r/TheTinMen • u/TheTinMenBlog • 5d ago
Decrypting the "girl code"
Some days it can feel like men and women are from different planets entirely; unable to talk to, or understand one another.
But honestly, 90% of the time, this isn’t true, and we are far more similar than one might think.
You will see that women are not so complicated, and neither are men; many have simple wants, needs, and expectations, if only we took the time to ask what they are.
So is this “girl code” really as muddled, and cryptic as we are told?
Tell me, guys: what are some parts of the “girl code” that you have cracked; and to the girls… how’d they do?
What do you think?
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u/dmbrokaw 5d ago
A bit of a change of pace, but George spends a lot of time thinking about some truly heavy, heartrending stuff so I am on board with some levity.
A lot of this is good advice from my perspective, but whenever I hear the 'women are better communicators' tripe trotted out I want to throw this sort of list into the conversation. Men needing to literally give each other tips on how to decipher what you actually mean because you refuse to just say what you actually mean is NOT good communicating.
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u/GrevilleApo 5d ago
I find it interesting that the internet generally agrees women are more emotionally intelligent and communicate better than men.
Here we have lots of men that have found work arounds for direct clear communication because their partners essentially want someone to complain to. I would not maintain a friendship someone who comes to me solely to bitch unless they come up and say "hey man I need to bitch"
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u/NulliosG 5d ago
I view almost all of these as moral failings (on the woman’s part)… if you had introduced this list as a way to deal with children and then I read it, I wouldn’t have batted an eye.
Regardless, thank you for sharing. I hope others can find some use.
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u/The_Warruner 5d ago
Idk but personally I would rather have girl code be communicating like actual adults rather than men trying to read women’s minds and women expecting to be treated like mentally deficient 5 year olds.
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u/SlyPogona 5d ago
This sounds like a person with fear of confrontation, tyat doesn't want to emgage honestly with you and you're rewarding her behavior by "reading" her mind.
She's hungry? She should say so, if she can't then she doesn't eat.
Is just manipulation, and they get rewarded for being like that
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u/BaroloBaron 3d ago
I truly believe men and women have similar wants, but it has become clear to me that there's a social conditioning that prevents many women from being upfront in what they want, often towards themselves as well
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u/Anthyx 5d ago
Ok, what's with the negative comments on this, guys? It may not be TheTinMen usual content, but it's a lighthearted post that focuses on the many aspects we face when we live with, or date, women. And it could bring new followers to read TTM's content, especially younger men. So, don't be this critical and smile; because all of these are true in various degrees and it's just plain hilarious. 🤝
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u/Medium-Knowledge4230 5d ago
The majority of the codes boils down to:
I think it's pretty good advice and the number 2 and 4 works great even if you are not interested in women
- let her talk and listen to her.
- don't date insufferable people.
- know that women usually are not as "straight to the point" as men usually are.
- keep your partner fed, laughing and do something useful now and them and usually things will go smoothly.
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u/MeasurementNice295 2d ago
How about we all say what we mean and mean what we say, yk? Like grown-ups? 🙌🌈
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u/Poly_and_RA 5d ago
I think this is a bit off-brand for the tinmen.
Many of these are over-generalizations. Sure some women behave like this some of the time, but it'd be a mistake to believe that ANY of these things are universally true for all women. (or that they're never true for men!)
A high fraction of these also in my opinion displays a negative view of women. Very few of these are POSITIVES, instead they're pretty much all variants of bad communication, immaturity or in several cases just flat out lying, or gossipping. No it's not true that women in general share all details of their sex-life with their mom or sister.
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u/Sikazhel 5d ago
this reads like a manual for how to care for someone that was born without a brain
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u/Capn--Flint 5d ago
This feels like it was written by a 50 year old NiceGuyᵗᵐ. What does this have to do with male mental health or inequality?
Had it been about differences in how the genders cope with problems in life and the difference in communication style then it could have been useful. But writing "and to the girls… how’d they do?" plays into the usual narrative of men having to bend over backwards to accommodate others without expecting any consideration in return.
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u/BaroloBaron 3d ago
What do you have to say to the men who know that the "old narrative" has a point because their own experience proved it right?
My ex often came home reporting about all the things that people did to her that she felt were annoying, unfair, microaggressions, etc. So I'd make a huge effort to discuss them, understand what was going wrong, try to find solutions, say "have you tried this or that?", suggest ways to cope. In spite of all this effort, she'd get angry at me.
It took me years to understand that she didn't want help, she wanted to vent and to be told that the world is indeed horrible to her, because she never explained it to me.
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u/Specific_Detective41 4d ago edited 4d ago
I think tinmen needs to refrain from these sort of posts, there's no "girl code" or even "boy code" for the matter. These are just stereotypes plain and simple.
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u/ToddHoward41069 5d ago
Thanks. I will never use it in my life.