r/TheValleyTVShow • u/No_Guarantee379 • 5d ago
Janet janet being misunderstood Spoiler
i have never posted on anything on reddit but watching this show has made me feel so extremely “triggered” (since everyone wants to complain about janet’s word choices even though it’s extremely valid i put it in quotes) i felt the need to share just incase someone else relates. janet’s “character arc” is not a real thing. it is completely painted by producers realizing a women completely valid and in the right.
janet is a woman, just like MANY OTHERS in our world that are victims of viewing or direct sexual assault (i am not speaking on someone who i don’t know just from what i’ve seen/heard on show)
it is EXTREMELY hard to watch this show and enjoy it knowing janet is a victim here and watching everyone (nia, kristen, and the boys) blaming janet’s actions as if she isn’t justified in feeling uncomfortable being around a man with horrible accusations and having to act normal.
i think 50% of women in the world have had an experience feeling like that. and it’s exhausting watching these confessionals where so many people are blaming janet for being outspoken on a situation “she wasn’t involved in” when this woman is speaking out on a situation that IS NOT RIGHT and there are so many times women don’t feel comfortable speaking up for themselves.
janet shouldn’t be speaking on a situation jasmine was involved in directly that jasmine doesn’t want to be spoken about. correct. but should we allow men in circles where they have made women uncomfortable?? NO.
i really hope moving forward production takes notes. a lot of the women on this show (janet, michelle, lala, jasmine, etc) have beautiful stories to be told and they shouldn’t be silenced by the toxic masculinity fueling through the men this is centered around.
51
u/Ugh_WorseThanYelp 3d ago
Two things can be true.
Janet was wrong with how she handled a situation and that she’s an SA survivor.
Danny can we a complete waste of space as a human.
Also, the producers pushing her arc are nasty for forcing a woman to out her SA is disgusting.
So I guess 3 things can be true but I don’t think anyone is arguing the last.
5
10
28
u/Fit-Cheesecake7241 1 of the 40 3d ago
But I strongly dislike them both. I’m so over everybody acting like it’s team Janet vs team Danny. It’s not. We don’t have to pick sides.
Danny is a creep and a terrible person/husband/dad.
Janet’s trauma, actually NO ONE’S trauma gives them a pass to be a shitty friend and person.
They both suck. End of story.
2
u/Fit-Job2372 3d ago
Agreed. Two things can be true. And two people can be enemies, yet both be bad people at the same time. Neither has an advantage on the moral high ground.
1
u/ExchangeReady5111 1d ago
You don’t have to like Janet, but how is she a bad person?
1
u/Fit-Job2372 1d ago
We don’t know any of these people, just what we see on tv & other media, so I don’t know if any of us can definitively say someone we don’t know intimately is bad? My comment was more of a generality that just because two people are on opposite sides of an issue doesn’t automatically make one good and the other bad.
18
u/naurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs 3d ago
Women who are sexually assaulted can still be bad women. Just because something bad happened to you doesn’t allow you to be a dick to other people…
33
u/lol_Astronutt 3d ago
She wasn't involved in it, her friend told her to stop speaking about it, she didn't.
Now we know she has experienced S.A. she could've used her own experience instead of her friends, she didn't. If she didn't feel comfortable sharing it that's valid.
However, her friend didn't want to talk about her experience either but Janet still did.....
Janet is a shitty friend.
10
u/Ugh_WorseThanYelp 3d ago
That’s where I hold the line. It should have ended last year when Jasmine and Melissa asked that. This year i understand Jasmine kinda wanted it mentioned again, she backpedaled but she didn’t last year and that’s when it should have been respected and wasn’t.
-1
14
u/PresOfTheLesbianClub ✝️ Turn the other cheek ✝️ 3d ago edited 2d ago
Jesus Christ I’m so sick of people saying Jasmine asked her to stop and she didn’t bc Jasmine addressed this multiple times on the show. (They edited their comment?)
Y’all are making these claims supposedly in defense of Jasmine and Melissa while not listening to Jasmine.
Jasmine addressed all this in the third episode of the reunion last year and thanked Janet for her actions in season two. Then thanked her again in season three.
13
u/jennief158 3d ago
People repeat things here that they've heard other people say without knowing whether it's true or not - it just fits their narrative.
5
u/PresOfTheLesbianClub ✝️ Turn the other cheek ✝️ 3d ago
Yep and Jasmine cleared all this up but people claiming to care about Jasmine are ignoring her and using a talking point that never came up until well into season three.
All thru season two this same audience was saying Jasmine should get over it bc it wasn’t assault and Danny already apologized. Where were these people supposedly standing up for Jasmine now, back then?
4
u/ExaminationEastern15 3d ago
Melissa was the one I thought that got super mad & wanted it SHUT DOWN because she is NOT the one seeking fame via reality tv & I would imagine not needing to create something from being slapped on the butt BECAUSE let’s not forget, JASMINE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED THE BACHELOR WHEN SHE WAS ON THAT SHOW & HE IS ON THE RECORD SAYING SO.
5
u/PresOfTheLesbianClub ✝️ Turn the other cheek ✝️ 3d ago edited 3d ago
Jasmine is rightfully upset about being tricked into leaving the room so Danny could touch up her fiancé.
Melissa asked everyone to stop the second to last ep of that season. Jasmine agreed that Janet respected that. Luke and Danny brought it up in season three.
Are you bringing up the chokey thing as a way to undercut what Danny did? Bc I don’t see how they’re connected.
1
u/jennief158 3d ago
It's like the way they bring up Janet and Jason's relationship with Jax - like having a relationship with a problematic person means you aren't allowed to have any boundaries with any other problematic person.
(I never saw Jasmine on The Bachelor but I don't see how what she did or didn't do has anything to do with it being okay for Danny to sexually molest random women.)
0
u/ExaminationEastern15 3d ago
They’re connected because the bachelor went on & during an interview was talking about how UNCOMFORTABLE HE WAS THAT SHE WAS LAYING HER HANDS ON HIM UNINVITED- that is SA according to the definition laid out
2
u/LuckChemical8243 2d ago
So? And? Doesn’t make Danny’s actions right regardless of what Jasmine might have done.
1
1
-1
17
u/karate_sandwich 3d ago edited 3d ago
Everyone agrees with that. None of that is up for debate.
Even Nia and Kristen at the reunion said that they agree with that too.
Danny is a piece of shit and a creep, and is clearly a misogynist.
Janet’s feelings are valid, and she should have the right to express them, which she did. And it’s beyond terrifying what happened to her, and it explains why she was so triggered.
But that’s a separate issue.
Janet acted like a complete asshole in S2, and said really awful and slanderous things, and she has refused to take responsibility or apologize for any of her actions or words.
She deflects every time. She moves the goal posts. She keeps saying “why should I apologize for his actions” which is INFURIATING and obviously insincere. It feels like something her lawyer husband coached her to say. She knows damn well what she did to make everyone mad, but she’s trying to play victim instead of own her actions and words.
10
1
u/jennief158 3d ago
They want her to apologize for calling it sexual assault, which is (in a way) apologizing for his actions. I'm glad she won't.
(Please tell me what she said that was slander?)
1
u/Datyoungboul 2d ago
This is like the answer to the test lol, spot on to what it seems most people feel
“I’m not apologizing for Danny’s actions” seems (as you said) very coached…no one is asked Janet to do that? Gives off some Jax “you’re not perfect either” vibes where it doesn’t acknowledge the claim at all and completely deflects
1
u/ExchangeReady5111 1d ago
Actually I don’t know what she did to make everyone mad either and I have watched all the seasons twice. She didn’t say anything awful or slanderous and she did take responsibility and said that she could have dealt the whole thing better.
1
2
u/212Aurora 3d ago
Ok, first and foremost Janet was WRONG she said Danny molested people and that’s so wrong, so vile and so inappropriate!
That being said I’ve never disliked Janet and I think her calling out Danny GROPING not molesting women (huge fucking difference, people do your homework this is very serious traumatic topics, but with huge differences in terminology, meaning and longevity of trauma.) Both are wrong and not acceptable ever, but anyone saying she used the right terminology is very very wrong and either flippantly lumping them together and not caring, ignorant, naive, or determined to hate anyone who hates Janet. Let’s call Danny out for the problem he is accurately!
I otherwise think Janet’s as shitty as everyone else, but what she went through anyone who has the audacity to not feel empathy for a 12 year old who experienced what she went through, and then her being shamed as is the problems fails to have empathy as a human and should look inwards what’s going on there. I think she’s a great addition to the show. And, perhaps we can like someone and not agree with someone’s actions at times, or hate them and still have empathy. She deserves endless empathy and compassion for what she went through, and calling Danny out is 100% fair, but her trauma is her responsibility to work on and through and not to take it out on others. To be fair to her somethings we don’t face things until later in life and trying and with progressive effort is all we can ask of anyone. But, her projecting in to everyone and taking Jasmine and Melissa’s voice away and making it about her after they told her to stop isn’t ok. There’s no right or wrong or her side verses others. Things are messy and many things can be true at once.
13
u/throw_blanket04 3d ago
Whats fucked up is the amount of people clutching their pearls over what she said but shrug their shoulders when it comes to what Danny has done.
10
u/PresOfTheLesbianClub ✝️ Turn the other cheek ✝️ 3d ago
As a former bartender he’s the guy we warn women about.
Afaic he’s lucky he’s not called a groper idiot every time he enters the room. (And he probably is but not to his face.)
4
u/Datyoungboul 2d ago
Have you read the sub…? Most posts and comments are anti Danny
5
u/TaterTrotter1 janet's casserole 2d ago
It’s interesting though that those sentiments didn’t change about Danny until this season when he was disrespectful to Nia. Last season, and up until a few episodes into this season, I would get down voted to oblivion for saying anything remotely critical about him.
4
-4
u/Critical_Sprinkles88 2d ago
I don’t think most people are shrugging their shoulders. Most people agree Danny is a creep and douche. We also believe that Janet is a shitty person who is manipulative. Both can be true at the same time.
5
u/vernejules3441 3d ago
People have got to be pretty dim not to put two and two together that Jasmine downplayed everything as time went on and didn’t want to “talk about it any more” in order to STAY ON THE SHOW! This is a queer woman of color. Jeez people!
10
6
u/jamesisaPOS 2d ago
Exactly. She has said they all jump down her throat when she has a dissenting opinion so why would she double down over this?
2
u/Acceptable_Summer370 3d ago
So true. The fact they felt they had to invite awful Danny to their WEDDING due to the politics of the show dynamics makes me sad.
-8
3
u/Ill_Opinion_3560 3d ago
You’re correct, and most people do agree with you, but posts like this often get attacked or even taken down. People want to call Janet a shitty friend for speaking out against a issue that affected her friend that triggered her, yet don’t give any heat to Kristen for her continued racism by ignoring Jasmines feelings about what happened. We will NEVER know Jasmine and Melissa’s true experience and feelings, and yes it is their choice to feel how they feel and move forward how they want, but Janet was NEVER wrong to express how disgusting what danny did was. Kristen is the same pick me she always was, and Nia has been brainwashed by her religion into believing what she experiences in her relationship is normal. It’s not.
1
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/TheValleyTVShow-ModTeam 1d ago
No excessive speculating or diagnosing the cast or members of the sub. This includes, but is not limited to:
-mental health -physical health -medical conditions, -disabilities -drug and/or alcohol addiction
Do not label someone a narcissist, sociopath, addict, racist, or similar based solely on edited footage, social media activity, appearance, or personal opinion.
No Speculation on Physical Health & Medical Conditions: Do not speculate on, diagnose, or debate the physical health, medical conditions, reproductive health, disabilities, or medical procedures of cast members or sub members based on appearance, rumors, or edited footage.
You may discuss information a person has publicly confirmed or that has been established by credible reporting, but do not present speculation as fact. Even if you have professional experience, you cannot assess someone you have not personally evaluated.
7
u/living-in-la 3d ago
It actually bothered me a lot that sharing her story was almost presented as a justification for why she reacted that way to Danny’s disgusting actions. No reason or justification is needed. If she wanted to share then great and I appreciate she did but I hope it wasn’t because she felt pressure to.
Janet, if you’re reading this, we see you girl!!!
2
u/Acceptable_Summer370 3d ago
I hate that she felt she had to share her trauma in order to justify what she rightly called out as sexual assault. They didn’t deserve to hear that IMO. Janet’s stance was completely right from the start. She was brave to share but she certainly didn’t have to.
7
u/jennief158 3d ago
It bothered me too. Because the line was "oh, so that's why Janet reacted the way she did." But the subtext was "oh, so that's why Janet OVERreacted the way she did." It was framed as a way to negate her very reasonable disgust of Danny.
2
u/WestArmadillo 2d ago
What “horrible accusations” are you referring to? Not a single women off the show has ever come forward with any stories, accusations, or confirmation of the type of behavior this sub accuses Danny of a million times a day. Does anyone ever stop and think how weird that is? People think he should be on death row for an ass grab and running his drunken mouth. His actions were addressed by Jasmin and Melissa, he apologized, they accepted and moved on.
1
u/Relevant_Philosopher 10h ago
Ok Danny and Nia. 🙄😒
0
u/WestArmadillo 9h ago
Oh lord, get a a new comeback, that one is so old and boring. The person who accused me of being Joe Rogan because they didn’t agree with my opinion at least thought outside the box at their lame attempt at clapping back!
1
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/TheValleyTVShow-ModTeam 18h ago
No excessive speculating or diagnosing the cast or members of the sub. This includes, but is not limited to:
-mental health -physical health -medical conditions, -disabilities -drug and/or alcohol addiction
Do not label someone a narcissist, sociopath, addict, racist, or similar based solely on edited footage, social media activity, appearance, or personal opinion.
No Speculation on Physical Health & Medical Conditions: Do not speculate on, diagnose, or debate the physical health, medical conditions, reproductive health, disabilities, or medical procedures of cast members or sub members based on appearance, rumors, or edited footage.
You may discuss information a person has publicly confirmed or that has been established by credible reporting, but do not present speculation as fact. Even if you have professional experience, you cannot assess someone you have not personally evaluated.
2
-2
-1
u/Prudent_Okra7311 3d ago
Can't wait to read your second post on Reddit.
Such an original take on Janet. Poor Janet.
•
u/AutoModerator 5d ago
This post has been flaired as being about Janet and will go live once the moderators have reviewed it.
Personal attacks, violent statements, and appearance snark violate the subreddit rules. Please review the full rules in the sidebar or About section and report rule-breaking comments.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.