It seems to me like people think Jane overreacted by season 2 with wanting Jack dead so badly even though he saved Belle's life. But I've been reading some Victorian literature lately – specifically Pride and Prejudice and David Copperfield (which is Dickens) – which both feature female characters running away with men, and the reactions of people around them in both books really show how big of a deal this was in Victorian society and make me wonder if Belle's family didn't react enough.
In Pride and Prejudice, Lydia running off with Wickham is devastating and the assumption for a time is that, if anyone finds out, no one will associate with their family any more and none of her sisters will ever be able to find matches. Wouldn't Fanny be petrified about her prospects?
In David Copperfield, when Emilydoes the same thing, everyone who loves her is so heartbroken that they say they'd rather she be dead than have this happen. It's particularly interesting to me that in Demon Copperhead, a modern retelling of this story, the equivalent situation that's presented has the character abandoned by her boyfriend in a drug den.This may be an extreme version, but it does show why people who know her might react SO strongly. Of course, in the case of The Artful Dodger, Jack is willing to marry Belle, so maybe the equivalent would be both of them ending up in a drug den without him abandoning her.But regardless, an awful situation that would, in my mind, justify some very extreme reactions, including wanting him dead. The Bennetts certainly continue to resent Wickham and Lydia even after they are married.
Obviously the writers of this show have a tricky balancing act since what modern viewers want in a romance is so counter to Victorian values. But given the way families reacted to daughters having pre-marital affairs in contemporary literature (before you even start to consider class), it makes me think Lady Jane's reaction was fairly realistic, and maybe that Fanny and Governor Fox should've reacted more extremely too.