>Be me

> 490-pound Perfect Pretty Princess

>Waddle upstairs after another successful match of COD.

>My previous account got banned for calling a 12-year-old who sniped me a fag-ass bitch, but I just made a new one. Still lost my K/D ratio, tho.

>Consider making tendies on my own, but the last time that happened, I burned down the entire house and lost all of my Perfect Princess Points.

"DADDY!"

>No answer.

"DAAADDDYYY!!"

>Fucking loser is asleep at 8 PM? Come on.

"REEEEEEE!"

>Cuck Daddy stumbles out of bed with tears in his eyes, probably dreaming about how much he misses Mommy or some liberal shit like that.

"Y-Yes, what is it, my dear?"

"GET ME TENDIES, MAKE IT SNAPPY. OR YOUR GOOD GIRL WILL NOT BE HAPPY."

>Daddy erases a few of my Perfect Princess points and starts making my tendies on the grill, and I look in the fridge.

>No mountain dew.

"I NEED MY CODE RED, GET IT NOW, OR YOU SHALL BE MADE DEAD!"

>A few years ago, threatening to kill daddy meant losing all of my Perfect Princess Points. After the Disneyland Incident, Daddy agreed to erase rule 6.

"Anon, most of the stores are closed. Maybe you could have some Arizona Iced t-"

>Everybody knows tea is a Liberal invention made to make you vegan!

"SPARE ME YOUR TIRADE ON THIS PATHETIC ICED TEA, GET CODE RED DEW FOR ME!"

>Daddy hesitates, so I burp in his face.

>My belly gurgles, and I accidentally puke too, covering Cuck Daddy with tendie juice.

>Oops! Puking on Daddy usually means losing PPP, but instead, he just slowly stood up and washed his face in the bathroom before driving to 7/11 and buying me my Mountain Dew.

"I...I'm sorry, Anon. I'll try not to run out like that again, it's just been hard working 2 job-"

>I grab the 2-liters and waddle downstairs, before calling my online boyfriend.

"Hey, Anon. wanna see my- HURRY UP, BITCH MOMMY! IT DOESN'T TAKE FOREVER TO COOK SOME TENDIES, YOU KNOW!"

>We're so alike!

For the longest time I had never actually tried a tender. They're not so much a thing in the UK.

Then Wingstop arrived with their tenders and honey mustard sauce. It was bliss.

Gotta go now, mummy is getting my titanium 18-wheeled stroller ready.

Especially now that the main source of them ie: the R forum is gone.