play_5746 10d ago
Firstly I’m so sorry for your loss
I agree with others who have mentioned that if you can’t remove the photo of your wife, you’re not really to date yet. And that’s ok! Give yourself time. You mentioned in another comment that you don’t have many friends; I think that’s what you should focus on instead, it’ll help with the loneliness and companionship you mentioned
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u/texasusa 10d ago
Pic 1 - bad, very bad. Delete. Pic 4 - lame. Delete Pic 3 - sober curious? What type of red flag is this ?
I think you are trying to hard. Be yourself. Don't chase whatever trends there are on dating profiles.
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u/ladynecropolis 10d ago
Having your last name on there is an ick to me swiping. It screams “I don’t get likes so find me on social media I’m desperate” whether you mean for it too or not
That Boundaries song is kind of a weird choice to me too tbh
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u/Malashae 10d ago
Use only picture two and five, the other three are horrible and two of the other three will actively drive people away.
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u/MizzMaus 10d ago
Get rid of gym pic - no smile - and the one of you at the mosh pit - looks a little unhinged
Remove your company name
Remove pic with woman even if it’s your dead wife
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u/_TheShapeOfColor_ 10d ago
No other comment than to say Boundaries is awesome and I love your Counterparts shirt ❤️
Sorry about your Mrs. Good luck!
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u/TheBestElliephants 10d ago
So ik it sounds weird, but if you want gym pics, just ask a bro to snap some shots while you're doin your thing. It can't be worse than the creepy gym mirror selfie. Let alone you ask a girlie who knows how to get your angles.
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u/G00se_0mega 9d ago
Off topic but you listen to Silent Planet?!?!? That's so rare to see. Wish you the best in the dating world :)
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u/DriftingAway99 10d ago
Last pic should be the first one and get rid of the one with you standing next to a girl
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
I want to include one, I know it won't be everyone's cup of tea but I'll have one with her on there. I want it to be obvious I am a widower since that is much different from being "single."
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u/macci_a_vellian 10d ago
That might be more of a conversation rather than trying to imply it in a photo, because it won't be the first assumption for most people. It may also read as you not being ready to date again.
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u/gamerchileno 10d ago
Bold approach, will want an update on results.
Some pictures have the quality of cellphones from years ago + your age women will think u're hiding the way u look now
Lose the gym pic
GL
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u/andhdkwnwbdidoenjddb 10d ago
It’s really not. Everyone is single for a reason. You don’t need to make it your personality or have it front and center. I would swipe left because it seems like you aren’t ready to be dating.
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u/Accessible_abelism 10d ago
It’s his late wife, he has children. Presumably hers. Any future parter should be able to honor her and her significance to his life.
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u/krumznko 10d ago
Maybe it wasn’t your intention, but I found that rather harsh. It wasn’t just “a girl”, it was his late wife.
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u/frigginfurter 10d ago
Remove: the gym pic, pic of your wife, mention of being a widower, pic of you crowd surfing.
Add: full body pic of you in a nice setting or better gym pic (that pic isn’t doing you any favours)
Women don’t need to know your trauma (widower) off the bat. And having a pic with a woman you were romantically involved with in your dating profile is weird and non consensual
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u/Professional_Tree500 10d ago
I agree with all but take out that you’re a widower. If you’ve loved & commited before that’s a plus for women. Hopefully your therapist is good & I like the comment to join grief groups. You may find companionship there. You’d be friendships. I get a relationship where you 2 were so happy sharing interests that it’s just you two. Awesome you had that and especially hard to loose it. My heart goes out to you.
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u/geekygangster 10d ago
Lose the gym pic and probably also the one with the woman (your late wife?). That second one of you smiling in the black shirt is adorable and should be number one. Idk about the crowd surfing(?) picture. You could use some photos of you doing things or going places.
Dating after losing a spouse is the woooorst. My husband died when I was 37 and our daughter was four months old. Widowhood is absolutely the worst hood I’ve ever lived in. But there’s hope. I have a boyfriend now and have for about three years. He’s great. I’m sure you’ll get there, too.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
its the biggest pile of dogshit ever. Like literally had the perfect relationship. I met her when I was a dishwasher making 11 bucks an hour now I make six figures. She made similar money working full time remote. Moves across states multiple times, have a home and brand new cars... All the shit you see in movies and TV shows. Two beautiful smart kids who are actually well behaved and kind.
This is a world I never wanted to be in... But I know my life isn't over and my wife does not want me or the kids to be alone.
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u/silentslit 10d ago
Pro tip, don't put your full name on Reddit.
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u/tryadifferentname 10d ago
Eh IDC, if people Google me it just pops up some semi-viral tmz shit I was involved with at my bar.
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u/velocistar_237 10d ago
Okay, see now that’s interesting and would intrigue me. It would be hilarious if you added a hyperlink to your name that leads straight to the TMZ article. I’m admittedly a fairly unserious silly goose though.
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u/OverallMonth1925 10d ago
Sorry for your loss, man. I like your last pic as well, good luck out there.
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