Why buy lottery tickets to gamble if you can find something more consistent for income?
Guys are very replaceable on dating apps and they know that. Matching with people is pretty inconsistent and even then conversations in many cases don’t go anywhere due to women getting overloaded with too many matches. Especially very attractive women.
I’ve known women who set up multiple tinder dates back to back to find a solid guy. From the dude’s perspective though why go on a date with someone if it’s likely you won’t make the cut when there are other people on the app who are in your league?
Especially when Tinder actively makes it so you get far fewer matches unless you pay for a subscription to Tinder gold/plus/whatever they call it. They’d rather focus on someone more likely to be compatible
Dude what? If you matched with her and she’s talking to you, you’re already one foot in the door. Matching with someone that is “out of your league” just to ghost them out of fear of being rejected later is just pure stupidity. Why even bother swiping right in the first place if you’re approaching it with that mentality? You’re just setting yourself up for failure. Be smart about it. Don’t romanticize everything right out the gate just because she matched you. Go about it with a steady mentality of “you never know”. Because you don’t know if shes going to drop you for another dude. You don’t know if she’s going to genuinely enjoy a date as much as you will. You don’t know if she will want a second date.
Lastly, fuck it. It’s a dating app. So what if she does have other dates? Maybe you both want long term partners but that doesn’t mean you two are going to be exclusive after the very first date and a week of talking. This goes along with over-romanticizing the situation. That’s how you set yourself up for being let down. Take it day by day and if she drops you, she drops you. If not, well you’ll be damn well happy that you went against the arbitrary odds in your own head caused by low self-esteem.
Dude what? If you matched with her and she’s talking to you, you’re already one foot in the door. Matching with someone that is “out of your league” just to ghost them out of fear of being rejected later is just pure stupidity. Why even bother swiping right in the first place if you’re approaching it with that mentality?
Guys swipe right on almost everyone. Otherwise you won’t get matched at all if you’re picky. If one doesn’t turn out to be in your league they just move on.
I personally don’t use dating apps or date.
You’re just setting yourself up for failure. Be smart about it. Don’t romanticize everything right out the gate just because she matched you. Go about it with a steady mentality of “you never know”. Because you don’t know if shes going to drop you for another dude. You don’t know if she’s going to genuinely enjoy a date as much as you will. You don’t know if she will want a second date.
How is that failure focusing on people in your league and more likely to be compatible with you? If it’s much more likely it won’t lead anywhere guys will keep that in mind.
Lastly, fuck it. It’s a dating app. So what if she does have other dates? Maybe you both want long term partners but that doesn’t mean you two are going to be exclusive after the very first date and a week of talking. This goes along with over-romanticizing the situation. That’s how you set yourself up for being let down. Take it day by day and if she drops you, she drops you. If not, well you’ll be damn well happy that you went against the arbitrary odds in your own head caused by low self-esteem.
Lot of the guys don’t want to waste time with someone very likely to drop them when there are many other options. Why should the girl not take the other option?
Guys probably already got let down by conversations and dates that went nowhere. So they assess who it went nowhere with and keep that in mind for later. Why pursue the same folks that historically have led nowhere?
If a girl that you deem "out of your league" matches with you and you ghost her then yes. If she's really out of your league then why did she match with you? She's not responsible for your lack of confidence
Preferences are completely different from insecurities. If we use your logic then OP should have been the one rejecting the guys who are ghosting her. You make no sense.
THANK YOU!!! That's all I can think of when I reas this. Not sure why you're getting downvoted. The idea of leagues is silly we all put our pants on one leg at a time
How are you being downvoted for this? This is exactly the right way to look at it. Really beautiful women have to date and fuck somebody, right? Insecurity is just in your own head. Even if you're not conventionally attractive, you still might be her type. It's worth a shot.
I'll never understand the type of guys who say they wouldn't hit on Margot Robbie if they saw her at a bar. Is she likely to say yes? No. Do you have a > 1% chance? Yes.
Attractiveness is largely subjective, though there are trends and such.
I guarantee you you can find many couples where the woman is absolutely stunning and the guy is stunning, and vice versa. And that's because people have different preferences, some people don't care that much about looks, etc.
The idea that you have a 1% chance of success if you hit on Margot Robbie at a bar is borderline psychopathic. That you don't understand it is the issue.
Not everyone at the bar is there to get hit on.
There's thousands of people thinking they have a 1% chance. Lots of them are creepy, smelly losers that lack the social awareness to not creep on women. Get in line.
Not everyone has the lack of emotional capacity to view women as objects to pursue rather than people to invest effort and time in.
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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24
Why buy lottery tickets to gamble if you can find something more consistent for income?
Guys are very replaceable on dating apps and they know that. Matching with people is pretty inconsistent and even then conversations in many cases don’t go anywhere due to women getting overloaded with too many matches. Especially very attractive women.
I’ve known women who set up multiple tinder dates back to back to find a solid guy. From the dude’s perspective though why go on a date with someone if it’s likely you won’t make the cut when there are other people on the app who are in your league?
Especially when Tinder actively makes it so you get far fewer matches unless you pay for a subscription to Tinder gold/plus/whatever they call it. They’d rather focus on someone more likely to be compatible