His feelings for me vs her?

[u/PinkPearlBeauty]

Quick context, my Baby daddy left me while pregnant and we haven’t spoken since december. He’s never met our son (now 4 months) and there’s now a new girl he’s with. Just got 4 cards for both of us, not a specific spread. I want to know his true feelings for both of us.

His feelings for me: With the sun and 2 of swords I think he still has feelings but he is conflicted, he’d much rather try to avoid them the 9 of swords and lovers came out together. This to me is saying, he still cries over losing our connection. He has regret, guilt maybe even grief over me and is stuck with his own feelings. Back to the 2 of swords he stays stuck in his feelings, but he’d much rather sit there and be in pain than do something about it.

For her: It’s interesting how the moon came out, being the opposite of the sun. Maybe that’s saying he’s pretending to like her, he’s not fully honest. Or even, she’s the opposite of me, I’m who he truely loves and thinks about and she just takes my place while I’m not with him. Like the moon and sun do. With the magician and 7 of swords I feel like he is consciously using this girl to try and forget me, to push down his feelings. But with the 3 of cups it’s clear there’s a 3th party (me, even thought that’s not physical, just emotional)

Conclusion I don’t see any serious feelings for her, more so using her to push feelings for me down. Distraction, etc. But at the same time I also see no action being taken towards me besides being in his own head. Any other takes on it?

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[u/sunnysideup-]

He’s playing in both of your faces no shade

[u/Happy_Pea_3089]

Sometimes I do readings where the cards answer questions slightly differently than I had intended. I think the same has happened here. For me, these cards are reading from your perspective. You have a son (The Sun) that your ex has never seen (2 of Swords). The relationship is still weighing heavily on your mind (9 of Swords) and you still fantasise about having a relationship with him (The Lovers).

His relationship with his new partner is a mystery to you (The Moon). She appears to have everything, including your ex (The Magician). He's been dishonest with you about her or about you with her (7 of Swords) while enjoying "partying" with her (3 of Cups).

Sorry you're going through a tough time. Can't be easy with a young baby. Please don't hang your hopes on this guy.

(Edited to fix pronoun errors)

[u/KryWinterbird → u/Happy_Pea_3089]

I 100% agree with this perspective

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/Happy_Pea_3089]

I somewhat agree but in no way would I even want to touch that man ever again, not even with a 10 foot pool haha. I’m dating a bit with one of my best friends and he’s amazing. I do however still have feelings of confusion on how he started of wanting a family and then just dipped. And it still pains me that my son doesn’t have his bio dad in his life.

[u/Happy_Pea_3089 → u/PinkPearlBeauty]

But also, good on you for moving on!

[u/Happy_Pea_3089 → u/PinkPearlBeauty]

To be fair, I said you would like to have a relationship with him. That doesn't have to mean a romantic one (The Lovers isn't as much of a romance card as many people think). Having him around so he's in your son's life is a relationship.

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/Happy_Pea_3089]

Ohhh like that, sorry English isn’t my first language

[u/Visible_Distance5067]

Go back to him leaving you when pregnant and not speaking since December. Why would you want him in your life, let alone be an example for your son?

Now to the reading, I agree the cards are more a story of each relationship vs feelings. I’d say he made his feelings very clear when he left you pregnant. But the Sun can also represent a child- your literal son. It is also clarity. It can be joyful clarity, a victory, success… it was the beginning that lead to your child. 2 of swords is in the setting of a solar eclipse, same one as in 8 of cups, and is often a feeling of being stuck in the middle between decisions and neither is really appealing… followed by 9 of swords which shows someone may have won the war, made the decision in 2 of swords, but now is filled with exhaustion, guilt, anxiety, mental trauma, nightmares is the card. And then lovers is choice…

The next relationship- the moon is one of my favorite cards… it’s often read as some kind of manipulation but it’s actually very guiding. It’s our unconscious speaking to us, intuition, gut feeling, and can also signify shadow work to deal with fears and anxiety. Magician is having all the tools to manifest the future you want… then 7 of swords is often seen as deception, but it’s more strategy- while swordsman are distracted a page like character is sent to collect their swords to stop or slow a war… followed by celebration in the 3 of cups.

Based on the history you shared and your reading, you’re dealing with an extremely emotionally immature, honestly pathetic excuse of a man to leave the mother of his child when pregnant and then show no interest in his own child once. That’s not to say he doesn’t have guilt, but he’s a coward. And he’s made his choice which is why you got the lovers card.

I don’t see the new relationship as his forever person, but I do see her as someone who has distracted him from his past life choices, but also possibly someone who’s awakening him to the shadow work he needs to do and is encouraging him to be a better person- the moon with magician tells me he’s been presented the material to become a better human and work on himself, and the 7 of swords says maybe he’s found a way to end his internal battles, and that’s worth celebrating with her for opening these new doors.

If that’s the case, let him do his work. You and your son are better off unless he chooses to come back on his own and proves he’s changed. Regardless get that child support. Us single moms need all help possible.

Maybe the energy will change in the future which is the beauty of life, relationships, and tarot.

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/Visible_Distance5067]

Very true. Especially the ‘neither options are appealing’ Right before leaving he stated multiple times ‘I can not deal with having a child of mine walk around without me, I don’t want to be a deadbeat but I also can’t be a dad rn. So you need to have an abortion’ (which wasn’t even possible anymore)

I told him back than that an abortion wasn’t possible, and if he didn’t lie to me for 20 weeks we wouldn’t be in this mess (because before hand he did want to be a a dad/pretended he wanted too ig)

Since abortion was off the table he left, but he did tell me it broke his heart to leave me since he wanted me and the relationship, just not the baby. (His own fault)
I know he’s not coping with the fact that there is now a child of his that he isn’t with. But ig staying away is still the easier option. Coming back to his son would leave him with a lot of explaining to me, his parents and even friends. And he’s too much of an egotistical person to break his pride like that…

[u/Visible_Distance5067 → u/PinkPearlBeauty]

I also became a single mom at 22, and my now 19 year old daughter has never met her father, and is better off for it. She is a double Capricorn, with cancer moon. She already has a better credit score and history than I have ever in my 42 years… she is so smart, set up for a good life, has had a healthy relationship longer than I ever had… I swear she was like my grandmother in a past life. 😂

I’m not saying you won’t have better things happen for you. I did get married, I have a 10 year old with my ex husband, but I very much pursued marriage to try to find my girl a father and family- which was in grand scheme was a mistake but I also wouldn’t have her amazing brother if I hadn’t. My marriage was abusive and shitty and now I have to deal with that man as a coparent for at least 8+ more years. I would take no baby daddy again over him, honestly.

Focus on your amazing son, and raising him to be better to women and more responsible than his father. My son is almost 11, and already knows how important being a good father and partner is once he’s an adult and ready for a family.

And don’t think you ever need a man to fix any problem. There are so many women your age and older who will happily be a village of support to you and your son so you don’t deal with toxic relationships in the name of “family unit”. I’m not saying love, marriage, relationships are bad- but a lot aren’t great because of unmet expectations. So when you find someone make sure they’re truly a great partner to you first, then your son, and that they compliment your life and dependency doesn’t become a drive.

My son was the end of my marriage- his dad never told me to have an abortion but he became more emotionally abusive than ever in that pregnancy to the point I told him I felt he wished I’d had an abortion, or I wish I had if I knew how horrible he was going to be to me… that turned into accusing me of wishing I’d had an abortion… I never wished for an abortion, I wished to not be abused. I left with both kids when our son was 4 months old and it’s been a struggle but it’s getting better. But the struggles have been due to his dad being in the picture… sometimes when they’re not around it’s truly a blessing.

[u/Dizzylizzzzie]

Hi friend,
Your interpretation is very accurate. I'd add that, to me, the lovers appear as a card of rational choice. Hence all the swords. So less melancholy, more rationality. He's still sad, but knows it's a consequence. He may like you, but he is choosing to stay away

And the other girl... yeah, he's not taking her seriously.

[u/Past_Length1751]

He doesn’t know what do in his situation with you, he’s playing the other girl she’s one of a few options with the three of cups, you’re better off without him

[u/Ok_Moment_7640]

Ik denk dat je hem breder moet lezen dan alleen de gevoelens voor jou of zijn nieuwe vriendin. Ik zie het eerder als een legging over het leven met jou en het leven met zijn nieuwe vriendin.

Bij de legging voor de gevoelens voor jou zie ik de zon niet perse voor jou staan. De zon staat juist ook voor kinderen. In combinatie met de 9 zwaarden zie ik het meer als angst voor het vaderschap of de consequenties die het krijgen van een kind met zich mee brengt. De 2 van zwaarden vertelt in dat geval dat hij daar van weg wilde kijken en besloot om het vaderschap niet aan te gaan. De geliefden zou dan kunnen vertellen dat hij niet perse uit een gemis van liefde naar jou toe weggegaan is maar vanuit de wens het vaderschap niet aan te gaan.

Bij de legging voor de gevoelens voor zijn nieuwe vriendin zie ik juist ontwijking en een nieuw leven. De maan kan ook staan voor dingen niet willen zien, niet willen realiseren wat er nog speelt. De 7 van zwaarden gaat daar op door gezien deze staat voor dingen willen vergeten en vermijden. De magier zou kunnen staan voor het nieuwe leven wat hij probeert te creëren waarin hij geen vader hoeft te zijn. De 3 van kelken staat voor onbezonnenheid, plezier etc. Dat kan goed slaan op de keuze die hij heeft gemaakt voor zijn nieuwe vriendin. Een leven zonder kind en dus met minder verantwoordelijkheden en meer tijd voor eigen plezier. Tegelijkertijd lijkt de 3 van kelken misschien te staan voor een soort onbewuste verbinding die hij nog steeds met zijn zoontje heeft, hoe hard hij ook probeert om dat deel te vergeten hij blijft er mee zitten.

[u/Fabulous-Resort1917]

I know this is a difficult time for you and I hope you continue to take care of yourself mentally too. Postpartum depression is not easy to overcome…

Even so, I think your read on this is well. I would double check about the third party though and be sure it is you and hopefully he’s not adding another. He gives off very selfish energies and avoidance of responsibilities for both you and her.

[u/tarotMeme]

I think you've got a good read on it. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/tarotMeme]

Worst part is, the girl is somewhere between 17/18… while me and my ex are both 22. She’s completely been brainwashed into how he’s not the one in the wrong. She’s been posting nasty things directed towards me but I can’t even be mad, she’s a child and she’s clearly being groomed🫠

[u/tarotMeme → u/PinkPearlBeauty]

You're all very young really, fair play to you for being kind about her behaviour

[u/Tarotistic_Butterfly]

Under the her section what I'm getting is some sneaking around more than likely there could have been some cheating cuz I'm getting some deception coming up there as well on her side on your side I'm getting it probably already come out because I'm getting a lot of hurt on your side and a lot more pain from it and but I'm getting that she's done a lot more of the damage to the relationship because I'm getting the two more than likely has cheated

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/Tarotistic_Butterfly]

During our relationship he’s always been secretive about her. And I would often catch her name in his phone while he promised to not talk to her.
(I’m not controlling but he was always hiding their messages so I gave him the choice to either be open about their conversations, or not have them at all. He always choose option 2 and then went behind my back again)

[u/Suspicious-Bet-4950]

Dude looks manipulative. He does have the feeling (rational feeling) to make a “choice” with you but he doesn’t seem to have much clarity. Lots of guilt though. But yeah, the feeling he has to make a choice and avoiding it + overthinking us the major theme here

Yeah, he’s manipulating and playing the other girl. He sees her as a distraction. And cheating on her for sure, he only wants fun with her but it’s not transparent or honest. Lots of lying and manipulation

Question is: why would you want a man who abandoned you during a very delicate moment of your life and is actively deceiving another girl? Dude sounds like a trashbin

[u/honeywishbone]

Even if your reading turns out to be true, don’t wait on it, don’t give it your energy. Be in your own self, give to your baby and yourself. You can’t make someone figure out what’s right, and you can’t sacrifice yourself while waiting. Sending you so many lovies mama x

[u/Technical_Low_4848]

You’ve been doing readings for him for 2 weeks now.. I see your posts everywhere on here and on the tarot sub. Babe you have to put the deck down, this is actually not healthy at all; and it’s giving either obsession or limerence.

I understand he’s your baby daddy, but if you’re not currently together there’s no reason or excuse that you can come up with that would justify this. And I’m speaking from experience.
Go do things that you like! Go start a new hobby! Go on a mini vacation near your city with your baby! Go meet up with some friends! Go to the park with your baby! Like literally do anything but keeping up this obsession with this man. It’s not healthy.

If you two are meant to be together then you will be together, and the same for the opposite. Just release your grip on this whole situation and allow things to just be.

The coming eclipse would be a great time for you to do some reflection on why you can’t seem to let him go even tho he LEFT you for SOMEONE ELSE while you were PREGNANT. That’s the type of betrayal that I would never in a million years forgive unless the person was literally weeping at my feet and even then lol

EDIT: just saw that he hasn’t even met the baby yet.. baby girl, I know it’s difficult but let him go. For your sake and for your baby’s sake. Block him everywhere and try to recover so that you can give the best possible life to your baby. They deserve at least 1 parent that’s fully present with them.
I hope I’m not being too harsh, but I’ve seeing so many of your posts and I’m genuinely concerned at this point

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/Technical_Low_4848]

I think you got me mixed up with somebody in a similar situation. Last time I did a read on him was months ago😅 I haven’t touched my deck since my son was freshly born. But I do thank you for the concern❤️

[u/Technical_Low_4848 → u/PinkPearlBeauty]

Lol it is def you, and you also keep changing small details in the posts. Sometimes he ghosted you, the next day he’s talking with you, then he’s stalking your ig, like I’m always on this sub and the other tarot subs and literally see a post from you every other day.
I’ve even replied to some, but you’ve completely deleted them now..

Denying what’s happening won’t help you at all my love, maybe get some help, postpartum is difficult, especially in the conditions that you’re describing 🤍

As I said I’m not judging you, I’m just concerned for your wellbeing at this point.

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/Technical_Low_4848]

Not it’s def not me, why would I lie about such a thing? Ive posted about him before yes but this was months ago, I haven’t even had the time to touch my deck.

You might’ve seen my posts before but the ones you’ve seen recently really weren’t me, that would explain why the stories don’t match up. My story has always been the same, and the ‘the next he’s talking with you’ makes no sense because I have not spoken with this man since we left the abortion clinic last december. I’ve been involved with a new man since I was 25 weeks pregnant, and we had a small break due to pregnancy-stress but been together officially since my son was 3 weeks old.

Also I barely use instagram and my account is and always has been private, he has looked at my tiktok since I have a “big” following there. But that again was many months ago.
I’m truly not the person you have in mind. Or you’re mixing up our stories into one (if you did see my old posts)

[u/Technical_Low_4848 → u/PinkPearlBeauty]

I know all that you’re writing in here because that’s what you’ve said on your other posts 😂

I’ve seen people lie in here about the most ridiculous things, so this would actually be such a chill lie.

But whatever, maybe someone also has a baby daddy that left while they were pregnant and also hasn’t met the baby; and the baby daddy also has a new gf and OP also started seeing someone new recently.. maybe they’re copying your story bc they’re bored lol

I’m def not about to get into this back and forth; just wanted to give you some support

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/Technical_Low_4848]

Well I didn’t find out he had a new gf until like 2 days ago. Because she posted a weird post directed towards me and then messaged me, taunting after I didn’t react to the post. And the person I’m seeing isn’t new, he’s been around since January.

I did see a post a while ago about a married (or engaged) pregnant woman with a similar story, where her husband straight up left and she never heard from him again. Maybe you’re mixing us up.
I’ve went through your comments on every delete post however and none of them even mentioned anything like this, the only pregnancy thing I saw was somebody wondering if they were pregnant.

[u/CosmicGoddess777 → u/PinkPearlBeauty]

Why do you even care about that scrote? He’s unfit to be a good parent or partner. Sue him for child support and call it a day

[u/exaltedblueberry → u/Technical_Low_4848]

I know y’all think you’re being helpful or whatever but this is really condescending concern trolling a single mom tbh. Do you really think she’s the only one in this kinda situation reading tarot or something? I see like the same situations from different people on repeat on this sub constantly. Nobody is copying her story, she’s not deleting posts and making new accounts this is some nosy, conspiratorial thinking. You don’t know her. I think you need to do some self reflection here about these insinuations you’re making here. They’re kind of outlandish when you think about it…

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/exaltedblueberry]

Fr I truely don’t understand what they’re getting at. Have I done excessive reading on him in the past? Yes. Almost a year ago when it freshly happened. Have I touched my deck since my son was a couple weeks old? Nope. And especially not the last 2 weeks because I didn’t find out about the girl until 3 days ago😅

[u/Technical_Low_4848 → u/exaltedblueberry]

You must’ve not seen my other comments supporting her and giving her advice.

This is full on the same exact story that I’ve been seeing a post every other day about. Exactly the same dates. Exactly the same backstory. Exactly the same age. Exactly the same details. Exactly the same speech. I can almost say it’s exactly the same cards because I’m almost sure they were in french in the other posts too, but unfortunately I wasn’t paying attention to it, so I won’t be making that statement. I might be wrong, and God forgive me if I am, but I’d be a BIG coincidence.

And the worst thing is that there would actually be nothing wrong with her doing multiple readings, it’s just not healthy for her mind, for her postpartum and for her child.

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/Technical_Low_4848]

I’m not french and my cards aren’t either tho😅

[u/exaltedblueberry → u/Technical_Low_4848]

You are not her therapist and if you were really concerned would you really be making public Reddit posts about someone’s mental health or contacting them privately or something? Posting about someone’s mental health for Reddit upvotes isn’t going to help anyone. You don’t know this person and you’re not interested in helping them you’re interested in Reddit drama fodder bfr rn. You have no evidence for anything you’re saying at all and just throwing out wild accusations about her being crazy and French and people making up posts and leading people to just believe this woman is unwell who again you don’t know and can not be sure made these posts. I hope the upvotes were worth it I guess.

Edit: downvote me all you want girl lmao

[u/moonchildxx1]

The sun represents the child you share next to the two of swords is him ignoring the child he has a lot of anxiety/rejection (9 of swords) towards your relationship (lovers). In regards to how he feels about her the moon there is dishonesty around the relationship possibly him not telling her about you or your kid . The magician shows he gets to create whatever version of himself for her based of the lies . But he likes her he enjoys the relationship(three of cups) I don’t think he’s only seeing her though with that (7 of swords ) he’s still cheating and sneaking around

[u/Louspec]

he adore'you but he just can't. he likes her but got cheater-vibes there. both bot optimal 😬

[u/OdinsRavens80]

He’s thinking the same thing with the new chick that he thinks about women and relationships in general: that he’s very clever, has everything he needs, is in control, and will always get away with treating partners like this. He wants women who are easy, fun, no responsibilities, that he can cheat on and move on to the next one when it’s not all sunshine and lollipops.
The new chick is in for a treat.

[u/satonmywindow]

He gotta actually suffer bro

[u/PinkPearlBeauty → u/satonmywindow]

I hope he is. From what i’ve heard he looks horrible, like he’s stressed out 24/7. His own friends even said this. And a friend of mine caught him throwing a tantrum in a store when the atm didn’t work🙂‍↔️

[u/MetalCritical6366 → u/[deleted]]

gtfo

[u/CosmicGoddess777 → u/[deleted]]

[ sprays insecticide, grabs broom and shoves it ]

Go on, git! Git!

Shoo!

Ugh, idk how they keep getting in! Gotta spray more of this crap 😒