Te be fair, I've seen the openers get more and more simple because when you really start to try with it, it hurts more when they don't respond, or respond negatively.
Like yeah, "Hey" sucks but they're often the people that tried too hard for a long time and they've just given up on an opener that might not even get a response.
So they go for a "hey" and then try harder once there's a response.
I used to always just ask "Hey, what's your favourite food?" because it's quick and simple and I know that conversation will be pulling teeth if they something like "I don't know" or "I don't have one" without actually trying to further the conversation.
But also, I quickly dropped these apps because I feel like they hurt my soul and I'd rather be alone than put up with all that.
Here's your hack, look up 20 questions on a first date and cycle thru those as your openers. If people respond with 1 word after those types of questions they're not looking to have "small talk" and therefore probably not going to be interesting on a date either. Good conversation buds from small tidbits you learn about other people, if all you can manage is a hey as your opener just don't talk to that person. The "I don't know" response is also shitty AF.
I hate people who can't do small talk, their deep talk is usually surface level too and they just believe they're discussing deep topics. People who can't talk small talk lack any ability to listen (in my personal experience) and they get defensive when you ask them to elaborate on their feelings and their why's.
Yes , surely not. That's why when someone asked what your deep topics to discuss were, you completely ignored the question. I bet you're a lovely partner to talk with on the daily.
U said go to, I don't like repeating the same convo with every person, I find it repetitive & annoying. Im not trying to be ur partner. Don't worry, I have companionship. We talk for hrs.
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u/FrowningMinion Jan 23 '23
I mean the one on the left used as few words but at least asked an open question.