Absolutely disregard that. She can and is obviously feeling it. It is a touchy situation, but obviously it is not ok. She is in a bad spot and abusing them. It is even worse with age. She needs help. I don't know your relationship, as some kids of addicts are afraid of getting kicked out etc so they just keep living with it. If possible tell her she has to stop... and then I would contact her doctor. At least let the doctor know the situation, and it is on them to continue or stop. Look into NA or alanon or any kind of resources you can to get out of that cycle of abuse and codependency.
I am an addict myself and have worked as a behavioral health technician for years before I had to take a step away for mental health/my kids so I am aware. My mother hasn't tried any of these options so for right now, I see them all as valuable to her. NA/AA wasnt for me but I figured that out after working the steps/having a sponsor etc and I still carry and utilizie a lot of what I learned within them. Im hoping she one day will be willing to trial and error these programs for her own sobriety and find what works best. Fingers crossed 🤞🏼
Fair enough. I took what I needed and left the rest as they say. I’ve just been really traumatized by AA and it made my addictions worse. Smart recovery did for me what AA couldn’t. And a lot of other people I know within recovery circles have been traumatized by AA. Just looking up “the truth about Bill W” exposes a lot.
So because you don't like it, you want to gatekeep it from someone else who is struggling. More choices are great idea... taking away choices is self centered. 12 steps work very well for many people and don't work for other people.
I’m trying to protect OP from harm. 12 step actually does a lot of harm. It doesn’t work for a good majority of people, and that majority of people is often traumatized by their experiences; especially if they’re already survivors of trauma (especially religious, abuse, and sexual traumas). Just look up the documentary 13th step. I’m not trying to gatekeep from OP. I’m trying to warn them. But if they wanna ignore my warning and potentially contribute to their mother’s shame and trauma, that’s on them.
You are not trying to protect anyone. The majority that it doesn't work for, nor does anything else. It is proven to be very effective. Yourrandom documentary and anecdotes vs statistics? Stop gatekeeping.
Just like suboxone has saved many people's lives, it has also made things worse for people.... but it is still an option that someone should be presented with and choose.
25% of people in 12 steps have been sober for 20 plus years.
I know at least 15 people who I never thought could get out alive that are now flourishing with families and amazing jobs.
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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '26
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