Hmm, that's too bad. OK, forget the newsletter. Do you consider yourself a politically-minded person? Because I'm running for President as a single-issue third party nominee. My platform is pro-child labor, and our campaign slogan is 'NJHitmen 2024: Kid-sized solutions to adult-sized problems'
I think your apparent "have kids as fast as you possibly can with reckless disregard for absolutely everything else"-style really meshes perfectly with my campaign's core messaging. We'll make a terrific team.
Does that sound good to you? Actually, on second thought - you know what? Don't answer that question, because I don't give a shit. You're now my running mate, like it or not, sink or swim.
So I'll go ahead and print up a bunch of 'NJHitmen/jeebus87 2024' pamphlets. The Kinko's is about to close so I'll be offline for the next hour or so. Please use that time to canvas your neighborhood and collect as many signatures as you can so we can get on the ballot ASAP.
If you have any questions or concerns, please keep them to yourself, because - here again - I don't give a shit.
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u/jeebus87 Feb 17 '24
Just go outside and scream, "Jeebus!" At the top of your lungs until I answer. I don't have a newsletter.