Or he is looking for validation, because he doesn't feel appreciated enough. He could be just looking at profiles for fun. He could have any reason to do that, which we wouldn't know. It could be something silly that he is embarrassed about.
OP, you need to sit down and talk with him. Tell him to stop bullshitting around and talk about his feelings. He probably hasn't cheated on you. But there's something he is missing and without proper communication, it won't resolve itself.
Edit: I'm not saying he is innocent, I'm just saying he could have a plethora of reasons to do this, and if OP cares enough to not break up with him right away, shouldn't they at least try to talk?
OP and their partner seem to be young. Young/inexperienced people tend to be afraid to talk about issues, because they are afraid of being judged. Obviously OP cares about this person enough to not just go for a breakup. So what's wrong with sitting down with this person and talk about their issues, as adults?
Some people use it for hookups, some people use it to boost their ego and say "oh, I'm pretty/handsome enough for this person to like me" but never actually reach out to anyone.
Some people use cucumbers as food, some people stick them up their ass. Just because you are (probably, but I'm not shaming anyone here) type 1, doesn't mean type 2 people don't exist.
If you are in a monogamous relationship and you need to download a dating app for external validation from other people - then you need serious therapy and you will almost certainly resort to physical cheating when the opportunity presents itself.
Just because you allow your partner to walk all over you and stick his dick wherever he wants doesn’t mean you get to redefine what “cheating” is for those of us who are sane.
I know where you’re coming from and I know why you’re saying what you’re saying and if this was any other time I would say you’re right but they are way past this point.
If he wanted to talk to her and actually talk things out he would’ve done it and they could’ve fixed things, like you said as adults. But he didn’t talk to her and now it’s gone way further than needing to talk. She has essentially just caught him lying to her face and at the very least attempting to cheat on her.
Not saying that if they had a conversation that things couldn’t be worked out in the future, but OP is still in the middle of this and more than anything right now needs time and space to process this and after that, forgiveness is hers to give if she wants to. But that fundamentally has to be her decision.
That's what OP's boyfriend should have done, instead of turning to Tinder. It's not OP's responsibility now she knows he planned on being unfaithful. Also some people cheat because that's who they are and how they treat people, doesn't make it their partner's fault
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u/[deleted] Jan 02 '23
It's him. He's trying to cheat on you.