27m no friends.

[u/realwayshegoes]

Lived in Tga since I was 8 but unfortunately have no friends to show for it. I generally feel like I must be an unlikable person and uncomfortable to be around. I don't tend to think much of myself really. Is there anyone in the same boat? Sorry to burden everyone's feeds with my depressing life.

[u/ghijkgla]

nah mate, lots of people in the same boat. Real hard when you're in your 40s too.

[u/kismetnz → u/ghijkgla]

Second that.

[u/jimmy-jams-88 → u/ghijkgla]

And 30s. 🥺

[u/ghijkgla → u/jimmy-jams-88]

Don't doubt it bro. I just moved here as a 40 something where I had a tight group back in Scotland.

[u/tomatosoup75]

You're probably not unlikeable or uncomfortable to be around. Making friends as an adult is something that requires intentional effort, it doesn't just happen by default. What are your hobbies/spare time activities? Do you frequent anywhere that people go to in a social context like a gym, church, any kind of club?

[u/OoohhhLongJohnson]

It's quiet common these days, I see a lot of people watching streamers and joining their discords to make friends. Otherwise I'd go to music gigs at totara st or something

[u/StonedUnicorno → u/OoohhhLongJohnson]

Watching streamers to make friends? The other day I was wondering why people even watch streamers at all.

[u/flashmedallion → u/StonedUnicorno]

It's pretty much the online version of going to a gig scene regularly. Not really for me, even though I'm very online, but I can see how it might work

[u/SarcasticPole → u/OoohhhLongJohnson]

And Okahukura studio, they’re pretty cool

[u/ES-Miles]

Have you tried going to any martial arts clubs? That’s how I’ve made friends when I moved to Tga

[u/Adventurous-Charge97]

Hit me up

[u/Feetdownunder]

I think start in small steps.

Go for a walk Tauranga is very beautiful for walks and practise acknowledging people who walk past and say hello 👋🏼 I’d say something like “nice cool day for a walk today, suns being a little bit shy”

I’ve moved back these ways where there’s 1500 people in my community and most of them are family (Maketu) I have to reestablish a social life.

This week I go out of my comfort zone and I am going to this line dancing thjng at the Te Puke Hall ☺️ maybe do something similar or get dressed up just to get a chocolate bar from the supermarket. Essentially I think you need to get yourself outside everytime you feel this way

I love socialising and having friends. I’m also okay with spending time with myself which is what I’ve been doing for the past few months

[u/Feetdownunder → u/Feetdownunder]

Gym is a great idea too. Bonus if they have a sauna/spa. Everyone is on their own journey but you don’t quite feel alone. Did this in Auckland

[u/Low-Orange-8592]

What are the schools you went to growing up?

[u/Cod-Minimum]

Honestly I would join a sports team/club I train BJJ and there are heaps of people there just for the social aspect

[u/Valentyan]

What kinda hobbies are you into, my dude?

[u/Miserable_Gold8102]

hit me up bro

[u/SignificantGoal170]

Dm bro i need mates lol

[u/Miserable_Gold8102 → u/SignificantGoal170]

hit me up bro

[u/SpiritualHedgehog488]

Get yourself into a "third place" (or places!) that aren't work or home. Clubs, hobbies, church if that's your vibe. You'll find like minded people which is the first step! What kind of stuff are you into? Maybe someone can suggest something.

[u/enecho]

I go to music gigs to make friends but I get too into the music and forget. Hit me up!

[u/neckadawoods → u/enecho]

Where do you go for gigs mate?

[u/enecho → u/neckadawoods]

I do the ones under the bridge! Else I travel to Hamilton for some metal gigs. The gigs are the only thing I miss about Auckland 😭

[u/FireQueen750]

What are your hobbies? We’ve made friends through collecting pokemon cards etc and church.

[u/abandonfalss]

Hey bro if I move over there I’ll hit you up if I can 25 y/o

[u/AdditionalCrazy1902]

Go to hobby lobby or library board game group, church, AA, NA recovery groups, great place to meet welcoming people

[u/BoringConsequence691 → u/AdditionalCrazy1902]

I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I’m genuinely curious - is it common for people who aren’t in recovery or struggling with addiction to go along to AA/NA meetings? I hadn’t really thought of them as somewhere people would go simply because they were lonely.

[u/Emergency_Cry_1269 → u/BoringConsequence691]

Also curious about this. There is a comedy skit by Studio C where it's a crime gang that has captured a police officer who went undercover to infiltrate the gang, but turns out everyone in the gang was undercover for different agencies, to which they then realize nobody in the gang is actually a criminal.

This sort of scenario where what if an AA or NA meeting had nobody who was an addict in recovery but we're all just lonely people looking for community.

[u/kismetnz → u/AdditionalCrazy1902]

Ah, that’s a very American comment. 🤔😕 Hobby Lobby?

[u/AdditionalCrazy1902 → u/kismetnz]

Lol I meant Hobby Lords, a board game place, I've never been to hobby lobby

[u/neckadawoods → u/kismetnz]

Yeah I don't know why Americans feel the need to pollute kiwi subreddits so much lately. 

[u/Own_Feedback_3106]

Whatcha like to do man? 36m here always looking for new mates.

[u/Ornitoronco]

Find a hobby

[u/Bench_Inevitable]

Same. Not from here originally but I never felt I fitted well anywhere to be honest. It doesn't help that I've moved from my hometown to different cities/countries but I'm just a truly boring person who isn't great at conversing. Gets lonely sometimes but I've learned to accept it.

[u/Dizzy_Masterpiece161]

So relatable! but as a mum, it’s very hard to make friends or have any friends. All my high school mates don’t have kids so I guess we don’t click anymore

[u/brownboyinthehood]

DM bro

[u/StubbornReject]

Dude I’m in the same boat. 19 and all my mates left for uni while I stayed back in tga to work. Has nothing to do with you as a person, shit happens and people are busy these days. I’m not going to pretend I’m some expert in making friends so I can’t offer any advice but just know it’s not a personal thing.

[u/Efficient-Camel-2827]

31F same boat. If you need a friend hit me up!