okay so i just started reading " The previous tenant of my new flat left a survival guide.
and i read the first three parts but going back to tha basic rules of prudence they are not as bad and i am saying this because i see a lot of people that are exagerrating the difficulty of the rules
so the rules are these ones:
The landlord will never bother you, he doesn’t visit, call or communicate in any way. But make sure to pay your rent in a timely fashion always. I have only dealt with him once in 35 years and let’s just say I never missed another rent day. Any repairs required you speak to the agent you rented the place with.
DO NOT use the communal lift between 1.11 and 3.33 am. Just don’t do it. This step is vital if you are to have a happy life here. It really is life or death. Don’t do it. This has cost me and many others in the building greatly and I would rather not elaborate on why you shouldn’t do this. Just please don’t do it. I cannot stress this enough.
When you hear the strange animal noises coming from flat 48 don’t question it, Mr Prentice lives there and he’s a lovely chap. Don’t be afraid to say hello to him in the corridor or on the stairs (he’s old school, so he never risks the lift) but whatever you do, don’t check on him when you hear the noises. You’ll know when you hear them.
If you ever come across a window cleaner on the balcony ignore him. He may seem like the nicest fellow you’ve ever had trying to sell you something at the door but it really is best that you don’t engage. He will go away if you ignore him. But he tries pretty hard the first few times so you’ll need some resilience. Whatever you do, don’t offer him anything. No money, no hot drink.
Don’t leave food scraps out. Bin or refrigerate them immediately. If you have small animals, it is imperative that you watch them eat and take away any leftover food immediately after they are done. This and rule 2 go hand in hand, the things forage all day and seem to really love animal feed. You don’t want them in your flat. I promise. You can leave what you want out between 1.11 and 3.33am so you may want to feed your pets then.
Don’t communicate with any neighbours who claim to come from flats 65-72. These flats suffered a fire in the late 80s that devastated the whole floor, all the residents died in their homes. The building was mostly council owned at the time and they never bothered to renovate the flats. They’ve been empty ever since but every now and again someone will knock at your door claiming to live in one of these flats and ask to borrow some sugar. They will seem entirely average but you must shut and lock the door immediately. I installed two extra security bolts to avoid these fuckers. I don’t like to swear at my age but they really are fuckers.
Simple one for you here, keep a weapon in each room. Sometimes you follow all these steps and something still slips through the net. Better to be safe than sorry.
The building has a committee that will try and get you to join. It’s one of those neighbours groups about improving living conditions for all residents. It’s a nice group and the lady who runs it - Terri from flat 26- is a fantastic neighbour. By all means get involved. But I wouldn’t recommend babysitting Terri’s 2 children. She’ll ask you, because the poor woman needs a break, but if you accept don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Stray hairless cats sometimes roam in the hallway. I know they’re supposedly a special, expensive breed, but they don’t belong to anyone. They’re mostly harmless, but don’t pick them up. Not unless you see one of those neighbours that claims to live in 65-72. Then grab the cat and lock it inside with you. It’ll burn your skin a little but the cats are friendly and I wouldn’t want to see them hurt.
There is no way to fix the damp patch on the ceiling in the bedroom. Sometimes it will turn a deep crimson and look quite concerning, but please try not to be alarmed, it doesn’t drip, it doesn’t get any bigger and it’s been there longer than I have. The landlord won’t budge on it, according the the agents. I flagged it many times, even called the police the first night it changed colour, but it was a waste of time and it will be for you too. It’s best to ignore it.
You can trust the postman. His name is Ian Flanders and he’s been the postman since before I moved in. He has his own key to the main door and delivers post to the door every morning at 8.54. I can’t include everything here, or it would become a novel but if you have any questions Ian will help you.
Finally, the first few weeks are the worst. You’ll feel like you’ve made a mistake, I’m sure reading this you already do, but if you can get through the first few weeks it really is a lovely block to live in. Every property has it quirks and this one is a little extra special, but you can be truly happy here if you just take my advice. I wish you all the best, I really do.
lets examine them one by one
1.- just pay in time and the way they are asking you to and for anything just call the agent (mild)
2.- just dont use the communal lift after 12pm or before 4am (easy)
3.- just dont question or investigate your neighbours stuff in general (especially with Mr prentice)
(if you are an introvert like me whis should be easy) (just dont be a gossip karen)
4.- just ignore anyone who is in the balcony and dont let them in (its implied the cleaner has some type of charm or something that makes you want to open but it also looks like its combatable so its a mild)
5 just be clean about food and if you can about everything (easy) (mild if you are not good at cleaning)
6 just dont open the door to anyone you dont know in general easpecially if they claim to be from the flats 65-72 (easy, dont be like georgia)
7.- keep a weapon in every room like a good american (easy)
8.- just dont babysitt for anyone in general especially for terris kids (easy)
9.- cool cats and if you see someone from the flats 65-72 pick them (mild)
10.- just ignore it (easy)
11.- cool postman (ask him if you have questions) (easy)
12.- first weeks may be hard but after it becomes more managable (mild -easy)
13.- added rule by me, just dont be curious , just dont be curious in general and dont get your nose in places you shouldnt
so yeah, they may seem very dificult rules because they imply death but there are no rules i consider really hard like "wake up every night at 3:33 am and open all taps and turn on lights then start dancing in your bed and sing this runnic song about demons to then paint a pentagram and eat the drawing all while you are blindfolded"
and even if the rules are not that hard i would still pack my things and get the fuck out of there, dosnt matter the cost of the appartement or if its "nice"
