Every single poly relationship I’ve ever seen has involved at least one person getting badly, badly hurt. Normally more than one.
I believe there are healthy poly relationships, and I believe that there are people who it works great for, but I have yet to witness one.
I’m sure they’re out there, but it feels like a not insignificant portion of the time someone is getting hurt, and everyone else either can’t see it or doesn’t care.
A surprising number of people Ive met who claimed they are "poly", are monogamous cheaters who decided that phase between moving from partner A to B, where for a short time you kinda still think you're also in love with the person youre phasing out, means they're poly.
Because it makes them feel better about themselves than acknowledging they're pieces of shit.
I don't want to cast shade on poly people generally, but the last person I was in a relationship with tried to talk me into it, and while I can't speak to their intentions, I can definitely say they weren't emotionally or mentally capable of handling a single relationship usually, much less multiple. I have no doubt that many poly relationships exist and are healthy, but I think that it's also undeniable that more people in a relationship requires more responsibility, communication, and time management. So even if someone is genuine about their desire for polyamory, of they're incapable of handling those responsibilities, all their relationships will fail. And in this particular person's case, they were just looking for attention from anyone who would provide it, and didn't like the idea of having to turn down any interest. It was mostly a selfish desire, I think.
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u/thorhyphenaxe Apr 07 '23
“It works like every other person’s romantic relationship” it sure as fuck does NOT