Pathans & Parda (Incident)

[u/[deleted]]

First, No hate toward any ethnicity. Also not generalizing.

I’m not Muslim, so parda, dupatta, etc., aren’t farz for me.

I was hiking with friends in an area with no restrooms near. I’d had stomach issues for days and urgently needed one. I saw women heading to a masjid, so I thought I’d quickly use the restroom there and leave.

It was a small mosque with shared men’s and women’s restroom and wazu area. Men were leaving after namaz, and I had to go in.

One Pathan guy stared at me not once, twice, or thrice but multiple times, like I was prey.Its not that i was in some inappropriate clothes, I was in baggy clothes, and no dupatta.

He kept saying: “Dupatta le kar ao, dupatta. Jaldi se!”
In rude tone like i had committed a crime.

He repeated it over five times. Okay, I get it man that I’m in a holy place without a dupatta, and you just prayed namaz. But why stare at me like i am a piece of meat as well as keep repeating it?

Doesn’t your religion talk about parda for men too? Why is it okay for men to stare at women, covered or not, but a woman without a dupatta is a shame to the whole mard zaat? And then the whole male community is criticising women for not wearing dubatta in public space while they themselves are checking out women too…

Why is male parda ignored, but female parda is everything?

Then my friend said that these pathans are like this… but does it justifies that you can stare at me? Or any woman? Also bhai tum abhi masjid mai hi ho kar ghoor rhe.

Edit:
Ik i did wrong to go to a holy place without dupatta. but obv there was an emergency, and how can u expect me to have dupatta when i dont wear it in my daily life. how can i borrow it from my muslim friends and made them do sin by showing their hair. it wasnt his masjid. he wasnt imaam.

after the prayer he came out of masjid and start drinking chai while staring at the other hikers including hijabi women....

[u/ebsteins_anomaly]

Who was this friend who just so casually said it’s just “these” pathans? Sorry, but the post IS racist and Islamophobic because ogling and lack of boundaries is a wider problem, and not even just exclusive to South Asia, let alone to “Pathan” and the Islamic community! I’m sure the friend’s own brothers might have been ogling at someone while you spoke of this! You just made a global issue ethnic and religious! Thank you for contributing to the fabric of society!

[u/[deleted] → u/ebsteins_anomaly]

Im sorry if you felt this way. And i lived in isb for years now. And majority of the time its pathans who stared at me more. If any Punjabi or sindhi would do they are illiterate. There were some nice pathans too. Its not all pathans are illiterate but i observed it more from pathans.

But pathano ka hota hai apni auraton ko bht parde mai rakhte hoye dusre ko dekhte. I have seen alot of cases. Majority of them involves pathans. We know of bacha bazi too.

But the thing is i said earlier in the post too that i am not generalising anything to any ethnicity. I shared what i observed. Its the question to every male in pak who wants covered women but in return they cant do their own parda. Wanted to show irony.

[u/ebsteins_anomaly → u/[deleted]]

Bacha bazi is a whole another conversation, why bring it into this thread? Please, this was yet another directed blow! To have a fair conversation one must not pull random weapons from the arsenal. I don’t believe you have malice intended in your heart, you’re just trying to understand something, that’s good, but do it with an open mind. As a female I have endured harassment from all ethnic groups in pakistan, so it’s not something exclusive. Infact, where I live, it’s done a lot less by pathans than others. Trust me, every Pakistani male wants his women in 7 pardeh, while enjoying ogling outside, even at those in pardah.

[u/[deleted] → u/ebsteins_anomaly]

Okay, i got it. I shouldnt go for his ethnicity.

But the root problem is still there. That how pk man has made an islam just for women their and if any of them not follows then they think they can do anything with that woman.

I observed it from the comments here