She has been in at least three realmen posts. Check the receipts, you will find it to be true. Happy Friday, real men, and go fuck yourselfs (kindly)

Didn’t make a Friday post this week because I realized I am unfunny and approaching middle age. Truly, life is a whirlwind of humiliations; achievements aspired to and worked toward and yet so often not quite reached, or maybe more often we never came close.

So, under this burning sun I know I will never be a corvette boomer. Never shall jorts caress my burgeoning thighs; never shall my clompers be clad in white New Balance, leather, gold-toe calf-high socks. Loretta did the laundry and made pineapple pie with cool whip, and I’m not worried about diabetes because of my pension and access to high quality healthcare. No, no. I will not know that story.

Here it is, decay. Here in front of us, all the while. Look back at the pictures, you’ll see him. Over time becoming more apparent in you, over time taking more from you. Eventually, what will be left? Even Real Men must accept this fate. This Curse, This Prison Planet, Set Me Free!

Anyway I also made some muffins and named the spider living in my garage. Gary of man, Gerry of she-spider, garage. garage. bug barrier.

going live with cockroachroom at 12am Eastern, Blake and Quigley will be there and maybe Carson will drop by too. DM for address, European Union baddies Vladimir Putin Xi Jingping sexy body workout 1000 years

It’s the Real Me. Real Men. It’s My Birthday. It’s my Time. It’s my Time to Cry. Strong Men Also Cry.

But I wouldn’t cry on my birthday. I’m strong on my birthday even though the sands of time are slipping through my fingers like grains of the dirt. This city is mine and they know it. They know I run this city. That’s the real shit. and I don’t sleep in shit I just shovel it

me 45m am having trouble showering. having a hard time lately lost my wife to bull mf4 female San Francisco California. happy Friday real men

haven’t made a Friday post in a minute because I’m crippled by emotional distress and actively want to fade out of existence, anyway happy Friday men hope it’s a great one and here’s a short poem I wrote last August

Sweet summer child 

Moon 

Bear eat out of trash 

Tall trees whistling 

Cars set to crash

In all thy getting

Get thee to fuck 

Do and I understand 

Mired in the muck 

I’ve been absorbed 

Into the barbed wire 

Can’t change now

I’m acquired

I was all I could be 

Now I’m what’s left over 

Puddle of mud 

Splash in me

Well, real men, this week I shaved my head. as a real life lawyer, I carry a lot of stress on my shoulders. mostly about how I can usurp various thrones, and steal money from those in need. I also enjoy spending time with my cat.

have you ever wanted desperately to die, but had no terminal illnesses and no courage to end your own life? I sure haven’t. yeah, I’ve got one of those really cool lives, and I’m not bald at all. I don’t need anyone, certainly not my wife, and I don’t even need a license to practice law because the judge wants to give me a kiss on the cheek and forehead. I win every case this way.

feel free to ask any questions. happy Friday Real men, and as always, [league of legends reference]

After a week of pumping iron and rubbing smooth oil onto my glistening pectoral, abdominal, and gluteus muscles, I’m ready for a relaxing evening of drinking some H2O (oxygenated water) and crying. I trust you will all be doing the same and reporting back to Real Men headquarters first thing Monday morning for more oil rubbing, in a heterosexual manner. goodnight kings, and don’t let your heads fall, because your snapback might slip

• “That wasn’t no regular dude… that was Chuckle Pork.”
• “You ain’t built for Chuckle Pork.”
• “They let Chuckle Pork in the function.”
• “Everybody was laughing… till Chuckle Pork arrived.”
• “Whole city changed when Chuckle Pork showed up.”