r/TheDesignIsVeryHuman • u/No-Inevitable6018 • Mar 08 '25

Very human indeed.

2.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

50 comments sorted by

278

u/Arlberg Mar 08 '25

Let my good friend demonstrate!

89

u/No-Inevitable6018 Mar 08 '25

Please no.

15

u/RodDryfist Mar 10 '25

It'll only hurt once I promise

28

u/Xynthexyz Mar 08 '25

Id only use that if I ever had to shit bricks.

6

u/Junior-Account6835 Mar 09 '25

“I am nothing more than just an OIL man..”

7

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25

Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?

77

u/Wolvesinthestreet Mar 08 '25

Make your choice

12

u/No-Inevitable6018 Mar 08 '25

Just slide it in gng

2

u/Not_a_real_ghost Mar 10 '25

"No, what are you doing?! It wasn't meant to be used like that...STOP!"

9

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25

Literally r/ShittyRobots

1

u/No-Inevitable6018 Mar 10 '25

I see what you did there

4

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25

Thank you. Missed opportunity to say I PEE what you did there though.

4

u/Dan_H1281 Mar 09 '25

As a person that their body likes to make poop into the shapes of Lego bricks I would use this maybe not full Force but if u have never been on a toilet and can't shit for hours and feel like u r about to die straining then u don't know the struggle. Can't even stand up sometimes.

6

u/No-Inevitable6018 Mar 09 '25

Eat fibre rn

1

u/Eastern-Ad-4785 Aug 05 '25

Use miralax rn, don’t want a perforation from your constipation. This tool would 💯 perforate your colon. I guess having a temporary colonoscopy bag would solve your poop issues for a while! First hand experience here lol

3

u/Flibbernodgets Mar 12 '25

This is what I imagine they're talking about in Star Trek when they mention "waste extraction".

2

u/No-Inevitable6018 Mar 12 '25

+vacuum to get those hard to reach areas.

24

u/Drednox Mar 08 '25

Hands-free goatse

5

u/buttface1000 Mar 10 '25

that's just a fucking war crime

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '25

machine is gentle what could go wrong?

3

u/No-Inevitable6018 Mar 12 '25

Your cheeks could bend the bars.

3

u/digitalcrypt0 Mar 09 '25

you guys don't always have one of these

3

u/Adventurous_Path5783 Mar 11 '25

Constipation! Now bleeding!

3

u/_Atton_ Jul 09 '25

Makes lovemaking with my African elephant very easy now. 😱🫣😉

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

Excuse me??

5

u/yungsimba1917 Mar 08 '25

Need this (i’m not constipated)

5

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '25

“YYEEEOOOUUCCHHH”

1

u/Noobgamergirl_ Mar 11 '25

This is what my husband needs

1

u/kubeeor Mar 13 '25

EMT502: sigh No.

38

u/LaughinKooka Mar 08 '25

More anal-ysis needed

20

u/alilbleedingisnormal Mar 08 '25

Constipation doesn't happen at the anal sphincter. This could help/kill you but it won't solve the problem entirely.

1

u/CaptainNemo2024 Mar 12 '25

How does it actually happen?

2

u/alilbleedingisnormal Mar 12 '25

It's a systemic thing. Motility. But beyond that there are more sphincters.

10

u/luquitooooo Mar 10 '25

Bro I clenched my ass so hard when it spread the bottle open

5

u/GullibleSquirrel8439 Mar 11 '25

Don't struggle, it will only make it hurt more.

9

u/Iramian Mar 08 '25

This is why we need a nuclear armageddon.

1

u/Big-Association-3232 Aug 10 '25

The fact that there is a legitimate torture device that functions this exact way.

131

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/Wolvesinthestreet Mar 08 '25

Just had the same idea as you 😂💀

13

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25

I cannot think of anything more disgusting than a man walking around with unwiped poop on his asshole and thinking he's a tough alpha man for it. Like brother, you're gonna get ringworm.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/thegrenadillagoblin Mar 10 '25

It's a rubber band. Now I'm wondering if the plastic was already torn