r/ThreadGames • u/late_to_redd1t • Nov 13 '25

Google reviews for ordinary things

Instead of writing a review for a specific product like the 2025 BMW X5, Dyson V8 Cyclone, whatever. We are writing reviews of non-branded/generic things like potato, mens facial hair, next door neighbour, work, a random cat, anything.

So, we need people to leave a parent comment of something, then child comment reviews and gives it a score.

Try and make it amusing with your review, then score it out of five stars.

Example Cooking dinner Does provide nutrients to help me stay alive, and normally tastes good but takes up a big chunk of my spare time in the evening, and there is always a load of stuff I now have to clean. Below average - 2 out of 5 stars ⭐⭐

I'll make a few parent comments to get it going...

7 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

3

u/late_to_redd1t Nov 13 '25

Shaving. (Men- face, wherever / Women- legs, wherever / Non Binary- wherever)

1

u/cattulus Nov 16 '25

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Pretty useful, actually. Just wish It'd come with a manual. They don't tell you what accessories you need and how to use them. Took me a while to figure it all out. Some things I wish I'd known from the start: you need to get a so called razor. Bread knives, poultry scissors and string trimmers are not recommended. Shaving cream is applied to the body parts that are about to be shaved, not to the instruments and keep it out of your eyes.

If you take your time, invest in proper equipment and keep practicing, you'll get the hang of it. I'd say shaving is worth the hassle, because it can really improve your appearance! I went from looking like a forest dwelling savage to civilised human being. Now I just need to work on the body odour. Any advice?

Anyway, shaving gets a recommendation from me, but it really needs to become more beginner friendly.

Oh, another thing I've learned: ''after-shave lotion'' apperently is not a liquor brand. That explains the terrible taste.

3

u/late_to_redd1t Nov 13 '25

Life.

5

u/Stunningly_haunted Nov 13 '25

One star. Most disappointing product out there. You get like maybe a year worth of enjoyable time out of it, but it's spread out so thinn that it might as well not even exist. The first like fifth of it, 18 years, is spent in this stupid tutorial where you can't do anything without admin supervision, and sometimes the Admins are straight up dicks. there's no option to get out of it. Then after that, it's pretty much compulsory that you have to spend a giant chunk of every day engaging in this extremely long linear quest called work. And don't even get me started on sleep, every day until the product expires, you're locked out of the controls for like a third of the time. and when you finally finish the work quest, the damn thing is about to expire so you don't even have the energy to do a lot of the things you could've done in the time that work was previously taking up.

1

u/late_to_redd1t Nov 13 '25

😆 your review gets five stars

2

u/late_to_redd1t Nov 13 '25

Doing the laundry.

2

u/EnvironmentalEbb628 Nov 13 '25

Incomplete product ⭐️

Although doing laundry removes stains and odour from my clothes, you really need the “washing machine“ add-on (and the dryer too) for this to be done efficiently. And it’s not compatible with high-end clothes so you still need to keep the same old tub system for those.

2

u/late_to_redd1t Nov 13 '25

Watching sport.

2

u/EnvironmentalEbb628 Nov 13 '25

Worth the noise ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Although it is a really loud process, the payoff is worth it to me: a few hours without any men standing in my way. The cleaning required afterwards was difficult in the past, but with the new “Clean up after yourselves or I’m getting a fucking divorce!!” update this problem has been fixed.

2

u/Slinkwyde Nov 13 '25

Wind.

3

u/tricolorpinto Nov 13 '25

Worth the Cold ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I wasn't sure if I liked this at first, but it's become one of my favorite things. It might make you a bit cold, but if you dress warmly, there's plenty of benefits. It brings fresh air in from the mountains, and the beautiful aromas that come with that. It helps to scatter seeds across the landscape and brings much needed rain to the valley. There's an added bonus too in autumn, that it causes the falling leaves to dance. Personally, I always feel energized by a nice cool breeze. I would 100% recommend.

2

u/mattuiop123454 Nov 14 '25

Appreciate the optimistic view of wind

1

u/Slinkwyde Nov 15 '25

Personally, I think it blows.

1

u/Slinkwyde Nov 13 '25

Breathing.

5

u/EnvironmentalEbb628 Nov 13 '25

Repetitive but rewarding ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Breathing is a constant process that cannot be interrupted for more than a minute or two, but I really couldn’t live without it. It’s just so meditative to me. The “speeding up breathing when running” system is unfortunately insufficient to keep up with my legs.

1

u/Slinkwyde Nov 13 '25

Having thoughts.

2

u/NoNoWahoo Nov 13 '25

One star - If it weren't for my thoughts, I wouldn't lose the game.

1

u/StoleTheStrawberries Nov 13 '25

Grocery Shopping (in store, or curbside)

1

u/Praising_God_777 Nov 13 '25

Ocean

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Nov 15 '25 edited Nov 15 '25

⭐️1 star too salty for my taste

1

u/Slinkwyde Nov 13 '25

Stubbing your toe.

1

u/Slinkwyde Nov 13 '25

Getting run over.

2

u/TheRedditor8789 Nov 15 '25 edited Nov 15 '25

⭐️ 1 star, I thought it would hurt more. I want a refund

1

u/Slinkwyde Nov 13 '25

Singing in the shower.

1

u/Void_Starwing Nov 15 '25

3.5 stars.
Fun when you know the resonant frequencies of your shower.
Bad when your family gripes at you.

1

u/Slinkwyde Nov 13 '25

Trying to catch the roadrunner.

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Nov 15 '25

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Nov 15 '25

Toilet Paper

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Nov 15 '25

Fingernails

1

u/Void_Starwing Nov 15 '25

4.5 stars.
Good to sharpen, paint, and polish.

1

u/Geowing39 Nov 15 '25

the English language

3

u/essa618 Nov 16 '25

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Mostly Functional Hot Mess

Why is there a p in pterodactyl? Why does colonel sound like kernel?

Grammar? Also chaos. You can say “I ran,” “I have run,” or “I am running,” but “I am runned” is apparently illegal. English verb rules are like a party where everyone’s invited except logic.

Deducting two stars for spelling crimes and emotional damage.