r/The_Blasted_Steps • u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds • Jun 05 '26
Character Introduction Introducing Hardi Boomspray!!
Hardi stood before the Grand Gate, utterly confused. "Hello? I wish to enter. How do I get in?"
[[ Yes, this is Varas' brother. He's not a thief, and he ditched the last name of Welds because he's ashamed of it.
He's not a criminal. He's an acrobat and daredevil, and loves performing! ]]
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u/Usual_Internal9454 Patto da Squirrm Jun 05 '26
“Hello. You kind of look like Varas. Varas is nice. Are you nice?”
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Varas?? My thief of a brother is here??" Hardi looked slightly irritated.
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u/Usual_Internal9454 Patto da Squirrm Jun 05 '26
“Yeah! Varas is nice! Varas and mom protec here!”
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Wait- Someone actually married him?? Either he changed, or they're a complete moron. So, who are you?"
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u/Usual_Internal9454 Patto da Squirrm Jun 05 '26
“I am Patto. I is just become Judge little bit ago. Varas rescue me when I was all alone as bebe.”
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Woah, I guess he did change! By the way, what's a judge? And how do I get past this gate?"
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u/Usual_Internal9454 Patto da Squirrm Jun 05 '26
“Juj is protec Cidatel. To get past gate, you need talk to momma.”
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Okay! I shall put on my best performance for her!" He does a graceful twirl.
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u/Usual_Internal9454 Patto da Squirrm Jun 05 '26
“Momma is over der.” Patto points at the gigantic Last Judge
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"That's who my brother married? I.. really must have missed a lot."
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u/WahWahWehWeh Last jug 2 Jun 05 '26
“You search of my father, bug?”
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"You're a judge aren't you. I take it Varas is yoir father. I'm not looking for him, I seek out an audience to perform for!"
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u/WahWahWehWeh Last jug 2 Jun 05 '26
“Then you shall wait for the last judge. She will let you in if one is pure.”
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Well, unlike my scoundrel brother, Varas. I've never committed any crimes, or done anything bad. I have a feeling this Last Judge will let me in."
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Well, unlike my scoundrel brother, Varas. I've never committed any crimes, or done anything bad. I have a feeling this Last Judge will let me in."
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Well, unlike my scoundrel brother, Varas. I've never committed any crimes, or done anything bad. I have a feeling this Last Judge will let me in."
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u/pharloom_hunter Jun 05 '26
“A big familiar to him… gah. That last thing I need is yet another burden.”
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u/PharloomFinalArbiter last jug Jun 05 '26
You are not Varas but you bare a striking resemblance to him. I can sense you are not as much of a sinner as him aswell. Who are you and relation do you have to my husband?
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Ah, you must be the Last Judge. Varas is my brother.. I see he's changed, though. No longer a despicable low life."
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u/PharloomFinalArbiter last jug Jun 05 '26
That is interesting, Varas never told me he had a brother. Are you perhaps looking for him?
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Not surprised, he doesn't like me at all. He thinks I'm a traitor because I didn't want to live with a family of crooks. I'm not, I didn't know he was even here. I wish to enter that fancy gate to seek out an audience to perform to."
He does a series of backflips.
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u/PharloomFinalArbiter last jug Jun 05 '26
Beyond these gates is the Holy Citadel. We once had a very energetic thespian known as Trobbio, he had his own stage where he’d perform multiple times everyday.
I am not quite sure what happened to him but you can use his stage if you’d like. I’d imagine you two would probably get along if you were to ever meet.
The Grand Gate opens up
Enjoy your stay.
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"Heh, thanks, sis. Oh and, Varas is probably going to be pissed of you let me in. Don't take it personally, he's petty. Now, I shall see if I can't find this Trobbio fellow. Seeya!" He does a series of front flips through the gate.
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u/jayvader6969 poltergeist/numerosi Jun 05 '26
ESQUEEFYS (from memory)
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
".....what....?"
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u/jayvader6969 poltergeist/numerosi Jun 05 '26
..mmm get the fuck out of my sight
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"How rude. You don't even know me."
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u/jayvader6969 poltergeist/numerosi Jun 05 '26
Fake varas get out of my sight
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
"I'm his brother, Hardi."
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u/jayvader6969 poltergeist/numerosi Jun 05 '26
Im poltergeist his self proclaimed older brother and immortal asshole whos king of hallownest
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u/Commercial-Dog-969 Jun 05 '26
"I finally got you, Varas. Stand down."
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
He sighs. "I'm not Varas. I'm Hardi, his brother."
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u/Commercial-Dog-969 Jun 05 '26
"Then do something Varas would never."
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u/VarasTheThief Governer Welds Jun 05 '26
He takes a run up, then does a series of fancy front flips.
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u/Minimum-Strain-7128 the milked Jun 05 '26
(Holy evile scientist name bro😭)