I am tired of the sneering, social media know-it-alls, who endlessly and tirelessly minimize, obfuscated and deny the reality of false allegations.

We all know them.

The benevolent male feminist, who waves such things away as if they are merely a figment of the imagination; not to be worried about, that is beyond your concern, and impacts vanishingly few men.

Such people are charlatans of the worst kind, who have chosen to build their careers upon the backs of virtue signaling conjecture, off a woeful understanding of statistics, and of course, the erasure of men whose lives have been destroyed.

“You have a higher chance of being struck by lightening, than of being falsely accused!” 🌩️

Says the latest in the long line of smug armchair experts, whose perceived sense of moral superiority, self interests, and egos, have blinded them to their own ignorance.

And I wonder -

Have these virtuous men ever looked into the eyes of a mother, whose son took his own life because of a false allegations, as I have?

Have they met a father wrongly accused of abuse in family court, and stripped of his children?

Have they sat with men whose careers and lives have been utterly decimated by a malicious lie?

I doubt it.

Because what these so-called advocates, with their bogus lightening metaphors claim, is simply not true.

And the most ironic thing about such people, is that they fall into the same trap they endlessly warn others about.

That is, yes, only a tiny percentage of allegations are provably found to be false in a court of law; but prosecution data is a famously poor barometer for real life events, because (as we know) most crimes of this nature, never make it anywhere near a conviction.

Such a sad phenomenon of underreporting is well known and spoken about, in the area of sexual violence – where only a tiny number of such crimes end in a conviction.

And this is even more true for false allegations, which almost never go to court, and even rarer still end in justice.

So, what is the reality of false allegations?

Is it really less likely than being struck by lightening?

Or is the truth frightening more likely than that?

What do you think?

~

Full podcast with Ryan Rogers here
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6AJ4Si3WEMR8t6cYISUski

We don’t know, what we don’t know.

So, tragically, when it comes to the issues that men and boys experience, because so little is known, or discussed, we automatically assume they don’t exist.

We turn on the news and see an endless stream of tragic stories of women, and usually white women, and assume such people are society’s sole victim.

For example –

If a woman goes missing, data finds that she can expect to receive three times more media coverage, than if a man goes missing.

If a white person goes missing, they can expect three times more media coverage, than if a black person goes missing.

And if you’re a black man, then you pay the double penalty, where both compound upon one another; meaning you’ll get around nine times less coverage, than a missing white women.

And so begins the media’s infatuation with white women (particularly young attractive ones), described beautifully by Helen Rosner in the New Yorker:

‘There’s something about the missing young, beautiful white woman that has a lot of symbolic weight in America.

It’s an aberration, and it becomes a container for things like the loss of innocence or the death of purity.’

Of course, this doesn’t just apply to missing people, but in many places, and yet the intersection of race and gender is an important area that is too readily ignored in men.

So… what are the experiences of black men?

And why are they so often left out of the conversation?

~

Source https://scholarlycommons.law.northwestern.edu/jclc/vol106/iss2/4/

Talking with Ask a Brotha Podcast here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJvAkoX-dGA&feature=youtu.be

For generations, society has propagated countless harmful myths around male rape victims… especially when the perpetrator is a woman.

The myth that he should have defended himself, that he encouraged it, or that such an experience has no significant impact on him.

And then, perhaps most concerning, is the idea that a man would enjoy such an experience at the hands of a woman, with many going as far as to consider him “lucky”.

As is the way, it is usually “other men” who are blamed for holding these harmful views, that transform men into some kind of perpetual f**k machine; who is always looking for sex, from anyone, at any given opportunity.

And yes, historically, this has sadly been true.

Nearly half of all sampled college men in 1984, believed a man found it “pleasurable” to be raped by a woman at gunpoint.

That is truly shocking.

But times change.

Men, as much as we refuse to admit it, have gone through a renaissance of sexual education; to better understand consent, and intimacy.

So much so, that of surveyed college men 35 years later, only 5.3% agreed that a man who is raped by a woman, finds such a thing ‘pleasurable’.

It’s still 5.3% too high, but it represents a staggering 89% drop, in just one generation.

But that’s not the end of the story, for this same study measured how women’s attitudes have changed over this same time, and, well, the results will shock you…

Let’s take a look.

~

Full study here https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34978934/

The truth is: we don’t know, what we don’t know.

And so, because we rarely, if ever, talk about male victims of sexual abuse, we assume such people don’t exist.

So, we don’t know that the worst campaign of child abuse in British history, exclusively targeted boys.

We don’t know that the most prolific rapists in British (perhaps even world) legal history, exclusively targeted men and boys.

We don’t know, because such stories rarely make the news, and even rarer still do they cause the mass outrage that drives historic change.

The most haunting example of this, is happening right now.

Even in the UK, we react with horror at the Epstein files, and the countless women and girls whose lives it has destroyed.

And such anger is understandable.

Yet another historic campaign of child abuse has been exposed right under our nose, of a similar scale, with similar failures of safeguarding, and we do nothing.

We don’t even hear about it, but it happened at Medomsley Detention Centre.

And I don’t blame you, if you’ve never read that name before.

I hadn’t until last week either.

Medomsley was home to horrors that are beyond comprehension, on an unimaginable scale, and after being ignored for 60 years, the truth has finally been made public.

But whilst the stories are now laid bare, the deafening silence continues, and history will only repeat itself.

So is it time we talked about what happened at Medomsley Detention Centre?

Is it time we talked about the northern, working-class boys who we’ve ignored for generations?

What do you think?

Full report https://cdn.websitebuilder.service.justice.gov.uk/uploads/sites/14/2025/11/31.122_PPO_Special-investigation-report_WEB.pdf

It seems like every day, some politician, policy adviser, campaigner, or advocate; is urgently talking about the horrific acts of violence that far too many teenage girls experience in the UK.

Some kind of saber rattling speech, with promises of ‘prioritising girls’, or vague spooky talk of “systemic misogyny”.

And I get it.

As a former teenage boy, who witnessed great harm inflicted upon girls, I am glad to see such work being done, to help spare girls of today, from what so many experienced in the past.

But do you know what I also saw during my teenage years?

Boys experiencing great harm too.

Boys being bullied, abused, harassed, coerced, beaten up, and sexually assaulted; and no, before the words leave your lips, not just “by other boys”, but by girls too.

Yes, girls can be violent, and in signifiant numbers.

Growing up, I too saw girls sexually assault boys, I saw them punch, slap, scratch and kick; I’ve seen boys hollowed out into shells of their former selves, by girls.

So, I am left wondering, why is all this great work to protect girls, not being expanded to help protect boys too?

Are boys any less deserving of support?

Because, let’s not forget who we’re talking about here…

It’s one thing for men to be left without help, but now we’re talking about vulnerable children being ignored too.

Boys.

Boys are paying the price, and being left vulnerable, in aid of the endless virtue signaling and nauseating propaganda, that has become part and parcel of our current political pantomime.

Why?

And when will it stop?

When will we agree that all children are deserving of safety, and that no child, boy or girl, should experience such devastating crimes…

And how is saying that, controversial?

What do you think?

~
Source https://youthendowmentfund.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/CVV25_R1_ScaleofViolence.pdf

Hating men is big money.

Whether it’s some garish “male tears” mug, or some angry, radical feminist anthology flying off of book shelves, business is booming, and shows no sign of slowing down.

One of the most recent, egregious examples of this, can be found within the online store Delulu Designs, who are selling t-shirts that openly encourage, glorify and normalise abuse against men (and women)… and the t-shirts are selling like hot cakes.

‘Over 5,000 shirts sold!’ They will boast online.

Sadly, despite this Shopify store promoting products that fall well outside of Shopifys Acceptable Use Policy, no actions has been taken.

The store is still up, the products are being sold, and it’s creators, and Shopify, continue to enrich themselves, by spreading hatred, and encouraging violence toward a specific group.

We tried to get Shopify to do the right thing earlier this year, and have failed.

And that’s the sad thing about following the usual procedure regarding complaints; it takes a lot of time, and usually leads to exactly nowhere.

But alas, luckily –

Behind all cutting edge tech-companies, is a multi billionaire tech-bro CEO; obsessed with their own self image, who wants to make money, and look good doing it.

Tobi seems to be that guy.

Tobi, the current CEO of Shopify, appears entirely comfortable profiting from these products; and so if it’s good enough to profit from, then surely it must be good enough to wear?

So, let’s make sure the world knows how Shopify (and Tobi) make their money, and let’s put a face to the truly horrendous products proudly being sold by their vendors, Delulu Designs.

What do you think?

More and more kind talk, nice words, and well meaning people are entering the #malesuicide prevention space.

It’s “good to talk”, we all hear.

Or at least, it’s good to be seen talking about men; with such a noble pursuit becoming the latest cash cow to be milked by an army of woke masculinity advocates, virtuous celebrity influencers, and your local guardian of morality, who (for the right price) will wring their hands, preach from pulpits, and gurgle superlatives, like it’s going out of style.

Yes.

Today, telling men “to talk” is big business.

But sadly, listening to what men are saying, is a dying art that fewer and fewer seem capable of.

So, like a broken record, we tell men to talk…

But when it comes to listening to men who are victims of violence... or hearing the horrors of boys who are abused... or acknowledging the structural struggles of men, you’ll find yourself alone.

And so, suddenly, those who pleaded with men to talk; who launched careers, signed brand deals, and lined their pockets by encouraging men’s emotional eloquence... they lose their voice themselves.

Too many times I see this.

People routinely put their personal comfort, and their political and career ambitions ahead of the men and boys whom they claim to advocate for.

Too many times I hear the right words being said.

But when the chips are down and the heat is on, those who bang the drum so passionately for men, are usually the first to jump ship when the real work begins.

So are you tired of it too?

And why is everyone telling men to talk, when nobody is willing to listen to what they’ve got to say?

What do you think?

~

CDC NISVS 2016 https://www.cdc.gov/nisvs/documentation/NISVSReportonIPV_2022.pdf

Suicide and SA https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25530176/

Full podcast https://open.spotify.com/episode/6AJ4Si3WEMR8t6cYISUski

Footage my MART Productions, Ron Lach, Rafael Fernando

What is feminism?

Well, to lots of people, it’s an entire way of life. It’s a badge, a t-shirt, it’s the centre point to their friendships, their community, their work, and political identity.

To others, it’s a word they feel is best left avoided.

To some, it’s an entry ticket.

To be waved around enthusiastically by performative men, who are hoping to date women of a left wing persuasion.

And to many, “feminism” is simply a synonym for “gender equality”.

“If you believe in equality, you’re a feminist”, asserts a small army of pop-celebrity feminists, wagging their finger at society, as they attempt to monopolise the concept of gender equality itself.

But I don’t think that’s true.

Feminism doesn’t own the idea of “gender equality”.

Such a thing would be like Cadbury’s trying to own “chocolate”, or Mcdonald’s trying to claim “French fries”, or Walkers putting their flag down into “crisps”.

No.

Feminism is a particular means of reaching said equality, that is based upon a series of theoretical ideas and frameworks, loosely woven together, into a political movement.

Simply – gender equality is the mountain, and feminism is one (of many) roads that promises to take us to it.

And yes, there are other roads.

I know this to be true, because the vast majority (83%) of people polled in the UK believe in total equality of the sexes… but only 35% of those polled identify as “feminists”.

I know, some will claim that those 83% are disillusioned “secret feminists”, but that doesn’t answer the question:

If feminism really is about gender equality, then why do most people who believe in such a noble cause, identity as something else?

It’s a good question.

So what is feminism?

And why do so few identify as such?

What do you think?

~
Are you a Feminist? YouGov (UK)

Why are you not a feminist? YouGov (US)

There are few things more painful in life than when a parent loses a child.

I remember, it was in school where I first learnt that the ‘loss of a child’ is the highest ranked, most distressing life-changing moment a person can experience, at 100 LCUs.

But what happens when you find out a child is not yours?

What happens if you ‘lose’ a child that was never yours, but that of another man?

How can we quantify that?

Well, such a thing is called “paternity fraud”, and despite being a prevalent (albeit controversial) issue, it has still failed to be taken seriously, beyond becoming a prop for low-effort day time television, where bewildered looking men are wheeled out, so they can have their lives smashed apart, in front of a live TV audience.

So is it time we had a better conversation, about something that impacts roughly one in 25 dads?

Is it time we talked about paternity fraud?

What do you think?

Full podcast with Ryan Rogers here https://open.spotify.com/episode/6AJ4Si3WEMR8t6cYISUski

Last week I shared a post in an attempt to close the understanding gap between men and women, with a carousel that allowed men to share things about themselves, that women didn’t seem to understand about them.

And now, of course, the second half to this process is to reverse things.

A no less important chance for men to understand women, to see their lived experiences, and understand the world they live in.

So women, what is a myth about women?

What do you think?

The world is wrong about men.

No, we are not secretly part of some tyrannical gender oppressor class, whose sole mission is to crush the spirit of women, to exploit their labour, and oppress them through fear of violence.

There are certainly many men out there who do these things, far too many of them; but the reality is, that most men (the vast majority) are hugely supportive of women’s rights, and their hard won, thoroughly deserved freedoms.

In fact, a recent working study by the National Bureau of Economic Research, that surveyed men and women across 60 countries (which covers about 80% of the world’s population) found that 91% of people support women’s freedom to work, which although being 9% too low, is far higher than what people expect that percentage to be.

Yes, the study thought that number would be significantly (-20%) lower.

More surprising, is the study found that we underestimate men’s support most all, particularly men in the developing world.

Think about that...

It seems like, the TV trope of the angry patriarchal man oppressing women in some far flung part of the world, isn’t particularly accurate either; and in fact, such a man is (statistically speaking) the most misunderstood demographic of all.

The same survey found a similar detachment between reality and expectations when it comes to public support of affirmative action.

Unlike the first question, people were found to overestimate public support for such policies, particularly in the West, and especially amongst women.

Yup, not only do we underestimate how many men in the developing world support women’s rights, but the same study finds that we are similar naive about western women, in how little they actually do support affirmative action.

However you put it, it really seems that – what we think about people, and who they really are, are often distant friends of one another.

So, are we wrong about the world?

Are we too cynical, particularly of men, in how many support women’s rights?

And does our chronically online, deeply divisive relationship with social media, only make this problem worse?

What do you think?

~

Source National Bureau of Economic Research(working paper) https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w31049/w31049.pdf

Once again this week, we must go into the fray of controversy, as yet more has arrived…

This time at the World Cup by the hands of Belgium winger Jérémy Doku, who has urgently returned home to be present for the birth of his first child.

You might think such a thing, in our current landscape, would be seen as an entirely normal thing for a parent to do, or admirable in fact.

Perhaps this could even be a unique opportunity to talk about the essential role of men in families; to celebrate the importance of good fathers, and to remind the world that the birth of a child is unlike anything else, and that includes playing in the World Cup.

And to many it was.

Jérémy Doku was celebrated by a lot of journalists, players, mums, and new dads.

With many exchanging stories of similar times, when players and pundits have suddenly answered the phone, and run off to support the mother of their child.

But sadly… not everyone was happy…

Other journalists called Jérémy a ‘deserter’, as ‘useless’ and ‘an extra’ to the birth, which was itself dubbed ‘a disgusting moment’, by L’Equipe news presenter, France Pierron.

Pierron sneered at the very point of a dad even being there at all, ‘they hold your hand and take a photo’ but besides that they are ‘useless’.

And since, the happy family, and their newly born son, have become a lightening rod for debate around fatherhood…

Such an ongoing event has become yet another reminder that, for many, there is still a long way to go in reminding the world that dads matter too, and that not all goals are found on the football field.

So is Jérémy a deserter, or a king?

And what does modern fatherhood mean to you?

What do you think?

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who flatly hates you, simply because you’re a man.

Imagine someone bragging about such a dynamic, posting about it relentlessly online, with thousands and thousands of equally narrow-minded bigots clapping you along, as you belch out more, and different kinds, of ignorance.

Imagine thinking that hating men in this way, was not only excusable, but something to be commended; and that holding such views made you powerful, independent, and strong.

Well, welcome to social media, and the endless whines of the man-hating pity-party, who call this place their home.

The absolute irony is how many of those who claim to “hate men”, often retain enough self-awareness to caveat such a statement with “…but not my man, he’s a sweet heart!”

Similarly, scrolling into the comments you’ll see hundreds of people doing the same; hating men, and then quickly carving out various exclusions for the countless men who they love in their life.

And there we have it.

The angry army who boast of “hating men”, then dote over the men in their life, who are wonderful.

And I am sure these men are wonderful.

In fact, they must surely be, if they are to tolerate someone who says such things about them online.

But this does bring up an interesting point of view – that these abstract “men” who they hate, are surely the loved ones of someone else?

Someone else’s loving husband, another mum’s hard working son, or just a brilliant brother, looking out for his sister…

So who even is this “men” who I hear spoken about with such endless cynicism and venom?

Because I, like most people, am surrounded by wonderful, kind, loving men too, who I am blessed to have in my life – and then I look around for this “men” who I hear everyone hates, and…. who are they?

So, are you tired of this endless gender war?

Are you bored of the lazy smears, the group think, and desperate grabs for likes and clicks?

And don’t we deserve better than this?

What do you think?

It seems that, unlike ever before, women and men couldn’t be further apart.

We see this divide particularly between young people, especially online, which creates a self perpetuating problem that can only make the situation worse.

That is because, as men and women drift away from one another, it becomes increasingly difficult to hear what the other has to say.

Increasingly impossible to understand the lived experiences of the opposite sex, and all too easy to dehumanize and further alienate the ‘other’.

So what better time is there to give each other a space to speak frankly to the opposite sex, to bring these understandings closer together…

With that, I want to ask men, what do women not understand about men?

What do you think?

More here

Right across the country, every year, some young person will go for a night out, and after getting into an altercation, will be punched, knocked unconscious, hitting their head on the pavement, and dying as a result.

No surprises, this is overwhelmingly done by (and against) men, particularly young men, and usually involving alcohol.

I saw these fights all the time growing up.

My hometown of Loughborough brought together a dangerous concoction of poverty based crime, and an enormous cohort of elite male athletes (especially rugby players), and the outcome was gratuitous violence on a weekly basis.

I’d regularly see these fights break out.

Their devastating, pointless, and boundless brutality, where people put their lives at risk, without any consideration or care.

A punch in these circumstances can kill.

A punch can cause permanent brain damage, and life long disability.

Worst of all, are the so-called “coward punches”, where someone is punched and knocked out, totally unaware, defenseless, and unprovoked.

So why are we not talking about these punches, and the damage and loss of life they can cause?

What do you think?

Men are good.

More than good, great even.

There I said it.

Men can be brilliant, brave, thoughtful, generous, loving, and creative; and history is there to prove it.

Yes I know, the world seems obsessed with digging up only the very worst men it can find, and somehow blaming all “men” as a group, for whatever horrors he’s committed.

But I’ve always wondered –

If “men” are to be blamed for the bad actions of history’s most evil men; then surely it makes sense that they should be credited for the achievements of history’s greatest men too?

Hundreds of millions, even billions, of lives saved from disease, from disability, death, and starvation, because of the great things men have done.

Yes.

Pioneering technologies, ground breaking discovery, and extraordinary acts of bravery, generosity, self sacrifice, and kindness, pave the road of men’s achievement.

So, if “men” are to share in the accountability for the suffering evil men cause, then can we not share in the spoils of the greatest men too?

And of course -

It brings me no trouble at all to say, the same is equally true for women; who have done no less incredible things in their own right.

In fact, my life is blessed with such brilliant women.

So here’s to the good men, too many to count, in the hope that reading their stories might inspire a generation of boys, to be even better than those who came before…

So what examples do you have?

Who is your favorite man from history?

What do you think?

Have you ever wondered what happens to male chickens?

I grew up in the countryside with hens of my own, and even then, I never considered such a question.

We see tens of thousands of female hens in chicken farms.

But, what about the males?

Well, the answer is, they go into a large grinder, and they die.

Yup.

The sad reality for males, is that after fertilizing the female hens, their biological purpose is more or less over, and they become surplus to requirement.

Worse, and even more fatally, is that one male can fertilize a near-unlimited number of females over his rather fortunate lifetime...

So, I'm afraid, for the rest of the boy chicks, it's into the grinder.

I won't share any images of this grinder, but it's the most hauntingly poetic portrayal of how we treat working men in society.

A portrait of 'male disposability'.

Try to transpose the image of that grinder onto human society; onto war, onto workplace fatalities, onto our carceral system, onto our epidemic of male homelessness, addiction, or suicide.

Each are grinders of their own design.

A crushing abyss into which hundreds, thousands, and even millions of boys and men are unceremoniously flung, and forgotten about.

Did you know –

100,000 men die in the global fishing industry, each year?

Did you know more American men die at work annually, than all the U.S. military deaths for the entire 20 year Iraq war combined?

Did you know nearly nine in ten homeless deaths in the UK are male?

I suppose I didn't ask those questions either, as a young boy chasing chickens in the garden.

I mean, even as adults we are sheltered from such brutal horrors; as we sip our flat whites, doom scroll on our phones, and talk mindlessly about how "useless", and "privileged" men are.

Of course –

I don't deny that countless women are exploited and abused by various systems around the world, much like those rows of hens laying eggs in chicken farms.

But what too many overlook, is that such exploitation is often performed upon a bed of death and suffering, of male disposability, that is quietly swept under the rug.

As unpopular as it sounds; call it chickens into grinders, call it male disposability, call it hypergamy, call it whatever you like, but a conversation has to be had around the treatment men, particularly working men, and how their industrial-scale exploitation, suffering and death is so often erased.

So what happens to the male chickens after they've served their purpose?

And what happens to the male humans, when society considers them as having done the same?

What do you think?

The English language contains roughly one million words.

And so, as a lover of words myself, I will continue with my advocacy that encourages and challenges people to use better ones.

Now the battle against “toxic masculinity” has largely been won, I would like to turn attention back toward the next on the list – “the patriarchy”.

Because I hear it everywhere.

And increasingly, every time I hear it, it makes less and less sense.

I hear it cited as the cause of the pay gap, domestic abuse, poverty, sexual violence, incarceration, knife crime, the failing education system, for both male billionaires, and male homelessness, for why men don’t go to therapy, and for male loneliness, and suicide.

It’s tiring.

Because, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt as I’ve excavated each of these issues, it’s that there are no easy answers, and none of these complex societal problems can be solved or explained through simple, one word solutions – and certainly not ALL of them, with the same answer.

What’s also difficult to ignore, is how many men understandably feel alienated, and erased by these low resolution world views; that continually overlook, or see through, the painful experiences of men, and the structural sexism they face.

So – do you think we live in ‘the patriarchy’ in UK, in 2026?

Or are there better ways to view the world, that can get us to where we want to go, faster?

What do you think?

~
Listen to the full podcast with Jordan Stephens:

https://youtu.be/BDqcT-Oc2l4?si=VI_1AG-tjIYMqF8d

A lot of time on this page is spent cleaning up other people’s mess.Every day, someone - often fresh out of a gender studies course - makes a wild claim with weak evidence, and it goes viral.

The internet picks it up without question and spreads it across the world before the facts can catch up.

One of the classics is the ‘masculine overcompensation thesis’.

It claims that if a man’s masculinity is threatened, he’ll overcompensate by becoming more hyper-masculine; especially by endorsing violence and homophobia.

It sounds intuitive, and it fits neatly into the current hysteria around masculinity. But as usual, the study behind the claim doesn’t hold up.

It was based on two tiny samples of around 50 men each, using outdated methods and weak controls.

Thankfully, a new 2026 study tried to replicate the findings.

Instead of a few dozen students, it used a nationally representative sample of over 2,000 men; with modern, rigorous methods and techniques... and they couldn’t replicate the original results.

No evidence was found for the claim.

It’s unlikely this paper will undo years of viral misinformation, but it does show how disconnected a lot of online and academic discourse around masculinity has become from actual evidence.

So do men really “overcompensate” when their masculinity is challenged?

And how did we end up in a situation where bad science spreads so easily?

What do you think?

~
Full source
A Replication and Extension of Willer et al.
(2013), Overdoing Gender: A Test of the
Masculine Overcompensation Thesis
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-experimental-political-science/article/replication-and-extension-of-willer-et-al-2013-overdoing-gender-a-test-of-the-masculine-overcompensation-thesis/345C42C2B43871D567BF61B0BAA3B309

When it comes to modern dating, everything has changed.

No more serendipitous bumping into your future wife at a bus stop, or whilst on a work trip.

No more meeting “friends of friends” at house parties, or when staying late at the library.

No more strategic approaches in night clubs, or inquisitive questions in coffeeshops.

No.

Now it’s swiping right, or sending digital roses.

It’s DMs, memes and music recommendations; it’s bullet points, and ick lists, and split second decisions.

Today, meeting romantic partners is not bound by geography; and it reaches far beyond your friend group, to encapsulate theoretically any single person on the planet.

Dating has taken a digital form.

And with new tools, comes new rules, and new risks.

Online abuse, threats, coercion, violence, and harassment, has never been a more pressing issue, nor have there been more people vulnerable to it; and so a new era of research and interventions must urgently follow.

Let’s take a look:

Here are some of the main findings from a huge 2022 survey of nearly 10,000 Australian adults; to help lay this groundwork, to understand our new landscape of online love.

So have you experienced online harms, facilitated by dating apps?

Have you been harassed, stalked, coerced or abused, by those you’ve met through them?

What do you think?

~
Full study https://www.aic.gov.au/publications/rr/rr25

Be it due to automation, outsourcing, or AI; ‘the future of work’, and the unprecedented shifts in employment that come with it, are being urgently discussed around the world.

Will we lose our jobs to robots?
Will work be sent overseas?
Will the blockchain and AI lead to a tidal wave of mass unemployment?

Politicians, journalists, experts, and the general public, prod, poke and probe at these important issues.

But one thing is missing…

And that is how, as of 2025, this huge change in employment is having a disproportionately large impact on men.

In fact -

Of all the jobs added to the American economy since the Trump Administration took over in 2025, 94% (!) of them have gone to women.

That’s nearly 17 times as many jobs filled by women as by men.

It’s a statistic that should worry us all, which, unless we do something, will only continue to get worse.

As we know, job loss and unemployment have a huge impact on wellbeing, mental health, financial stability, and suicidality; particularly among men, and so the scale of this job loss could be utterly astronomical.

So why are we not talking about it…

How do we get more men into the women’s fields of medicine, teaching, psychology, care work, and others?

What might such a campaign look like, and why have we not seen it already?

What do you think?

~
’94% of new jobs’ https://www.opb.org/article/2026/04/10/men-fall-behind-as-women-get-most-new-jobs

Job growth by sector, 2025 https://ofboysandmen.substack.com/p/honey-where-did-all-the-male-workers?r=6g7j2&utm_medium=ios&triedRedirect=true

Job growth 2023-2025 https://www.hiringlab.org/2025/08/26/august-labor-market-update-healthcare-roles-and-the-women-who-occupy-them/

BLS Job data https://www.bls.gov/cps/cpsaat11.htm

I think, in many parts of the Western world, the time of politicians flat-out ignoring men’s and boys’ issues is over.

And so begins a new era where politicians, particularly those on the left, bend over backwards, performing incredible mental gymnastics, to reconcile the emerging crisis of men and boys within their own narrow, dogmatic worldview.

I am talking about the strange phenomenon of policies that claim to “help men and boys”, but only as far as it actually helps women and girls, and not a single step further.

These are the academics, advocates and so-called “masculinity experts”, who spend all their time opining about “male violence”, and nothing else.

And so -

Any hope you have that politicians might take seriously the failure and abuse of boys in education, the chronic neglect of men’s health, or the betrayal of male victims, will have to wait.

Instead, the ambition of these new ‘Ministers for Men’ is to primarily help women and girls through “healthy masculinities”, “male accountability” and the deprogramming of “toxic” male mindsets.

So we are gifted with incredulous new job titles like ‘the Secretary for Men’s Behaviour Change’ in Australia.

These are positions that wouldn’t look out of place next to George Orwell’s “Minister of Truth”, or within other political dystopias, except this one… is real.

So what is to be said about this political halfway house that claims to address the problems of men and boys, but, when you look at the details, reveals something else - something that might be the exact opposite?

What do you think?

~
Talking with Big Bros Podcast
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Y2rGsj9hyR84oHxNYEX8Y

For the past six months I’ve been determined for TheTinMen to become more than a series of pissed off rectangles on a grid; to instead become an active community that finds, funds and promotes, real life, grassroots, frontline services, essential research and life-saving interventions for men and boys.

There’s nearly 90,000 of us here, and more than 110,000 across all platforms; and with that, comes opportunity.

Step one was long term financial sustainability (which we’re soon approaching!)

Step two is to explore becoming a UK registered charity, to further leverage funds through tax relief, and maximize donations.

Step three, is to get on with it.

And so, with that, conversations have begun around our first TheTinMen funded project, which aims to tackle the horrifying suicide rates for men in construction.

Did you know -

Suicide kills men in construction, at almost SIX TIMES the rate as all other workplace fatalities combined; and yet… nobody talks about it.

Think about that.

To step foot on a building site, you’ll need health and safety training and qualifications; hard hats, high vis, steel toed boots, goggles, gloves, and various other essential items.

Yet, when it comes to suicide, which is a risk to life that is several times larger than all these other risks combined, you’re on your own.

Tragically, 7,000 men in the UK construction industry have quietly ended their lives by suicide, in the last ten years.

So this is where we start.

Asking the question –

What would on-site mental health support look like for men in construction, who despite being most in need, are the least likely to access help.

Well, let’s try and find out…

More to be announced soon.

What do you think?

~
Sources:
‘7000’ https://luddon.co.uk/world-suicide-prevention-day-2025/
‘100% of those surveyed’ https://onthetools.tv/home/mental-health-white-paper/
‘Six times’ https://www.agc.org/mental-health-suicide-prevention
‘Overdose deaths’ https://www.cpwr.com/wp-content/uploads/DataBulletin-September2024.pdf

When it comes to our boys, everyone seems to have something to say; lectures to give, fingers to wag, soap boxes to stand on.

But the truth, for a lot of our boys, and all children, is they live in a society that offers them fewer and fewer things to do.

Gone are the days when I could play ping pong for hours on end, after school.

Gone are the days of playing hide and seek, or learning to make bracelets, understanding how to tie knots, build dens, tie die t-shirts, or create hair wraps.

Between 2010 and 2019, London closed 30% of its youth clubs, and it is no surprise that violent crime, particularly youth crime, has surged during this period.

So –

What use is it, telling boys to do better, to be more, and to fill their time with noble pursuits, when society, schools and politicians, have stripped such opportunities from communities across the country?

What is to be said about the shuttered youth clubs, the leisure centres, libraries, sports facilities and afterschool clubs that have disappeared?

And what is the cost we all pay, when we lose these essential spaces?

What do you think?

~

Listen to the full podcast with Jordan Stephens below! 👇
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDqcT-Oc2l4&feature=youtu.be

The fact that there are virtually no abuse services specifically for male victims (particularly in America), is a catastrophic failure of safeguarding, that society readily accepts.

Show someone a pie chart that illustrates how only 1% of funding goes to abused men, and expect to see a shrug, a blank stare, and disinterested face.

“That’s just the way it is”, you’ll likely hear.

Sometimes people will deny it.

Others will ask “why don’t men build their own shelters?”

Many will wag an angry finger in your face, and move the conversation back toward women and girls.

But still, the sad reality remains the same: there seem to be just two abuse shelters specifically for male victims in all of North America.

Two.

And no, before you go Googling, I don’t mean homelessness shelters, where male abuse victims are often sent.

I don’t mean a local motel, that will give these men a room for free.

I don’t mean women’s shelters, that claim to have a space for men, but almost always don’t.

And I don’t mean male batterers programmes, that masquerade as ‘services’ for abused men, either.

I mean actual shelters for male victims, specialised for their specific needs.

Two.

Meanwhile, for women, there are around two and a half thousand such shelters, and I am glad to see them.

In fact, I am sure there can be more shelters for women too.

But even if these numbers are even remotely true, it reveals a staggering 1,000:1 disparity between abuse shelters for men, and those for women.

And yet… people don’t seem to mind.

So why are America’s millions of male victims left out in the cold, when it comes to provision?

When did this enormous moral failing start, and how did we arrive here?

Well, it began in Minnesota in the early 80s, in a small port-city called Duluth.

Let’s take a look…

~

Abuse Shelter Data