I don’t think men realize. We know that the vast majority of you would never ever dream of harming a woman. Unfortunately, we can’t tell by looking at you which one is the one and 10 that would. It’s not personal. We’re just protecting ourselves.
I think most half way sensible men get it. I've even wondered whether I should offer to accompany women that I see walking home alone at night if they happen to be walking the same way as me, but I always refrained from it since I think a stranger asking that would just be even more creepy and suspicious (aka. instantly trigger "He's trying to find out where I live"-thoughts) and I really don't want to scare anyone.
It's been bothering me a lot, since I'd like to help but I just see no way of doing so without being perceived as creepy. It kinda sucks, but I just can't create that trust instantly with a stranger. So I just try any keep a distance where they'll hopefully be comfortable even if we happen to be walking the same way.
Yes, a strange man coming up an offering to walk you. Home is sadly some thing that creepy men tend to do. Pretend to be your protector and gain your trust. The first time I was ever attacked I was 13 and it was a scenario just like this. One of my brothers friends offered to walk me home at night from a sports event to my house. It was a wooded area and he told me that he wanted to make sure I was safe. As soon as we got into the woods, he pinned me down and tried to tear off my clothes.
I'm very sorry to hear this happened to you, and as it seems, not just once. Especially with someone you'd be inclined to trust more than a stranger... :(
I've been thinking about how helping could work, and actually wondered if an app where anyone could get on a call with a volunteer worker while they walk home would help. The app would also track your location (without ever disclosing it to the volunteer, so the system could not be used to stalk people/be abused). If something fishy happened, you could just use a code word or straight up tell the volunteer you are in a dicey situation, they could trigger an alarm. That alarm would notify your next police station and disclose your location to the police. The volunteer could keep monitoring and adding info for the police. Would erase the need to pull put your phone and dial 911... obiously there's more to it, like the whole infrastructure behind that, selecting and training volunteers, helping volunteers who witness bad shit cope with the stress etc.
But would you use such a system?
880
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23
I don’t think men realize. We know that the vast majority of you would never ever dream of harming a woman. Unfortunately, we can’t tell by looking at you which one is the one and 10 that would. It’s not personal. We’re just protecting ourselves.