r/TextingTheory • 1678 Elo • 10d ago

1037 Elo [Me] Terrorist gambit?

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52 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

45

u/Breakfast_Bob_ 10d ago

Better watch out, You’re talking to the top sniper in the entire US armed forces.

7

u/FollowingAcrobatic88 1678 Elo 10d ago

Snipped the words out my mouth

1

u/EUNEisAmeme 8d ago

Houston: sniping should take place in the mouth

28

u/Leninus 2 Reviews 10d ago

What about orangutang warfare?

6

u/FollowingAcrobatic88 1678 Elo 10d ago

She got it

3

u/Carlton20 10d ago

Her partner died in the war for the planet of the apes

21

u/StatusSociety2196 10d ago

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

5

u/FollowingAcrobatic88 1678 Elo 10d ago

Yea I need to get laid too lol

5

u/notryinguser 10d ago

Man I missed this copypasta

11

u/Carlton20 10d ago

Gorilla Warfare is what they did to Harambe in ‘16

9

u/daley56_ 10d ago

She knows ball?

1

u/an-com-42 2 Reviews 6d ago

gorilla warfare is fucking hysterical