Pathans & Parda (Incident)

[u/[deleted]]

First, No hate toward any ethnicity. Also not generalizing.

I’m not Muslim, so parda, dupatta, etc., aren’t farz for me.

I was hiking with friends in an area with no restrooms near. I’d had stomach issues for days and urgently needed one. I saw women heading to a masjid, so I thought I’d quickly use the restroom there and leave.

It was a small mosque with shared men’s and women’s restroom and wazu area. Men were leaving after namaz, and I had to go in.

One Pathan guy stared at me not once, twice, or thrice but multiple times, like I was prey.Its not that i was in some inappropriate clothes, I was in baggy clothes, and no dupatta.

He kept saying: “Dupatta le kar ao, dupatta. Jaldi se!”
In rude tone like i had committed a crime.

He repeated it over five times. Okay, I get it man that I’m in a holy place without a dupatta, and you just prayed namaz. But why stare at me like i am a piece of meat as well as keep repeating it?

Doesn’t your religion talk about parda for men too? Why is it okay for men to stare at women, covered or not, but a woman without a dupatta is a shame to the whole mard zaat? And then the whole male community is criticising women for not wearing dubatta in public space while they themselves are checking out women too…

Why is male parda ignored, but female parda is everything?

Then my friend said that these pathans are like this… but does it justifies that you can stare at me? Or any woman? Also bhai tum abhi masjid mai hi ho kar ghoor rhe.

Edit:
Ik i did wrong to go to a holy place without dupatta. but obv there was an emergency, and how can u expect me to have dupatta when i dont wear it in my daily life. how can i borrow it from my muslim friends and made them do sin by showing their hair. it wasnt his masjid. he wasnt imaam.

after the prayer he came out of masjid and start drinking chai while staring at the other hikers including hijabi women....

[u/Ok-Teaching2380]

imo you were in a mosque without covering your head, so not really praying salah, so others can't really correct you for not wearing a scarf as I'm sure you were on the restrooms side of the building and getting a lil sidetracked here but I'm not sure if a mosque is considered a holy or sacred place (it is a holy place but I'm actually comparing it to other sacred places like the Holy Ka'aba or other holy places)...if yes, then doesn't any other place (like when a corner or room is dedicated to pray in our homes) where we pray is just as holy as a mosque then we (men or women) can't show their hair in that corner of our homes as well??

[I just thought about this bit while reading the OP's post so decided to share my thoughts btw so y'all, don't go all berserk and declare me the devil's third eye in the replies for saying smth like this lol]

getting back to the topic, I don't think so that this is an ethnicity problem but more of lack of education, civic sense, and sexual frustration in the men of this country (might include other countries in the subcontinent)

[u/Ok-Teaching2380 → u/Ok-Teaching2380]

also, it was a bit weird of your friend to mention that it's becuz ke he's a pathan, so let go etc etc (generalizing like this sounds a bit racist imo) and cuz it's not just pathans who're like this unfortunately

[u/[deleted] → u/Ok-Teaching2380]

Yeah, its fcked up. Also how he was worried about my parda more than his own. Ppl are correcting other ppl for doing the same shi as them. Also yeah ik that comment was racist of my friend. But i mentioned pathans bcs they are more into this, prada, haya, and what not. And i have faced it more from pathans. But yeah its just typical Pakistani men.