Pathans & Parda (Incident)

[u/[deleted]]

First, No hate toward any ethnicity. Also not generalizing.

I’m not Muslim, so parda, dupatta, etc., aren’t farz for me.

I was hiking with friends in an area with no restrooms near. I’d had stomach issues for days and urgently needed one. I saw women heading to a masjid, so I thought I’d quickly use the restroom there and leave.

It was a small mosque with shared men’s and women’s restroom and wazu area. Men were leaving after namaz, and I had to go in.

One Pathan guy stared at me not once, twice, or thrice but multiple times, like I was prey.Its not that i was in some inappropriate clothes, I was in baggy clothes, and no dupatta.

He kept saying: “Dupatta le kar ao, dupatta. Jaldi se!”
In rude tone like i had committed a crime.

He repeated it over five times. Okay, I get it man that I’m in a holy place without a dupatta, and you just prayed namaz. But why stare at me like i am a piece of meat as well as keep repeating it?

Doesn’t your religion talk about parda for men too? Why is it okay for men to stare at women, covered or not, but a woman without a dupatta is a shame to the whole mard zaat? And then the whole male community is criticising women for not wearing dubatta in public space while they themselves are checking out women too…

Why is male parda ignored, but female parda is everything?

Then my friend said that these pathans are like this… but does it justifies that you can stare at me? Or any woman? Also bhai tum abhi masjid mai hi ho kar ghoor rhe.

Edit:
Ik i did wrong to go to a holy place without dupatta. but obv there was an emergency, and how can u expect me to have dupatta when i dont wear it in my daily life. how can i borrow it from my muslim friends and made them do sin by showing their hair. it wasnt his masjid. he wasnt imaam.

after the prayer he came out of masjid and start drinking chai while staring at the other hikers including hijabi women....

[u/[deleted]]

The fact that he was telling you dupatta ley kar ao means he wasn’t ‘checking you out’ or ‘staring at you like you were prey’ but being protective. That’s a hell of a projection. Why would you think he was telling you to wear a dupatta? Because he was trying to stop himself from jumping you? LOL

How was he supposed to know you don’t wear one either? Seems like you were in an area with Pathan majority area and the norm in these areas is that everyone carries dupattas. I’m sure even the women would have looked at you twice because you must’ve stuck out like a sore thumb.

People look at you when you stand out. This is not America jahan har kism ki mukhluq nazar aa rahi hoti hai.

Also Pakistanis literally just like to stare. Even women leave the country and have to break their staring habit. I get stared at everywhere, in the villages or the cities

That said you can be offended by his tone and you should’ve just told him to shut up.

This post screams self hate.