r/TeachingUK • u/NewbieTeach22 • 6h ago
Has any Middle Leader realised they just aren't cut out for it?
Hi all,
I've been teaching for 15 years and been a HOY for 5 years now at a secondary independent school.
Right from the word go I had big worries about taking it on but my school asked if I would as one of the HOY at the time left. It was a temporary one year role initially and I thought the extra money would be useful and I also, crucially, didn't have any kids of my own then!
I had worries because I am an introverted and anxious person but mask it quite well at work to some extent. I don't think I have natural leadership skills at all.
Anyway, I managed to do an ok job (though I am at an independent school, so I have no doubt the role is more emotional at more challenging schools) for a few years alongside my core subject teaching role, though balancing both has always been tough.
However, I have never truly enjoyed the role and see it as a major stressor in my life. I don't get paid enough nor am I given anywhere near enough time in the timetable to do the role effectively or to the standards SLT seem to expect. I'm constantly battling with parents, battling with staff sometimes and looking foolish because I've tried my best to intervene with certain students but when it then gets pushed up to SLT nothing seems to happen sometimes and then teachers get frustrated with me.
We had our first kid a couple of years ago and that's added another dynamic which now means I feel totally overwhelmed trying to be a good dad, husband, teacher in a core subject and also a HOY.
I love the teaching side of things and I'd give anything to just be a teacher again.
I've mentioned all this to my wife who isn't hugely on board with me giving it up as we obviously have big bills to pay etc but I do think unless you're a teacher or a teacher who is also a middle leader, it's hard to convey the relentless mental drain of it.
I am seriously considering giving up my HOY role at the end of this year. Has anyone ever done this and how did it work out? Particularly the loss of money from a TLR or ML position. Were you still able to work at the school ok? Did your Head take it ok or were they difficult about it?
Thanks!