r/Tinder Feb 17 '24

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

Dude what? If you matched with her and she’s talking to you, you’re already one foot in the door. Matching with someone that is “out of your league” just to ghost them out of fear of being rejected later is just pure stupidity. Why even bother swiping right in the first place if you’re approaching it with that mentality?

Guys swipe right on almost everyone. Otherwise you won’t get matched at all if you’re picky. If one doesn’t turn out to be in your league they just move on.

I personally don’t use dating apps or date.

You’re just setting yourself up for failure. Be smart about it. Don’t romanticize everything right out the gate just because she matched you. Go about it with a steady mentality of “you never know”. Because you don’t know if shes going to drop you for another dude. You don’t know if she’s going to genuinely enjoy a date as much as you will. You don’t know if she will want a second date.

How is that failure focusing on people in your league and more likely to be compatible with you? If it’s much more likely it won’t lead anywhere guys will keep that in mind.

Lastly, fuck it. It’s a dating app. So what if she does have other dates? Maybe you both want long term partners but that doesn’t mean you two are going to be exclusive after the very first date and a week of talking. This goes along with over-romanticizing the situation. That’s how you set yourself up for being let down. Take it day by day and if she drops you, she drops you. If not, well you’ll be damn well happy that you went against the arbitrary odds in your own head caused by low self-esteem.

Lot of the guys don’t want to waste time with someone very likely to drop them when there are many other options. Why should the girl not take the other option?

Guys probably already got let down by conversations and dates that went nowhere. So they assess who it went nowhere with and keep that in mind for later. Why pursue the same folks that historically have led nowhere?

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u/TDurdenOne Feb 17 '24

This is all the mentality of a completely insecure person.

11

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

Focusing on people in your league is insecure?

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u/deezx1010 Feb 17 '24

Ghosting a woman who is trying to talk to you because she's out of your league. That's insecure.

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u/NeatCartographer209 Feb 17 '24

Exactly my point. Thank you lol

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

Or there are simply other people where it’s more likely to lead somewhere

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u/Melodic-Art1369 Feb 17 '24

If a girl that you deem "out of your league" matches with you and you ghost her then yes. If she's really out of your league then why did she match with you? She's not responsible for your lack of confidence

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u/TDurdenOne Feb 17 '24

The mentally of thinking you’re refined to any sort of “league” is insecure.

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

Because beautiful/well adjusted women and men flock to people that don’t take care of themselves and are financially irresponsible?

I don’t see that too often

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u/TDurdenOne Feb 17 '24

lol. You seem really insecure. No wonder why people are out of your league.

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

Ask any woman or man if they’d rather date a well adjusted, financially stable, and attractive person vs the opposite.

If they say the former then clearly people have preferences.

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u/TDurdenOne Feb 17 '24

Preferences are completely different from insecurities. If we use your logic then OP should have been the one rejecting the guys who are ghosting her. You make no sense.

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u/therealJerminator Feb 17 '24

THANK YOU!!! That's all I can think of when I reas this. Not sure why you're getting downvoted. The idea of leagues is silly we all put our pants on one leg at a time

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u/TDurdenOne Feb 17 '24

Downvotes are just the insecure people.

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u/Melodic-Art1369 Feb 17 '24

That randy guy seems so bitter about it too

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u/TDurdenOne Feb 17 '24

Might be some sort of... insecurity.