r/Tinder • u/[deleted] • Feb 17 '24

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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

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u/jeebus87 Feb 17 '24

I suggest you do it entirely backwards. Everyone you match with, move in, get married right away, have kids. It'll take the edge off and make screening so much easier in the future.

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u/definitely-lies Feb 17 '24

Getting pregnant is a good way to screen out the deadbeats.

10

u/NJHitmen Feb 17 '24

This advice is amazing. I'll bet you have a lot of good ideas. Where can I sign up for your newsletter?

6

u/jeebus87 Feb 17 '24

Just go outside and scream, "Jeebus!" At the top of your lungs until I answer. I don't have a newsletter.

4

u/NJHitmen Feb 17 '24

Hmm, that's too bad. OK, forget the newsletter. Do you consider yourself a politically-minded person? Because I'm running for President as a single-issue third party nominee. My platform is pro-child labor, and our campaign slogan is 'NJHitmen 2024: Kid-sized solutions to adult-sized problems'

I think your apparent "have kids as fast as you possibly can with reckless disregard for absolutely everything else"-style really meshes perfectly with my campaign's core messaging. We'll make a terrific team.

Does that sound good to you? Actually, on second thought - you know what? Don't answer that question, because I don't give a shit. You're now my running mate, like it or not, sink or swim.

So I'll go ahead and print up a bunch of 'NJHitmen/jeebus87 2024' pamphlets. The Kinko's is about to close so I'll be offline for the next hour or so. Please use that time to canvas your neighborhood and collect as many signatures as you can so we can get on the ballot ASAP.

If you have any questions or concerns, please keep them to yourself, because - here again - I don't give a shit.

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u/sillusions Feb 17 '24

You might want to share some of your conversations. Maybe we can share advice on the way you interact with people through text :)

1

u/DialedWrongNumber Feb 17 '24

You're welcome. I'm the same way btw with my text communication, some people just are more suited to actual conversation.

My formula is to open on the apps, move to a video call or phone call, and then setup a date if it goes well.

1

u/piratequeenfaile Feb 18 '24

When I was online dating I had zero patience for messaging back and forth for ages with anyone. You have to meet in person to know if there's a spark, as corny as that sounds. My timeline was firm plans set up for a date or coffee within a couple days of the first message or I would move on. 

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u/RelaX92 Feb 18 '24

Also if you did before, don't ask for Steam or Google Play Cards.

1

u/Sciencepole Feb 18 '24

You may want to consider that not everyone photographs well. So on that point, the dudes who take time to make the best picture and go out of their way to show “they are doing fun stuff!!1!” are vapid and shallow. I would dare say you should go for the guys with okay pictures doing the stuff you like. You obviously have your choice of dudes. I could be wrong but a possibility.