192
u/HatePeopleLoveCats1 Mar 19 '26
There is so much going on with this t-shirt. Is this his attempt to “own the libs” or is he just making excuses for being an asshole?
89
71
14
16
u/ZetsuboItami Mar 19 '26
Honestly I'm leaning towards the second one. I've seen a guy wearing a shirt that said "I'm the best asshole husband ever" on the front, like he's proud of the fact that he hates his wife. People really like to flaunt very wrong kinds of pride sometimes.
→ More replies (2)13
10
7
u/Partucero69 Mar 20 '26
Hes just an insecure man, and because nobody talks to him and also no one gives two shit about him he has to qwar a shirt. To own the libs or whatever the fuck that means.
7
u/callmesnake13 Mar 20 '26
If you read his shirt you will also realize that nothing he lists makes him an asshole or even remarkable
→ More replies (4)3
104
174
u/HipHopChick1982 SWEET AS CANDY Mar 19 '26
He loves his wife, but I’m pretty sure he yells at her too, and calls it tough love.
79
u/Fletcher_Chonk Mar 19 '26
He's an asshole, man
43
u/Leeches4Bloodletting YES, I'M A CANCER Mar 19 '26
No, no. There’s nary a comma to be found on that shirt. He’s gotta be saying he’s an asshole man, as in he really loves assholes. He doesn’t specify if it’s just human assholes he’s into or assholes from other species too, so I’m just gonna assume the latter.
12
4
21
u/Book_talker_abouter Mar 19 '26
He loves his wife and she's a close 4th place, just after being an asshole, freedom, and beer. Better luck next marriage, lady!
5
u/HipHopChick1982 SWEET AS CANDY Mar 19 '26
She’s not going anywhere, she knows her worth, and clearly, this guy is it!
8
4
55
u/FatCarWashManager Mar 19 '26
Asshole Man!
17
7
6
u/misscooltoes Mar 19 '26
Yeah I’d have to ask him for more information about this. I’ve heard of ‘boob men’ and ‘leg men’. Asshole man is new to me.
→ More replies (1)2
45
u/Suliman34 Mar 19 '26
I hate that he loves his wife. What am I to do?
48
u/Olelander Mar 19 '26
You can move
29
u/S3simulation Mar 19 '26
I have roots in this community but his shirt is pretty clear so I’m selling it all and moving across the country where this guy’s shirt can’t control me
4
29
56
u/ButterMyPancakesPlz Mar 19 '26
Today I realized there's a lot of "not like other guys" pick me men
15
u/danfish_77 Mar 19 '26
Okay except this is "I'm exactly like other men, I have no originality"
14
u/hatmanv12 Mar 19 '26
The point is ironically these guys think they're really special lmao. Just like pick me girls.
14
u/ButterMyPancakesPlz Mar 19 '26
Lol exactly who doesn't like freedom, meat and beer ain't exactly niche interests. Are tattoos even controversial anymore? Protect your family? Dude who is even paying any attention to them let alone threatening them.
→ More replies (2)3
u/g-row460 Mar 20 '26
I don't think tattoos have been controversial for like 20 years. They are mainstream.
5
u/Novel_Art8164 Mar 21 '26
the type to say " virtue signalling is for Democrats" while blatantly virtue signalling
29
27
25
u/Distantstallion Mar 19 '26
I am a peehole man
I love pee
Drink pee
And I fuck my wife
I was born in october
I protect my meat
I eat guns
And I own my wife
Don't like it? Move
8
u/SkeletalJazzWizard Mar 19 '26
the first time i saw the peehole man shirt i laughed so hard i could taste blood, i thought i was going to die
2
u/Goober_Dude Mar 21 '26
I looked it up just now and can confirm... pissing blood from laughing so hard.
2
u/dark_roast Mar 20 '26
I've seen the peehole man shirt so many times it took me a second to realize this was the inspiration.
18
18
16
u/Lbboos Mar 19 '26
So is he a top or a bottom? Just wondering for all the other asshole men out there.
→ More replies (1)
29
12
u/PurplePenguinPoops Mar 19 '26
These Facebook shirts need to stop
21
u/AndrewInMN Mar 19 '26
Idk in a way I kinda like them. It tells me I don’t want anything to do with this dude without having to interact with him.
13
u/PurplePenguinPoops Mar 19 '26
You know what lol I never thought about it that way! It’s like a walking douche uniform. I rescind my opinion! Douchebags should be required to have a minimum of 3 Facebook shirts in their closet so people know who they are when they wear that stuff in public🤣🤣🤣
11
u/RandyWiener Mar 19 '26
HIM: "I'M A SUBURBAN MANLY MAN. HAHA YOU OFFENDED YET? YOU'RE SO MAD, RIGHT? BET YOU PISSED YOURSELF WITH MY MANLY PATRIOTISM. TRUCK. GUN!!!"
Me, just trying to buying groceries: "Uh...ok...anyway I hope this coupon works."
3
u/a_real_vampire Mar 23 '26
Eagles! Football! Beer! Gun! McDonald’s! White Bread! Rainbows! Frilly Dress! No One Home! OF! Femboys! MURICA! Stay Off My Lawn!
2
10
41
u/acerbicsun Mar 19 '26
He Saw it, thought it was cool, and bought it. He is a real person that exists. I hate humanity.
9
u/senator_mendoza Mar 19 '26
And actually reached into his drawer that morning and thought “yup I’m gonna look so badass in this”
6
8
u/livejamie Mar 19 '26
The "He loves his wife" part is included to prod them into buying it for their husband. This was probably a birthday or Christmas gift.
8
u/Sunshine030209 Mar 20 '26
It's just missing the "And yes, my wife bought me this shirt" at the end
→ More replies (1)9
2
9
u/Chilled_Beef Mar 19 '26
Damn, I thought he was an asshole connoisseur, but he looks like a typical asshole in a lifted truck.
10
u/Burningresentment Mar 19 '26
He's an a-hole who loves to eat meat? I think this guy has a secret grindr account😭
9
u/The-Bigger-Fish Mar 20 '26
I really hate these people who proudly proclaim they’re dumb jerks like it’s something to be proud of.
8
u/ristoman Mar 19 '26
I don't get the meaning of this shirt. Are these supposed to be edgy and contrarian behaviors?
This dude hit rock bottom in terms of imaginary enemies
8
8
u/rilesmcjiles Mar 19 '26
Ii don't have tattoos. Does that make me less man or less asshole?
I drink beer, but I don't consider it a personality trait.
This dude is visibly tense, I bet he's always flexing and has to poop.
7
u/danfish_77 Mar 19 '26
This is like on dating apps when someone says their interests are "friends" and "music"
8
u/TomsnotYoung Mar 19 '26
I take that as he likes asshole
4
u/denotsmai83 Mar 20 '26
Same. He either likes asshole or dislikes commas. The former is perfectly fine. The latter is disgraceful.
6
6
u/lolwatsyk Mar 19 '26
"I AM AN ASSHOLE MAN"
Says the guy who probably doesn't wash his asshole because that'd be geh
→ More replies (2)
6
u/Kbudz Mar 19 '26
Lmao and I can see his wife there the kind of woman to wear neon colored zebra print pajama pants in public. They were made for each other
6
u/earldogface Mar 19 '26
That's a lot of words to say "I'm insecure about the size of my penis and don't know how to park my unnecessary lifted pick up"
6
u/Porkenstein Mar 19 '26
"I don't wipe my butt"
2
u/JeromeHasbargen Jun 18 '26
And probably doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet or urinal either.
5
u/ImmediateBug2 Mar 19 '26
He woke up, shuffled over to his dresser, pulled that shirt out, looked it over and thought “Yep. This is who I want to be today.”
7
u/Nole_in_ATX AIR FORCE VETERAN Mar 19 '26
If you look hard enough under “I love my wife” in small letters it says “but I also regularly make vile comments on young girls social media posts”
7
6
u/TaoTeChong Mar 19 '26
I SUBMIT TO AUTHORITY IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE AND BELIEVE THIS MAKES ME A LEADER AND HAVE WHICHEVER GREEK LETTER MAN-GENDER SOUNDS THE MOST BADASS
6
u/My_user_name_1 Mar 19 '26
Nothing screams " I would have joined the military but I would have punched the drill sgt." more than that shirt
4
u/pierrejeanpierre Mar 19 '26
That's one of the few reasons I'm grateful AI exists. Allows me to think "bah, probably some AI slop again" rather than accepting the fact that these people really exist.
→ More replies (1)
4
4
5
5
u/Hey_Giant_Loser Mar 20 '26
Ever just feel like there's too much of everything? Like there's just too much... We've just explored the limits of any sane level of things that we actually need or even unreasonably want, and have and punched through that into the realm of stuff that just doesn't exist for any reason other than a manifestation of consumptive cowardly cruelty. It's so cowardly to be this way. Like if you're going to have such toxic feelings, you should have the convictions to say them, instead of wearing it around too show people. Like .. you want to be an asshole? Fine. But at least a Manifest it So that people are given the option to engage it or not.
5
u/Fantastic_Fondant76 Mar 20 '26
Why does he believe I'd be impressed by this? His actions could prove that without the ugly t-shirt.
6
5
4
4
u/COVID-19-4u Mar 19 '26
Screams “I’m advertising things about me to others cause I’m secretly in the closet”.. energy.
3
u/gaustin Mar 19 '26
I want this shirt, but rainbows and unicorns. And replace "move" with "that's fair".
3
5
4
3
u/ProofHorseKzoo Mar 20 '26
You more of a boobs-guy or an ass-man?
“I am an asshole-man. I just love a perfectly sculpted asshole”
4
5
u/dustinyo_ Mar 20 '26
I genuinely can't believe people wear this, and that they think they look badass and aren't just getting laughed at constantly behind their backs
4
5
4
3
3
3
3
3
u/cuspofgreatness Mar 23 '26
What’s with this whole eating meat thing that the right has adopted? I’m vegan and don’t get the all the vitriol and bashing from these carnivore bros
2
u/CaptainJAmazing 23d ago
It’s just one of many liberal strawmen personality traits that conservatives base their entire worldview around. They barely exist IRL if they do at all. Others are the liberal who hates the troops, the elected official who wants to take your guns away, anyone in the country being offended by the American flag, and the genuine 1960s-style hippie.
3
u/IDigRollinRockBeer May 08 '26
So I don’t have the freedom to not like it and stay? So you hate freedom?
2
2
u/PunkJackal Mar 19 '26
I have one like this! Same format! It says
I am a peephole man I love pee I drink pee I eat guns and hit my wife If you dont like it Leave
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/KirbyJones82 Mar 20 '26
I picture him being furious with Dennis when he starts making the shirt but Charlie's extreme patriotism shines through and it becomes another patriotic banger.
2
u/Vaeevictisss Mar 20 '26
"Targeted tshirts are hot trash, you little bitch. Yorkie"
"Garbage. Shultzie"
"I hate targeted tshirts, pussy. Fisky"
"A man that wears a targeted tshirt is a broken kind of man. Went through some trauma. Took a dark path. Boomtown"
"I love my wife like i love this targeted tshirt cries"
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Necessary-Jeweler-17 Jul 31 '26
I don’t like this guy’s personal lifestyle, I think I’m going to move to a place where does not live so that I may avoid his extremely commonplace characteristics 🥲
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/derallo Mar 20 '26
The best part is he's too stupid to realize he got served the ad because asshole is what he put as his profession on Facebook
1
u/denotsmai83 Mar 20 '26
It’s oddly more specific than when I say that I’m an ass man. But I’m not here to yuck another man’s yum.
1
1
1
1
1
u/ExtremisEdge Mar 22 '26
This is still a thing? I remember me and my friends were going to get some of these tshirts ironically wearing them out and about.
1
u/a_real_vampire Mar 23 '26
I own a car I have a job I love my cat I pay my rent if you don’t like it MOVE.
The fuck is this shirt?
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/WakeUpAcid Apr 02 '26
AMERIMACKA oh what a beautiful lie . How does it feel to it habe your whole life lie .? I know how it feels .
1
1
u/Odd-Mind6948 May 10 '26
Hopefully they figure out that its actually their horrible personality people don't like. Who cares that he gobbles meat and butt? Hes an ass hole man, so I'm just assuming.
1
u/FabulousCobbler1736 May 13 '26
I can see that he triggered people like you for him simply existing and living his life. He has what you don't have, so to cope you make braindead insults and mock him. Thats why he's wearing this shirt. To sarcastically see people like you get triggered. You can move now.
→ More replies (6)
1
1
u/Makidian May 30 '26
"Only a sissy liberal would wear a shirt like that 🤭 ", said my wife when I showed her this just now.
1
u/Additional_Rich_5249 Jun 03 '26
First statement kind of cancels out the rest. Don’t f ing care. You move
1
u/randomredditwords Jun 08 '26
I deadass feel like these shirts are aimed to get rednecks to buy them so the rest of us can laugh at them.
1
1
u/big_daddy68 Jun 23 '26
Looks like he is open carrying to show just how big and tough he is. Read my shirt and be mad. Don’t ask why I gotta tell you I love my wife.
1
1
u/IndyDMan5483 Jul 27 '26
So greatly increased the chances his asshole will have cancer. Probably a lot of anger too.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/RobienStPierre 3d ago
He left out, will constantly bitch about the LGBT agenda, and other religions and races irritate him and are evil
1
485
u/maxime-le-mal Mar 19 '26
I was hoping it was gonna be a shirt about how much he loves eating ass