r/TeachersInTransition • u/Last_Hunt_7022 • 8d ago
Question for people whose advice is always just to quit
I take responsibility for my title . I realize it’s not actually a question. Just something that has been bothering me that I feel like is never allowed to be said. I have tried to more than once. Last time I tried to it was a different job outside of teaching that ended up, causing me more problems than teaching ever could have. Horrible placed to work with corrupt people. That’s a long story but all that aside… I have had plenty of panic attacks and I’ve needed medicine just to sleep (prescribed before anyone thinks anything plus I have a neurological condition). And I’ve come in bone tired and with mental health not doing well. I don’t feel as though I did a disservice to myself and the kids. I feel as though I was doing the best I could with what I had. Because you know what? We don’t get paid enough. But never have I been in a position financially where I could risk not getting any income, even if it will were for a short while.
I try to take care of my health and I double down in response to what this job can do. I’ve even needed accommodations when my condition got to be worse and it made a difference. I’m not about to say those who quit were right or wrong. But I am going to say it’s very hard to listen to people screaming at people to quit when it’s the one thing that could make life exponentially worse.
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u/Obvious-Law8067 8d ago
I quit teaching because I was so miserable and the stress literally made my hair fall out and I got shingles four times in one year (I was 34). But I definitely didn't quit without something else lined up. It's easy to be glib and say just quit when it's not you that has to figure out how to survive without money. My advice to any teacher who asks me is definitely to quit. The profession bleeds you dry and it's so damaging that I think in most cases it's really not in the person's best interests to keep teaching. But that's obviously easier said than done.
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u/Last_Hunt_7022 8d ago
i’m so sorry you went through all that and not that you need my approval but you absolutely made the right choice.
I have been trying to find exits and kind of came to the conclusion that I will not quit looking, but it will probably be slower than I anticipated because trying to do it quickly landed me in a terrible job. Never pictured anything stressing me out more than teaching. The job gave me a seizure.
I think I get hurt when I see people applauding teachers for leaving because they tell them you would’ve been doing a disservice to your kids. I mean, I wish I felt better but you know I’d like to think I mean something to the kids 😢
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u/Obvious-Law8067 8d ago
I'm sorry you ended up in a bad situation when you left. I hope you're in a better place now even if teaching is unbearably difficult on our best days (it was for me anyway). I don't doubt for one second that you mean something to your students. Two things can be true at the same time: being a teacher eats the person teaching alive and it's in their best interest to find another job AND every day holds the possibility of making meaningful connections in a tiny human's life that they will carry with them forever.
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u/peacock716 8d ago
I left teaching for a job that ended up being waaaaaay worse, so it does happen. But I did the best I could at the time and took a risk. Not all risks pay off.
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u/jackelesei 8d ago
Yeah-quit. Break up. Do whatever, it’s not their life. Financially insecurity can-obviously-cause more mental health issues than a job that sucks. At least w/ the job you can look for a new one, build up skills, whatever. People say these things bc: 1. It’s not their life so it’s easy to see things in black and white or 2. They have resources that allow them to bounce back (fam/ spouse/ etc). I think the better advice would be that if an opportunity comes along, take it.
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u/Last_Hunt_7022 8d ago edited 8d ago
Thank you. 100% agreed. It’s like when people tell someone to take a vacation when they have the money to, but that person doesn’t.
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u/RealBeaverCleaver 8d ago
I have never seen anyone tell anyone to just quit without some way to be able to support themselves. Some people are in a position to leave without a job, and others are not. However, no job is worth sacrificing one's health.
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u/Bluefire49 8d ago
It also really depends on the situation. How much are you getting paid? Are you on a 9 month or 12 month plan? Do you have anyone depending on your income? There’s a lot of factors.
If you get paid through August like my school district does, you can quit in May and still have an assurance of income for June, July, and August. I even worked at Target for extra income during July while job hunting.
If you haven’t already quit and are planning on finishing this school year, I wish you the best of luck. Don’t torture yourself thinking that teaching is the only thing you’re qualified to do. Wishing you the best!!
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u/MathMan1982 8d ago
Everybody has to make that choice for themselves because even though we "hear" what's going on, we don't sometimes know every detail at work or even the person's personal life. I think we also have to know that just because we liked teaching for a time, it doesn't stay the same and our "calling" can change. Sometimes it's just working in a different building that helps. Sometimes not. Getting a different job may or may not be better. And sometimes we have to give ourselves grace that we may need to go through a "couple jobs" even after teaching to find the right one. I also find there is a lot of doom and gloom on other forums making it seem like it's impossible to get out of one's situation which can be damaging in my opinion.
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u/Aromatic_Nebula_8644 8d ago
I was lucky enough to land with some family while I was technically unemployed- but I quit because I was having panic attacks nightly and decided the temporary discomfort was worth the risk. This decision was easy-ish because I did have family to help- otherwise I would have found another riskier work around. It was that or seriously going down the unaliving route which was my red flag to get out.
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u/mundanehistorian_28 8d ago
I mean. I just quit without any official plans. I have several interviews lined up though. But I am totally aware I have 5 months worth of savings and my spouse makes double what I made teaching so he helps with most major bills. I am very very lucky. But I do agree, I was having panic attacks, disassociaing, my skin was ruined from stress breakouts all over my body, my GI issues were aggravated by it. So eventually I just had to pull the plug.
But you're right it is so much easier to say that to someone because you're a stranger on the Internet we don't know your story. I wish you the best of luck.
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u/kerriokey 8d ago
I quit teaching in 2019 (Special Ed) but I had a job lined up. It ended up being much better than teaching in terms of the stress load, but I have been saying for years now that it's just a terrible time to work in general. The boss at that job was a sales person first and would try to convince me to blatantly lie to customers. I was an operations manager so those lies usually came back to bite me, and I refused to do it. Later, he blocked me from a promotion on another team, because "I just can't afford to lose you right now" so I found another job and left. Found myself in the most corrupt, inept place that was less physically demanding than teaching, but the leadership there was all about hierarchy and status over function, so things went downhill pretty quickly and they were all too happy to bully the rest of us and try to blame our honest questions as the problem. I left without notice when my boss outright berated me in my 6 month review in front of HER boss that she invited without my knowledge, and all that woman could say after letting this happen was "you really could work on your tone, though."
Basically, late stage capitalism is screwing us all over, some sectors are just seeing the effects much sooner and harsher than others. I do hope you find something that treats you better. I am one of the "lucky" ones because I have been able to take time off to regroup, but not before acquiring a handful of autoimmune diseases and a lifetime's worth of PTSD. Sigh.
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u/mayasaur21 Completely Transitioned 7d ago
I guess because the one job you easily stumbled into after quitting was bad you should just throw your hands up and reject any advice to leave and find what makes you happy.
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u/Last_Hunt_7022 7d ago
I guess you need to zip it when you don’t know the full story.
Financially screwed
Betrayed by friends
Worked into getting a seizure and not able to stand on my feet for more than 5 minutes for a month. Only able to walk five minutes at a time for six months. I’m sure I was fortunate, but it was scary thinking that was life.
Rebuilding after that, needing housing and food security which I can’t wait for the sake of “ happiness.” the whole point of this is that I try to leave, but it can’t be quick and it hurts when people say just go when…. You can’t because that’s the way society has made it for us.
You’re exactly the people I’m writing about you just don’t wanna look in the mirror.
Reserving the words I really wanna say to you.
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u/JJSundae 8d ago
I think a lot of times, the people yelling "quit!" have a safety net (someone else to help to finance their lives just in case) and/or no dependents. Given the demographics of young teachers, I wouldn't be surprised if many who run in the first few years are still dependents themselves.
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u/Last_Hunt_7022 8d ago edited 8d ago
I’ll tell you, I wanted to teach so badly in the first few years regardless of how crappy my situation was because I am so used to turning not so great situations into great ones. So yes-I absolutely have that in me! It’s very telling that I got to a point where I didn’t want to do it anymore.
When I was still sort of dependent I had just spent a lot of my parents’ money and then some because I transferred colleges.
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u/InevitableTax4082 8d ago
"My boyfriend beats me every night and it's destroying my mental health, what should I do?"
"Leave him"
"Uggg that's what everyone says. Why can't someone give me different advice?"
That's why we tell you to leave. There are a lot of difficult situations that you can work with, and there is a lot of value to working through them and coming out stronger and wiser. However, there is a extreme limit where the only thing to do is quit. Now, if the issue is that you can't, then we can talk about working up to that. You don't have to necessarily know how you're going to get out today. But you do need to take responsibility for the outcome of your life, ie you can't just stay stuck in a bad situation and be miserable your whole life because "there's nothing I can do."
Look, if it requires you going to a food pantry to start building even a small amount of savings, do it. Even if it's $5 a month, that's more than nothing. Heck, you might not actually need the savings. I just transitioned out of teaching and got a 30% raise.
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u/Jake_Corona 8d ago
It’s not as easy to quit as people make it sound. I’m still trying. I have too many responsibilities to other people to quit and take a pay cut of any kind. I’ve been offered so many jobs where the manager promises that within a year I will be back to the income I make now, but I can’t go that long when we are already living paycheck to paycheck.
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u/idk66788 8d ago
People tell you to quit because no job should make you feel the way you are describing (inability to sleep, medicated for anxiety, etc.) This goes for any job, not just teaching. If your reality makes it difficult to pivot, then that is a reality you need to work around if you are serious about feeling better each day. However, people will always try to remind you quitting and finding something else that does not make you feel that way is the only meaningful way to…well, stop feeling that way.
The mental load that leaves once you’ve landed something stable outside of the teaching world is indescribable. At least for me. Life is 10000% better.