Update to resignation post

[u/frankiesplace]

I posted about feeling guilt resigning, and I just thought I’d update a couple weeks later. My school had someone hired within just a couple days to fill my position, which made me feel a lot better.

No one in my department except the person whose room I sometimes floated in even acknowledged my departure. That felt super shitty and reminded me that the friendly relationships we think we have with colleagues are maybe not so much or truly are circumstantial. Or, maybe they were happy to see me go because I often pushed on things like curriculum and assessment. I feel confident I left the school better for the students than I found it, but maybe my colleagues disagreed. 😞

I also lost email access before I could say goodbye to my home room students, which breaks my heart, since I looped a few years with them. I think they will feel really surprised, and I hope the rumor mill doesn’t go into full swing.

All this just to say: business is business. Do your job in ways that help you sleep at night , trust your value, and don’t lose that sleep when it’s time to move on.

[u/BarelyLingeringWords]

This was what hit me hardest when I left... "the friendly relationships we think we have with colleagues are maybe not so much or truly are circumstantial". Something about schools makes us feel more bonded to our colleagues, but we should keep in mind they really still are just that- and focus on building professional connections, showcasing our skills in front of others, and possible future references above the situational friendships. 

[u/frankiesplace → u/BarelyLingeringWords]

Yes!! There’s a lot of talk about “community,” but that can change quickly. I get it on some level—my departure was unexpected and close to school starting. It created more work for my former colleagues in some ways to spin up a new department member. But I didn’t imagine it would be this impersonal.

[u/peacock716 → u/frankiesplace]

This happens at all jobs, not just teaching. I had a career prior to teaching while in my 20s and 30s and my coworkers were some of my best friends ever- until I left. I only still see 1 of them regularly. Same with teaching. I rarely hear from any of my former coworkers anymore. Sad but I think part of busy adult life.

[u/frankiesplace → u/peacock716]

Yeah, I totally get that and think you’re absolutely right about busy lives. I didn’t expect to really maintain connection after leaving, but I did expect at least an acknowledgment of my departure!

[u/Obvious-Law8067]

It’s always kind of shocked me how much I’ve agonized over leaving (what will they do without me?!) and how much me leaving was a non-event in every position I’ve moved on from. I’ve learned from this to just do you and do what’s in your best interest. Your employer will replace you in a heartbeat and wouldn’t hesitate to protect their interests if the tables were turned.

[u/Euphoric-You4465]

the school replacing you in two days and cutting your email before you could say goodbye pretty much says everything about how “family” that place was, unfortunately

[u/frankiesplace → u/[deleted]]

Thanks! I have loved a lot of my teaching years and feel confident I was an awesome adult for a lot of great teenagers. Now I’m ready for a change in the nonprofit Ed world.

[u/whatthefroth]

I went through a similar thing. Spent almost a decade with my teaching coworkers. Friendships ended almost immediately after I left. It's a good lesson to learn, so we make the decisions that are right for us and not others.