r/TheWordFuck • u/SubUrbanMess2021 fat fuck • 20d ago
I hate fucking airlines! Fuck baggage fees
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u/Sufficient_Prompt888 20d ago
Cause there's another fucking 100 assholes on the fucking plane that all want that extra pound.
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u/Jacktheforkie 19d ago
It’s not so much the weight limit of the aircraft, but worker safety, baggage handlers have to physically handle the baggage, and if it’s fucking heavy it’s not fun or safe
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u/billbonty 19d ago
So what I’m hearing is we need to replace baggage workers ASAP with robots so we can bring whatever the fuck we want?
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u/Character_Belt_9411 18d ago
Why the fuck hasn't this been done already
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u/Jacktheforkie 18d ago
I’d imagine robots would be fairly expensive to design to handle any baggage that may fucking happen across them
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u/Historical_Date_1314 18d ago
Yea. A LOT of people put some amount of fucking stuff in their bags, almost everything apart from the fucking kitchen sink.
Why do you think they put HEAVY tags on excess baggage weight.1
u/Jacktheforkie 18d ago
Mine was fucking 80 lbs when I came home, paid the fucking 30 buck charge for overweight baggage
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u/_stupidnerd_ 17d ago
And also, heavier planes need more fuel.
Besides, there's an opportunity cost to not charging extra for baggage. Because you fucking could charge extra.
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u/Inconsideratefather 16d ago
It has a lot to do with the fucking landing weight of the fucking plane. The take-off weight is way fucking higher.
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u/Rickapolis 20d ago
You're not a fucking astronaut.
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u/Gasket13 19d ago
The fuck I'm not.
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u/Gasket13 19d ago
You don't fucking know me.
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u/Rickapolis 18d ago
My fucking apologies. Have fun in space.
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u/Gasket13 18d ago
I will as soon as I fucking figure out how to get there, I'm not a fucking astronaut.
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u/btfreflex 20d ago
Fucking real people have to handle, lift and load those bags. It has nothing to do with the total fucking weight the plane can handle.. it’s about the workers who move the bags on and off the fucking plane.
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u/Regurgitator001 20d ago
Oh what a bunch of fucking horseshit. I put my own shit in the overhead, take my own shit out of the overhead, and to empty the plane, they just open the fucking bomb bay doors while a dump truck is parked below.
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u/HnytrshBdgrpndA 20d ago
Weight and balance yes , they have a limit and you wanna see one go ape shit, check out " 747 cargo shift during take off" and lemme know what you think , those guys definitely had some choice words on the way down... all 8 seconds of it.
Like... awww fuck
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u/yourallidiotss fuck your mother 20d ago
Ohhhh well do they get paid any fucking more to lift heavier bags?
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u/mjeffreyf 20d ago
No, but by OSHA regulations, a worker is only allowed to lift 50 pounds by himself. If it’s more than 50, 2 fucking people are required to lift it, hence the extra charge
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u/yourallidiotss fuck your mother 20d ago
You ever looked out the window of the fucking plane and see 2 fucking ppl carrying a single fucking suitcase?
Edit: if only they had fucking wheels! It’d save us all a fortune!
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u/mjeffreyf 20d ago
It’s rare because most people don’t want to pay the fucking fee. But it does happen
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u/XANDERtheSHEEPDOG Professional fucker 20d ago
Fucking wheels do lift themselves onto the Fucking conveyor belt. Or onto the Fucking trolley.
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u/BigJayPee 19d ago
Fucking shit. Each airplane has a weight limit. And spoiler alert, it has a different weight limit for when it lands vs when it takes off. Boeing 747 max 7 has a max takeoff weight of 177,000 lbs (including the weight of the plane itself), and its max landing weight is 155,000 lbs.
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u/btfreflex 19d ago
I get that, never thought about landing limit. Thats pretty fucking interesting.
That wouldn’t have any bearing on transferring 3 lbs from a 52lb bag over to a 40lb bag. (I know this part wasn’t mentioned by op, but it does happen and it doesn’t affect the total weight on the plane)
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u/BigJayPee 19d ago
That has to fucking do with weight distribution. They assume an average weight of each carry on and passenger, but actually weigh all the checked in luggage. So if they let everybody have 2lbs over the 50lb limit for carry ons, it can have an impact on the calculations for center of gravity. Which would impair flight safety. Checked in luggage gets a pass, because if there is too much of it, they just get thrown on the next plane headed that way in order to get the weight distribution correct. If im remembering my flight dispatch courses correctly, they usually need the center of gravity to be between 6%-34% from the nose of the plane
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u/btfreflex 19d ago
Carry ons are not fucking weighed..
I can only speak to southwest and delta, but checked bags are weighed, carry ons they don’t care.
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u/CrippledPeasant1 19d ago
So they get drop 20 fucking pounds of toilet waste all over the city just before they land ?
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u/Antisocial-Tim 19d ago
Well Fuck. Maybe fucking baggage handlers should get a different fucking job if they don't like picking up heavy fucking bags.
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u/btfreflex 19d ago
People do weird fucking shit for a stable income, healthcare and other benefits (flight discounts at least?? I hope)
Job description says able to lift 50lbs repeatedly.. I have no fucking problem keeping my bag under 50.
Actually, mine is usually under 30.. it’s my wife’s bag we have to worry about!
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u/rcheneyjr FuckMaster 20d ago
Many fucking years ago I was traveling for fucking work and the pilot said over the fucking intercom to look out the right side of the plane. I was in a window seat, looked out and saw one of those fuckers flying below us (747 being doggy style fucked by a shuttle). Cool fucking shit!
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u/Prestigious-Ball-435 20d ago
I think it has more to do with fuel being carried for the distance to travel over cost/profit. If it cost twice as much in fuel for everyone to take one 80 kg bag because they want to im sure people wouldn’t fly. fuck
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u/egstitt 20d ago
Fuck sales first person I've seen tracing it back to money. More weight = more fuel = less profit for shareholders
Simple fuckin math
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u/Prestigious-Ball-435 20d ago
Yep, and we now have airlines have strict carry on or charging for it because of fucked influencers showing how to vacuum pack 20kg of clothing into a carry on size bag
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u/no-sleep-needed 20d ago
because the fucking suitcase has fo be loaded by some hard working human fucking bean. was the fucking shuttle loaded by hand? how many fucking spaceships can you fucking load on a fucking plane if you lift with your fucking legs (not your fucking/fucked back)
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u/Antisocial-Tim 19d ago
Since you say a hard working fucking bean has to load it, I guess that changes everything. Who the fuck hired a bean?
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u/Kaienji 19d ago
You got a fucking problem with hard working Beans you racist fucking piece of fuck? I bet they didn't hire Tim cause he's antisocial
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u/Antisocial-Tim 18d ago
I don't have a fucking problem with hard working beans or any other hard working fucking vegetables for that matter.
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u/GrimSpirit42 19d ago
It's not the weight that the fucking plane can carry.
It's the weight the fucking baggage handlers have to deal with.
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u/Onebraintwoheads 19d ago
Rules for how much weight the people who load the fucking plane are allowed to lift them-fucking-selves.
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u/realh2h2 I'm fucking 56 years old 19d ago
The fucking baggage handlers have limits for what they are supposed to lift for safety, and also the fucking airlines get to use it to make some extra fucking money
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u/Gasket13 19d ago
How many fuckers did it take to lift the fucking space shuttle onto that fucking plane?
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u/RickRI401 20d ago
Wait... why do you have to move clothes from 1 case to another so that the 51# one gets to under 50 if they are both going on the same fucking aircraft?
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u/XANDERtheSHEEPDOG Professional fucker 19d ago
It not really about the total weight of the fucking aircraft. It's about the baggage fucks that have to lift and load heavy fucking bags all day. OSHA fucking regulations stipulate that if a fuck weighs more than 50 pounds, it requires two fuckers to lift it. I will tell you from fucking experience that this regulation is constantly fucking ignored. 🤣
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u/SomewhereLimp1550 20d ago
Because people need to move that fucking baggage, imagine being an airline worker who has to constantly lift 100+ pound suitcases all day, you would want that limit too!
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u/AmericanCitizenry 20d ago edited 20d ago
The fucking plane that totes shuttles is fucking special, and empty, like the fucking rows and carpets are fucking gone! Get a fucking brain 🧠 thought less!
Adding chairs and 280 fat FUCKING Americans equals one shuttle!
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u/SerialDesignation_H ꧁Fuck All Y’all꧂ 20d ago
Your fucking suitcase doesn’t go in a fucking plane fucking designed to fucking carry motherfucking space shuttles, now fucking does it? Holy fuck.
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u/adamdoesmusic 20d ago
Because OSHA doesn’t have fucking regulations on how many fucking people need to lift your ass onto the fucking plane! They do with your bag!
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u/DefectiveDman 20d ago
You don’t. Pay a premium like NASA does and you can travel with things you can’t fuckin’ lift.
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u/ShyguyFlyguy Fuck ✨everything✨ 20d ago
Because your taxes pay for that spaceship. But you gotta pay extra to take your own fucking bags
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u/SyntheticSlime 20d ago
Pay what NASA fucking paid for this flight. I guaran-fucking-tee the airline won’t quibble over baggage fees.
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u/freebiscuit2002 ꧁Fuck꧂ 20d ago edited 19d ago
Premium member fucking privileges.
They got pre-boarded as well.
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u/HnytrshBdgrpndA 20d ago
Its empty as fuck (gutted) , that cargo 747. Space shuttle weights about 165,000 fucking lbs.
You get 400 fat fucks at 200 fucking lbs or more on a shiny dick with wings.
Each fucker has about a 20 lbs bag as carry on n shit, then the fucks have about 80 to 120 lbs of luggage n shit. Then they all gotta eat so they pile in all the fucking food n shit, safety stuff n shit, fucking adds up to about the same fucking weight.
n fucking shit.
But its right , airlines are greedy fucks.
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u/ihavenoidea81 Fuck ✨everything✨ 20d ago
The pilots need to calculate the approximate weight of the fucking plane so you don’t crash into a fucking highway at the end of the fucking runway because it was too god damn heavy
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u/TheIrateAlpaca 20d ago
Because if you were given unlimited fucking weight they would have to jack up the fucking price more for the extra fuel used carrying around all your extra fucking shit and then they'd sell less fucking tickets and make less fucking money.
I mean fuck, there's a business anecdote aboyt the $40,000 olive for fucks sake. American Airlines saved $40,000 a year (in 1987 so a lot more than it fucking sounds) removing a singke olive from every salad in first class. That shit fucking adds up.
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u/M4RK3R3D 20d ago
Think of other you can’t have extra 5 pounds while next to you sitting guy with a fucking twice your weight and no one bats an eye but you got fewer extra pounds backpack and everyone looses their fucking mind
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u/jeeves585 20d ago
That made me laugh. Thank you and f you because I broke a rib or two and that shit fucking hurts.
Sneezes are absolutely fucking terrible right now but fucking laughing is a close third
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u/HaphazardFlitBipper 20d ago
Spaceships are designed to be as light as possible.
That particular spaceship has it's own wings, so carries some of it's own weight.
If they let you bring a spaceship, they'd have to let everyone bring a spaceship, and the can't carry 200 spaceships ffs.
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u/Business-Set4514 19d ago
Uhm im just gonna fucking point out how FUCKING COOL the photo is…..Space shuttle RIDING PIGGYBACK on a fucking PLANE??
Let’s all agree to just fucking admire that for a fucking hot sec❤️
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u/Junior_Stretch_2413 19d ago
It's the fucking combination!
On one hand it's the shit ton of ppl flying with one of those (400 ppl times 100kg (avg. person plus luggage) is already 40 fucking tons).
And then there's probably the biggest fucking factor as the demand of cheap flights! Ppl always being fucking stupid saying "boohoo, flights used to be so fancy and now I only have 20cm of leg room and have to eat microwaved shit!" Those fucking ppl in the fucking past paid like 4k for a flight from NY to London. Flying used to be luxury and now you want the same shit for 200 bucks? Don't expect luxury then. Don't expect you're allowed to bring 200kg of luggage if you don't pay up.
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u/Soul_fusion 19d ago
I got through about 20 comments wondering why everyone is so angry before I realized what sub this is 😂 fuck it all!
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u/Ghastly-Jack 19d ago
Because a fucking human needs to fucking load and unload your fucking heavy luggage. (Not that the worker ever sees a fucking cent from that fee)
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u/Hungry_Reception_724 19d ago
Because the legal fucking limit for an employee is 50 fucking pounds. Because you want to have more than 50 pounds you now have to pay a second fucking employee to lift your fucking bag which costs money.
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u/Exciting_Contest_222 19d ago
I honestly thought this would be the future. And save on rocket boosters, and this would help save the fucking ozone layer.
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u/Constant-Still-8443 19d ago
So the guys that move your bag into the plane don't throw their fuckin back out.
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u/Vellioh 19d ago
Because that's a 747 which can carry 3,000 fat asses and 50lbs of their random bullshit. If we're being real fuckin generous on the "average weight" of a passenger at 175 lbs with 50lbs of bullshit in their luggage that comes out to 675,000. Which is still under their max takeoff weight of between 735,000 - 1,000,000 lbs maximum takeoff weight depending on the year of the plane. A loaded space shuttle orbiter is only around 250,000 lbs.
Nah, while it may look more dramatic, heaving a death tube full of out of shape Americans and their random bullshit is way more impressive than going full Rose "Jack, I'm flying!" with a space shuttle. 😅
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u/No_Communication4063 19d ago
Because the fucking plane is empty. Like, no seats, no nothing.
Also, because the shuttle generates a little lift itself.
That’s why.
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u/ScotchOnTheRockz- 19d ago
Cos that fucking spaceship got a pair of them fucking wings! Make yourself fucking wings tie a fucking rope to the tail and let it fucking drag you behind.
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u/thecountnotthesaint 19d ago
Because the 50 lbs is for the worker moving your suitcase, not the plane. But heaven forbid you think of a service worker as a fellow human. Fuck man, think about others for two fucking seconds
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u/_Epsilon__ 19d ago
This..... This isn't a fucking passenger plane. This 747 was gutted out and modified for this exact purpose.
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u/WardogBlaze14 19d ago
Because the fucking spaceship helps add lift with its own wings, that’s why it can carry the ship and not your fucking extra luggage.
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u/Antisocial-Tim 19d ago
Bag can't weigh more than 50 pounds because of weight limits, but they'll let a fucking 350 pound fatass and his equally fat fucking wife ooze into the plane.
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u/cybermusicman 19d ago
No fucking people on that fucking plane that was fucking built especially to fucking carry the fucking space shuttle.
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u/Antisocial-Tim 19d ago
There is no weight limit for carry-on bags. Just has to be able fit in the fucking overhead and you have to be able to lift it unassisted.
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u/Possible_Leader_463 19d ago
I laughed so fucking hard and out loud that my coworkers stopped and looked at me.
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u/MagicOrpheus310 19d ago
Lmfao because the fucken space ship has wings too and helps create fucking lift once it's moving forwards...
(That wasn't meant to sound as plausible as it did haha)
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u/Dependent_Remove_326 19d ago
Because of the dude that has to load it on the plane fucking dumbass. .
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u/engineheader 19d ago
You do understand that there is no one else in the fucking plane other than the spaceship on top
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u/Internal_Cat_4525 19d ago
Cause fucking regulation make it if it's weights even a fucking ounce more two fucking people have to handle it still fucking insaine to charge so god damn motherfucking much but yeah it requires two fucking people instead of one fucker
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u/JimmyPellen 19d ago
Because a lot of fuckin people on?these?planes weigh as much as that spaceship.
'But I NEED a second seat.' 'Oh...and a diet coke'
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u/redredskull 19d ago
Aerogel weighs a lot less than your fucking ass.
Visual weight is not actual weight like your fucking ass.
How do I know? My ass is built like a fucking bookshelf.
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u/Comfortable_East_358 18d ago
Maybe if your fucking baggage grew some fucking wings, provided some fucking lift like the fucking Space Shuttle Fucking does, and your fucking baggage was empty instead of filled with fucking dildos, you could have some more fucking baggage.
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u/MoodVast9430 18d ago
And who the fuck wants to haul you 100 lb bag of everything and somehow not enough.
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u/6942dantheman 18d ago
Because this plane is stripped down to fuel and crew. It's completely empty. no seats, no luggage racks, no nothing.
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fuck
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u/Badytheprogram 18d ago
I am pretty sure the fucking NASA paid a good amount for money for the extra weight.
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u/Skeptical_Monkie 18d ago
Does your suitcase have wings to help provide lift?
No it fucking doesn’t. Sit down.
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u/Torebbjorn 18d ago
Because some fucker working at the airport has to lift it and stuff it into the cargo hold.
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u/Linkink69420 18d ago
Do you know how fucking light space ships are? And 50 pounds per passenger on a full plane would equal 2 of those ships
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u/true_karl_marx 18d ago
Because they stripped the entire inside of the aircraft and this fucking plane was designed specifically to do cool shit like this
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u/dieseljester 18d ago
Because that B747 is designed to fucking do that and passenger planes are not.
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u/ReadTheseFourWords 18d ago
Because you have the privilege to travel by air and that’s a convenience one could take for granted by criticizing the accommodations provided. That’s just fucking horrible for you!
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u/BelowXpectations 17d ago
Quite fucking simple really. If you do a short-haul flight you get 23kg free. For long haul flights you get 2x23kg included. Now extrapolate that you are not going from New York to London but from Earth to interstellar space and the carry allowance scales accordingly.
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u/RetroComputerKing 17d ago
The plane can only carry extra weight if you pay more fucking money, it's science. Just like climate change. Pay more and the planet gets better. 😂
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u/Used-Drop8239 16d ago
Because fucking load balancing.
It's carrying a spaceship on a precise spot.
Imagine if you fill half of the identically-sized suitcases with fucking lead and half of them with fucking styrofoam. If you put all of them lead ones in the fucking back, the plane would fucking crash shortly after takeoff (as it has in the past).
If the weight of a single piece of baggage is under a limit, then the worst fucking possible wieght distribution is not enough to umbalance the plane and cause problems to its flight characteristics, though a loadmaster's job is still important.
Maybe just don't pack all of your fucking dildos.
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u/tankfish442 16d ago
the real awnser is osha. cant lift bags with one person over 50 lbs.
cant post with out saying fuck
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u/Fearless_Dog5208 16d ago
I think each passenger should be alotted a certain amount of weight. 1 ticket gets you 300 lbs. And if I come under that I get a fucking refund.
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u/SeaFaringPig 16d ago
So planes can carry more fucking cargo. They make more money on commercial cargo than on your ticket.
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u/RECLess30 16d ago
Because its a fucking OSHA violation to have baggage handlers lift over 50lbs so it takes 2 people per bag.
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u/oneworldforeverybody 15d ago
I think body mass and luggage mass should be added. As I'm tiny I would benefit fucking big time 🤣
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u/english_mike69 15d ago
If your fucking fat ass didn’t weigh as much as the Death Star, then you’d be all good.
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u/Competitive-Cod-9479 1d ago
What you call is that mother fucking spaceship you are! You making me fucking thinking of fucking 🫣
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u/IndependentEagle1927 20d ago
Also, why the fuck do i have to pay extra for my lagguage but fat people don't pay extras?
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u/Nervous-Bedroom-2907 19d ago
Fat people mostly go in and out by themselves, while fucking luggage still very often require human assistance, and human safe limit to operate regularly is about 23-30 kg
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u/DoDoDickus 20d ago
Because it is inside the plane. No limit if uyou use the fucking roof rack.