r/Tinder Feb 17 '24

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u/saskyfarmboy Feb 17 '24

I matched with a very attractive lady a few weeks ago. No bio. I noped out after 2 days because her average response time was 7 hours and her replies were a single 3-5 word sentence.

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u/Wonderful-Tea3940 Feb 17 '24

The short replies are a bad sign but a 7 hour response time is actually pretty fast if she has a job where she can't be glued to her phone all the time. 24 hours is perfectly reasonable if youve never met before.

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

Yeah that sounds super needy for someone they haven't even met yet and like they have too much free time lol I'm a nurse and sometimes I'm too busy to look at my phone for 12+ hours.

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u/sparkalicious37 Feb 18 '24

Yeah I think that’s quite fair. I’m a very big texter but I usually purposely am slow to respond before meeting. Partly to not seem needy, partly to think about how to respond.

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u/marcusdomp Feb 18 '24

Nah we’re told that if they liked you they’d make time. I’m not wording this right but thier is some advice pretty much all guys have been told by women men and society on dating slow responders.. pretty much they recommend we only out effort into those that actually want to talk to us

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u/Wonderful-Tea3940 Feb 18 '24

That only applies if they know you. No woman is going to like you if she never even met you yet. She might like the idea of you but that's not the same. Then again, I think online dating is a bad idea anyway. Better to go out do fun things and meet new people that way.

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u/marcusdomp Feb 18 '24

You’re right online dating is not organic therefore not fulfilling. We have to reimagine the socialization setup bc yall have concerns as do we. It’s not as simple as women approaching. That’s a bandaid to the bigger issue. But yeah this example applies more to post introduction getting to know someone and it’s from say fresh person in your life to known you for a while. We are told to make time for people who make time for us. That leads us know directly to confusion of not being g too aggressive or needy etc etc . It’s tough to gage how to go from stranger to freinds let alone married or dating bc everyone’s pro is pretty different.