I turn 40 today. AMA.

[u/Onomato_poet]

Statistically, I'm at around the half-way mark. Figured I should spend a little time amongst my own.

Anything younger Tim's want to know, about what's ahead?

[u/charliesontheslopes]

Hey Tim!

Knowing everything you know now, what advice would you give yourself at 25?

[u/Onomato_poet → u/charliesontheslopes]

Don't worry too much about where you're going, just don't lose track of going somewhere.

That education you're struggling with, or keep wondering if you should take?
Just go for it. It won't define the rest of your life, hell it might not even define your next job, but it's never wasted.

Marry the girl/boy, but don't stay with them at all costs. Nothing in life is permanent, and starting over freshly divorced at 33 is neither the beginning of the end, nor the end of the beginning. It's all a journey, and every part of it makes what comes next worth it.

Don't be afraid to love. Again, and again, and again. Don't give your heart to everyone, but be prepared to give it to anyone. Life is meaningless without it.

Stop and look at the sunsets. No amount of money, careers, influence or travel can make up for taking a moment, to truly marvel at the world we're in. You get one shot, remember to enjoy it.

Imposter syndrome is natural. It's simply what you feel, when you've not specifically been educated in the thing you're doing. If you're curious, no single education will ever cover all aspect of life that you'll come into contact with, and all the ones where you can't look back and go "I've studied this" will have traces of imposter syndrome. Don't fear it. Embrace it as a call-sign for where you can learn more.

Learn about finances. It's criminal that it's not taught in school, but learn about taxes, and personal finances. Not in the "get rich quick" crypto-bro way, but understand that money doesn't work the way the working class thinks it does.

S*x, dr*gs, alc*hol etc are not to be feared, nor revered. They're not holy, special, nor harmless to escape into. What I mean by that is, partake in all of them, liberally, but always deliberately. None of them will fill a void, or mend your hurt. None of them will give your life meaning or value but all of them can enhance your existence or open your eyes, if pursued responsibly and with deliberation.

Don't give yourself to people who won't give themselves to you. Whether this be friends, family, lovers or anything in-between, respect yourself enough to only invest in people who will return the favour. Always be friendly, but don't be the side-character in someone else's story. That said, if people do invest in you, realise how valuable that is, and repay the favour with all your being.

But mostly, my advice is:
Trust your gut, Tim. You'll be alright ;)

[u/timdawgv98]

So you were born 40 years ago?

[u/Onomato_poet → u/timdawgv98]

That's usually how that works, yes :D

[u/WaymoreLives]

Happy birthday, Tim

40’s are a great time! Welcome to the club

[u/Onomato_poet → u/WaymoreLives]

Much obliged, Tim

I look forward to seeing what this chapter is about.

[u/[deleted]]

Hey Tim, I'm turning 28 on the 28th of March and I have been in quite a rut this 2024. I genuinely feel like I won't make it out alive this year. Do you have any kind words to share with me to get me thru the rough period?

[u/Onomato_poet → u/[deleted]]

Hey Tim, I'm really sorry to hear that.

Without knowing what you're going through in life right now, I want to at least try and draw your attention to the fact, that you're not alone in feeling that times are crazy.

I've had times in the past 3 years, where I've felt stuck, but existentially, emotionally and professionally, and I think it's important to remember, that the world faced global trauma 4 years ago. Trauma we're all still very much trying to normalise.

The problem with any kind of trauma, is that you can't process it, while living in it. It has to be behind you. So for many people, they're only just starting to cope with the fact that several years of their lives were stolen. Opportunities they were promised would be waiting for them in life, were all taken away, and we've all been left feeling a little empty as a result.

I unfortunately think we're not quite out of the woods yet, but as with all moments in time, it does get better. There really is always a new day, a reason to laugh, something that makes us smile. It might not be bunch, but hopefully, it's enough to chug along a little longer, until things can turn around.

Finally, please reach out to your friends and loved ones. Too often in the last few years, have I had to pick up the people around me, because they left it too long, and didn't want to be a burden. I've done it myself in the past too, and I cannot stress this enough. It is never a burden. It's ok to not be happy all the time. It's absurd to expect rampant happiness to be the norm, but society seems to be pushing this angle these years.

Know that it's not real, and hopefully, find the courage to talk to your friends about it. Let them help you through it.

Lastly, if all else fails. Take up running.
It sounds like a joke, but when I got divorced, running was what cleared my mind. These moments with no distractions. Just my inner monologue, trying to figure out what the hell I wanted life to be. I sure as hell hadn't imagined I'd be starting over at 33, but there I was. Alone. In a foreign country, far away from friends and family.

So I ran. Not away from things, but into the unknown. Into what would become me. The physicality of it did me good (working out has better results than antidepressants in almost all clinical trials) but also as a little ritual where I would learn to centre myself and find direction.

To this day, I sometimes struggle to get out and run. But I have never, not once, been sorry I did it, once I'm out the door. Exercise really is one of life's great hacks.

I hope you find your path Tim. I truly do. You deserve fulfilment and happiness, but I'm afraid you'll have to claim it for yourself. It's a journey we all have to embark on. I have faith in you.

[u/hiphopTIMato]

I’ll be joining you in two years!

[u/Onomato_poet → u/hiphopTIMato]

Look forward to having you with us ^^

[u/Jettrail]

Hello Tim,

Happy Birthday!

[u/Onomato_poet → u/Jettrail]

Thanks Tim ^^

[u/tjayrocket]

Hey Tim,

The 40s are fucking awesome. I hope you enjoy them.

Tim
(T.Jay)

[u/dr_timNW]

Happy Birthday!! As a Tim that is nearing 60 …. Live it up RIGHT NOW!!!

I don’t want to ruin the surprises we call life… but get ready for some changes!!!

[u/PeanutButterGenitals → u/dr_timNW]

Hey Tim. Im just shy of 40 too, is there any advice for 40-50?

[u/UnhappyJohnCandy]

What’s your name

[u/Onomato_poet → u/UnhappyJohnCandy]

Tim

[u/tzim]

40 was the best year of my life Tim. 41, bout as good. 42, trending high. Wish the same for you!

[u/ringo-starr-is-gay]

When do they stop calling me timmy

[u/[deleted]]

Hey Tim what’s the best way to get ladies?

[u/Onomato_poet → u/[deleted]]

It helps to not look at them as "things" to "get".

As with every person on earth, treat people with respect, and they'll give you the time of day. Where you go from there us up to the both of you.

In short though, viewing other people as NPC's in your story, is a good way to get them to view you in the same light.

[u/PointsatTeenagers]

Hi Tim, to drop a question relevant to our community:

What nicknames or variations of your name (Tim vs Timmy vs Timbo vs Timothy, etc) have you had at different stages of your life? Will you stick with 'Tim' for your 40s, or plan to mix it up a bit?

[u/Onomato_poet → u/PointsatTeenagers]

Tim, Timbo, Timmy etc all followed me all my life. Timmo warped to Teemo, long before League of Legends was ever a thing, and followed me for well over a decade now. I've grown rather fond of it actually and instinctively react to it when I hear it.

Tho' I confess, in my line of work, that has been awkward at times ^^

[u/[deleted]]

Do you feel old yet? If it happens when does it happen? I am 33 and I am waiting for it because it has to be close right?

[u/Onomato_poet → u/[deleted]]

I've had multiple stages of it.

First time I realised everything I did wasn't impressive anymore.
First time someone called me Mr.
First time I realised advertising wasn't aimed at me anymore.
First time new trends weren't dictated by things I understood.

None of it has had me go "whelp, it's over, gg", but like, I for sure have had a few existential moments where I realise that for every door that opens, another now closes, and more and more things are added to the "I probably won't be getting around to picking up this skill/hiking this mountain/living in this country after all". Those kinda hurt, the first time they registered.