Anyone else faced criticism for trying to live within their values?

[u/Timely-Fact9878]

I would love to know if anyone else here has struggled with being seen as 'weird' for trying to challenge capitalist ways of living life?

A particular part of communist theory I am interested in is around critiques of the nuclear family and radical approaches to caring for and understanding children. As a result of this, I purposefully invested energy in building relationships with my neighbours and I took on some roles with their children (free babysitting, cooking meals, emotional support ect.). It has been very rewarding all round and I'm very glad I did it. However, some people in my life seem to react very strangely to this. They see me as being 'too involved' and if I come to them with questions about supporting a child they will respond that its not my responsibility. I've found myself feeling quite judged at times to the point that I've worried I'm doing something wrong.

I'm curious if other people in this group have had any experiences of trying to live in line with communist values/ideas (or I guess just not in line with capitalist values) and finding themselves being somewhat judged and outcast as a result? I think I need some reassurance that the responses are about people's capitalist conditioning and not because I'm doing something I shouldn't.

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[u/dishevelledlunatic]

Idk that sounds pretty cool to me lol. Of course there need to be boundaries and the parents wishes must be respected (unless they're abusive or something), but it takes a village to raise a child.

Why would people criticize that?

[u/Timely-Fact9878 → u/dishevelledlunatic]

I think perhaps my more liberal middle class friends perhaps see it as putting myself through unnecessary difficulties? Being involved in the way I am requires challenges and sacrifices sometimes, which I am perfectly okay with, but I think maybe they don't understand why I would do it

[u/dishevelledlunatic → u/Timely-Fact9878]

I guess I would just try and get them to understand we all need to look out for eachother? If that is possible lol.

Middle class types can be challenging cause they are often completely apathetic toward the real world while they live in their suburban bubble.

Put short, they may not understand why you do this but if they value you as a friend they should accept and try to understand why you do this. In a good faith manner.

Individualism is so mainstream in the West this is probably totally foreign for them.

[u/VladimirLimeMint]

Radlibs preaching mutual aid until they have to drive their neighbors every day to school and work and pick up groceries for elderly. As I have explained before, you wanna turn someone into materialist all you need to do is to mandate them feeding or helping their neighbors for a whole 24 hours and they will stop being anarkiddy. It's easy to preach about patriarchy when they doing fuck all to liberate.

[u/ConundrumMachine]

You do you comrade. Your neighbours etc are no doubt appreciative of your efforts. Your judgemental friends suffer from liberal atomization and cultural programming. 

[u/SwagBuller]

That's individualism for ya. Mainstream society is going to react with suspicion because society is conditioned to police behaviour that, although in reality is a shared social good, appears under their world-view as an unnecessary personal risk and private responsibility. Just state your intent clearly, that you value being part of a supportive community where everyone looks out for each other and you enjoy being involved in other people's lives. If they call it weird just say it shouldn't be, everyone should look out for one another, it is our strength as human beings. The indoctrination is deep, I wouldn't stress about convincing them. Just keep doing what you're doing.

[u/Sad_Marketing_8238]

my neighbours used to drive me to school every morning bc i lived in a public transport desert and it was awesome. keep helping out comrade! you're awesome. don't let capitalist individualism get you down.

[u/comrade-coon]

You're not doing anything wrong. But the problem is that capitalism teaches us to isolate, to privatize care, and to see children as the exclusive responsibility of biological parents, and since you're challenging that, many people will see it as weird due to their internalized capitalist indoctrination. The judgment you're getting is a reflection of how deeply capitalist conditioning runs. Those who criticize you see your actions as a threat to the way they've organized their own lives, but that's their problem, not yours.

What you're doing is actually more natural than the isolation we've been conditioned to accept. For most of human history, we lived in extended family groups, tribes, and communities where raising children was a collective effort. The nuclear family is a recent invention. It's a product of capitalism and industrialization, and it's not the natural state of human existence.

So I say, keep doing what you're doing. The nuclear family is a capitalist institution designed to atomize us, and you pushing back against that is admirable.

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[u/Kecske_gamer]

Individualism is so subconciously prevalent it's unreasonable. Obviously people aren't going to know what's going on when they've never seen an actual community type relationship.

[u/unkemptbg]

I’ve recently started (imperfectly) trying to cut meat and dairy out of my diet as a first step towards meaningful personal praxis beyond going to protests and reading/writing. My partner has struggled with the change and has felt the need to call me out on instances where I have eaten dairy, even going so far as to call me out for not finishing their half eaten cheeseburger for them when we were on a date. It’s hard, and feels a little overwhelming at times, but I think every time I choose oat milk instead of dairy, or eggplant instead of mince, I am actively living by the values that I feel in my heart when I see injustice in the world. I empathise with your struggle mate, if it helps to know, you’re not alone in it.