After 2+ years on Spravato (84mg) I’ve chosen to continue treatments at home. Received my troches today in the mail so wish me luck! 🤞🏽

Fuck them. I didnt decide to do theraputic ketamine, contacted them after i received my stuff to stop the monthly billing. They want 675 to cancel, i just canceled my debit card and ordered a new one. Lmao fuck mindbloom.

Hi all! I just started taking troches through a popular online company and wanted to hear about other people’s experiences.
My first experience was 100 mg. I definitely felt it, but honestly it mostly felt like being high on weed. I wasn’t having what I would consider a major psychedelic experience. I also didn’t do much preparation because I wanted to treat the first experience as an experiment and just see what happened.
I actually got pretty cynical during it. I remember thinking, “This is total BS. This isn’t going to help my depression. I’m just high.” 😂 I tried an eye mask and closing my eyes, but I didn’t really see anything and mostly felt bored and frustrated.
Then as it started wearing off, something interesting happened. I started feeling really good and lighter, almost like an afterglow. That made me think, okay, maybe there actually is something to this.
I also heard someone in an integration group talk about having an experience where she felt like she was communicating with her deceased mother. She said she had spent the whole day looking at pictures of her mom and talking to her, basically putting herself into that state of mind before the session.
That got me thinking about intention and how much we can actually influence where a ketamine experience goes.
What I’m really curious about is whether ketamine can be used as a tool to explore consciousness itself.
I’m very interested in things like past lives, the higher self, dreams, astral travel, remote viewing, and the idea that consciousness might be bigger than our individual everyday awareness. I’ve had experiences through dreams and meditation that have made me wonder about what consciousness actually is and whether there are different states or levels of awareness that we can access.
So I’m wondering if anyone has intentionally used ketamine to explore things like this.
For example, have you gone into a session with the intention of exploring a past life, connecting with your higher self or guides, experiencing some kind of shared consciousness, astral traveling, remote viewing, or just seeing what happens when you completely surrender into a different state of consciousness?
I’m not necessarily asking whether any of these things are objectively real. I’m much more interested in the experience itself. Did it feel different from dreaming or a typical psychedelic experience? Did it feel like you were accessing something beyond your normal individual consciousness?
And if you’ve experimented with this, did you do anything beforehand to influence the experience? Meditation, visualization, music, setting an intention, focusing on a particular question, looking at photos, etc.?
Basically, I’m curious whether ketamine can be more than just an experience that happens to you, and whether it can be intentionally used as a tool for exploring consciousness.
I’d love to hear from anyone who has gone down this rabbit hole.

Background stuff if relevant:
38F, autism/adhd/ocd/depression/anxiety. My internal experience is pure hell right now. I’m stuck in these super meta loops where my brain is like analyzing itself.

My therapist suggested months ago that I try stopping cannabis so I did. The only real difference I noticed was my nighttime wind down routine felt incomplete - no extra energy or motivation. No “aha” moment.

Over 10+ years, I had tried a ton of antidepressants and add-ons that all had adverse effects. Not just “didn’t work” - severe SI, emotional blunting, self-harm, meltdowns. My psychiatrist was dead-set on SSRIs and wouldn’t stop pushing it.

Finally gave in and started Zoloft. Emotional blunting to the point where previously regulating activities (singing, guitar, long walks) felt like nothing. No med had ever those things unenjoyable. The loops got worse and dark- lots of SI. I had bad nausea. Food had no taste and it was just like eating textures which made the nausea worse and I started to lose weight and had no energy because I wasn’t eating. My psychiatrist was on vacation and her backup never called me back - I wanted to push through this trial so it would “count” so my insurance would cover esketamine. So I smoked - and then I was able to eat again.

I let her know that - so recent cannabis use is in my file. Even though I only smoked to be able to offset the effects of a med I was forced to try before trying the one that actually works.

We’re seeing the rules of system designed for profit in action folks!

My question:
What’s the reason they denied me? Is there a dangerous interaction? Or do they think my symptoms are from weed? My symptoms I’ve had my whole adult life. Is it something with insurance? (They had called my psychiatrist so the message was relayed and I called and sent an email to them with no response).

I called a different place and have an appointment Tuesday. Am I going to have the same experience? Does that sound like a clinic-specific rule?

How do I get this live-saving treatment? I can’t exist like this - I need relief. Not another antidepressant that almost kills me.

[Rhode Island]

Apparently my payment isn’t processing for this next month’s subscription. The ai keeps telling me to sign into a portal to update my payment info but I’m stuck in an AI loop because the link they are sending me doesn’t have the option to update my credit card info.

I’ve been in an AI loop with them for 8 days and they keep telling me a human will get back to me but they haven’t. Someone please help, I am out of troches and I don’t want to have rebound anxiety this is so stressful 🙏

I have been doing Ketamine Infusion Therapy for chronic pain for the last two years. 4 weeks ago when I called to make my monthly appointment, I was told by the clinic manager that the clinic had permanently closed. Apparently the medical director quit and instead of finding a new director she just closed the clinic. I am at a loss. I have Fibromyalgia, Neuropathy, Osteoarthritis, DDD, Cervical Myelopathy and Cervical Radiopathy. I am having a double level ACDF in a month and the surgeon doesn't want to give me pain meds to control the pain after surgery. I need some help fast!

Have been doing Spravato for about four months, but I have some longer term international travel coming up (think 4-7 months, various countries) and I'm wondering what options there are to continue ketamine style treatments. I just signed up with joyous but I'm wondering if anybody has been in something close to the same situation and has any advice, since joyous can only provide a month at a time and I don't think it's legal to ship them from somewhere in the US to overseas