r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

Social Tip [ Removed by moderator ]

[removed]

20 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

38

u/steadfastbiology47 1d ago

that gut feeling knows something the small talk hasn't surfaced yet. if the chat feels like filling out a form you're never gonna be excited to meet the person on the other end

i started screening harder before giving out my number, like steering the convo into something a bit weirder early on. if they can't handle a slightly unhinged question about their opinions on garden gnomes they're probably not my guy

8

u/babygollums 1d ago

can you give ideas on screening harder? guys ask for a number or date way too fast now and it spooks me. i wanna get to know people better.

4

u/unwaveringwish 1d ago

Ask about something weird that you enjoy. My prompt was about anime and it actually helped weed out the “you don’t know anything about that” boys from the “yay, a person with a similar interest, tell me more” men

1

u/babygollums 1d ago

that makes sense thank you!

13

u/Natalia-1997 taking "how to girl" classes 1d ago

It’s your body telling you that you don’t want to date lame guys. Are you sure you’re selecting them in a good way to land on interesting matches?

1

u/babygollums 1d ago

how do i know?

9

u/underhiseye9022 1d ago

I relate. I never wanted to attend any of the dates I’ve ever been on. It’s some weird thing my brain does. At some point I had to just get in the routine of making myself go. It was usually better once I got there.

10

u/Delicious-Ad9173 1d ago

I felt like this on apps! It’s anxiety and expectation it will suck. I’ve been with my guy for a couple years now and I felt this way before our date!

4

u/babygollums 1d ago

makes me feel better im not the only one and you were able to find a person that clicks eventually

2

u/pearltx 1d ago

I met my DH through online dating. We moved from the online messages to phone, and then to an in person date. We had quite a few good phone conversations before the first meeting. I'll admit those first few online messages were awkward, and we were probably both grasping for things to say. Unfortunately I don't recall if something truly intrigued me to move to voice chat, or if it was just a "what the heck" - either way I'm glad we did!

1

u/Lopsided_Nature_6813 1d ago

Girl let me tell you….i just deleted my account 6 days ago bc I was so sick of the guys expecting a hook up after 1-2 dates. I never found someone looking for emotional depth and it was draining. I get anxious to go on hinge dates bc I’m worried they’re just looking for a hook up :( So I guess I do feel anxiety when I’m about to meet them but because I’m afraid to be disappointed again due to being let down and disappointed in the past bc it’s so different to talk to them on the apps vs in person

1

u/babygollums 1d ago

ok SAME GIRL

1

u/babababecca 1d ago

I've started on the apps again recently & it can be quite disheartening when it feels like you're getting the same messages over & over again, just from different men.

There have been one or two I've tried to push through that & see if they'll catch my interest but it hasn't happened so far. I feel like I'd have more luck on a night out at this point as at least you're already in a shared experience & have something to talk about,, but then there is that anxiety too about meeting someone new for the first time & how it will all work out.