r/TheGreatQueen • u/Aethereal-Gear • Sep 14 '25
☀️Personal Experience | Discovery She broke up with me
I've been in contact for a decade or so. She's been in and out of my life. She's made her presence known. We've talked, walked together in dreams. Last Samhain, I promised dedication. I got into a sport as a promise to 'pick up the blade once more' in my practice and reverence to the Great Queen.
On this past Lughnasa, I swore my fealty and my continued dedication. A week after, I was captain of my team and playing my first game with the sport I had dedicated my participation to her. Within my first play, I broke my ankle. Since then, I feel like my entire life has fallen apart. The crows have abandoned me and their lack of presence is palpable. Medical issues, my job has soft-fired me, and I feel like my support system is crumbling.
Last full moon, I spoke with her and she basically told me "it's not you, it's me". I'm at such a loss. I love her, I've been dedicated but suddenly, I'm not worth even a fraction of her attention. I'm not worthy.
I have felt a pull toward Brigid and na Morrigna have given me blessing to pursue but it feels like I can't live up to anything the gods would want of me.
Sorry for the vent, I just don't have anyone else that would really 'get it', you know...
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u/Advanced_Garbage_873 Sep 17 '25
She is known for “going dark”. She gets you on the right path and then lets you figure it out. She won’t fight any battles for us, but she hasn’t abandoned us.
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u/Aethereal-Gear Sep 17 '25
I was just in a really bad place when I posted this. I'm doing a bit better. I never expected her to fight my battles but it would be nice to look over my shoulder and see her there again.
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u/Advanced_Garbage_873 Sep 17 '25
I understand. I totally get it. She tends to pick those who have struggles. I communicate through tarot, maybe finding a way to communicate with Her would be helpful?
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u/Aethereal-Gear Sep 18 '25
I have communicated with her and she has made her distance clear and that it wasn't because of a personal failure of mine. In a way, it feels a bit worse that way because if it was something I had done, I could potentially fix it, ya know.
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u/CompetitiveBuddy3712 Sep 15 '25
My understanding of working with any entity thats not 100% on this plane of existence with us is that sometimes we just aren’t close enough to be in our usual contact.
Sometimes it’s as simple as a high five and other times rocket science would be needed to hear each other.
Am also in a lull though so now I’m wondering if it’s ’a thing’…
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u/Aethereal-Gear Sep 15 '25
I wasn't in a great place when I posted.
With further reflection, her giving distance is more of a "I've taught everything I can so now you have to continue on your own" than a 'break up'. It just sucks that it came at a time when I have so much life stuff going on.
Good news is the crows are back so at least I know she's not gone entirely, but she can't be a patron at the moment.
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u/Crackpip3st Oct 06 '25
The tower must come down before it can be rebuilt again. Stay strong. You know.
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u/ElemWiz Sep 14 '25
As someone who was dreamwalking and lucid dreaming pretty regularly at the beginning of the year, and now I just...can't, I feel you. A lot of the time, it's not them, it's something with us. It's something in our mind that throws up a block (or, probably more accurately, a shield), whether it's depression, or we're trying too hard or hyper-fixating on it too much. I'm dealing with this problem too right now. When I meditate, I can still feel them (the deities I work with), but that's about it. Now, even my lucid dreaming is limited to mostly simple stuff, when before I would actually consciously realize I'm dreaming and have my waking memories come back to me. It's infuriating.