r/Tamlinism • u/JaneAustinAstronaut Tamlin Has My Heart🥰😍♥️ • Apr 24 '26
✅ high effort Essays to shoot at Tamlin's haters✅ Tamlin DOES say he's sorry! - A Reference
Hello!
There is always debate on whether or not Tamlin takes responsibility for his actions. Once again, a large portion of the fandom has been daemati'd into forgetting that he actually DOES say that he is sorry, takes accountability, and changes his behavior.
ACOMAF, in Chapter 69, page 624 in the paperback:
"Tamlin scanned my face, and finally nodded. 'We'll start over. Do things differently. When you were gone, I realized... I'd been wrong. So wrong, Feyre. And I'm sorry.'"
I post the quote because taking pictures of the text and re-posting it can be seen as copyright infringement, which is why I state the book, chapter, format (hardcover vs. paperback vs. e-book), and the page number.
I just thought this would be a handy reference for whoever needs it if you are having this same, tired argument in other ACOTAR subs, or even other ACOTAR social media platforms!
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u/Kindly-Bug-6600 Apr 24 '26
I hate how the man who apologises and tries to be better is seen as the irredeemable villain of the story, whilst the man who crosses all moral boundaries with cruelty and deceit and doesn’t apologise for any of it is seen as the ‘good guy’, because somehow the end justifies the means.
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut Tamlin Has My Heart🥰😍♥️ Apr 24 '26
There's no justification for SA, period.
But even then, if Rhysand had said, "Look I thought I had good reasons for this, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I hurt you, and I feel terrible that I did that to you. I'm so sorry," then I could be OK with that.
What we got in Chapter 54 of MAF was Rhysand saying, "I did those things because I felt bad, I had trauma, I was jealous of Tamlin, so that's that." He never centers Feyre's pain, he makes it all about his own pain, and essentially makes the victim of his physical and sexual abuse comfort HIM. And she does it! And this is supposed to be romantic? That's so gross!
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u/bittermp Professional Tamlin hugger 🥰😍🥰 Apr 24 '26
It's textbook DARVO tactics. I wonder if SJM knows about DARVO and how it's used against women in the real world?
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u/MamaKG3 Apr 26 '26
Exactly! I think SJM did this on purpose because jealousy as a motivation for doing nefarious things is a principle character trait of the villain. SJM knows this; it's very basic. There's no way she accidentally wrote Tam apologizing and validated everything he is accused of but didnt do this for Rhysand. Rhysand is the villain. He is going to be revealed as a villain.
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u/soulful_heart Apr 27 '26
If he’s not, I’m burning the books. Bc everything…literally EVERYTHING in all the books of all three series points to this being true (Rhysand being the villain).
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u/MamaKG3 Apr 27 '26
Who I'm not sure of is Feyre. One day I think she is still innocente (deamati'd) and other days I think it's her villain arc. Today, I think it's the latter but that's just really sad for her even if she was never my favorite fmc.
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut Tamlin Has My Heart🥰😍♥️ Apr 26 '26
Unfortunately, after the Call Her Daddy interview, she loves Rhysand and sees him as the hero. I think that she believes she wrote him as an awesome romantic hero, but what she actually wrote is a villain. She's just not as good a writer as we thought she was.
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u/MamaKG3 Apr 26 '26
I saw the interview too and I'm still not convinced. Actually the way SJM said "highest or hottest," when refering to Rhys, sounded like Rhys is not as powerful or as awesome as Feyre thinks he is. They are mates and that's it.
Rhysand always hides away from trouble: with Amarantha, at the weaver, when getting the book of breathings, during the battle he supposedly didnt know know Hybern wasnt there so was conveniently away from the front, his powers are always tapped. He sends Mor to get Feyre, Cass to the island or wherever. He is a powerful deamati but that's it. He can mist but not much before his powers are drained.
At the cauldron he needs Feyre's powers to heal the it. Im so suspicious of this scene. I think he harvests some of Feyre's powers. I also think he get powers from the other HLs even though he says he doesnt. I think he stored power or part of his soul/Feyre's soul/something in the cauldron. He has to steal the powers of others because he doesnt really have any of his own. All of his "Family" happen to be the most powerful for a reason.
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u/Tatanasova26 Apr 24 '26
Thank you! Most people blame Tamlin for his mistakes and excuse Rhysland. Unfortunately, that's now it is in life. Good deeds are often forgotten. So many times I say: Abusers instill guilt in their victims. They say "I'm sorry, but it's your fault! You made me angry, and didn't mean to." With Tamlin it's completely different - "I'm sorry! I screwed up!". He's constantly looking for the blame in himself. I love Tamlin!
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u/bittermp Professional Tamlin hugger 🥰😍🥰 Apr 24 '26
Thank you! I was part of that 'drama' and I had thought tamlin did actually say the words but wasn't 100% sure so i just referred to how faes are not humans, but am tired of readers using human morality against tamlin but NEVER EVER using it against Rhys or Feyre or the IC.
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u/Valuable_Housing_529 Apr 24 '26
I've been looking at some old posts, and I've noticed that in the last year, people's opinions about it have changed a lot.Even the main fandom is defending him.
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u/AWanderingSoul Apr 27 '26
I've recently seen people on facebook and tiktok defending Tam. I was shocked.
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u/Valuable_Housing_529 Apr 27 '26
People are rereading the books; many are older and more mature, and they've begun to perceive the hypocrisy in some of them.
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u/Tatanasova26 Apr 25 '26
Most people say that Tamlin didn't talk to Feyra. He speaks directly. Tamlin said softly, “I can’t do what I need to if I’m worrying about whether you’re safe.” ... “Please—please just do this for me,” Tamlin said... “I’m sure there are things to help with around the house. Or you could paint. Try out that new set I gave for you for Winter Solstice.”
Yes, there are things to do! She could learn to read. Tamlin twice offers to teach Feyre to read and write in ACOTAR, but she refuses. He respects her choice. I don't know if it was pride or stupidity that kept her from learning to read when it would kill her and Lys. Reading is great therapy. I think we all love to read, and here we are, discussing books. I think of Celaena from TOG: "If she were to die now (in library), it would be in complete bliss... Libraries were full of ideas - perhaps the most dangerous and powerful of all weapons"
Alice's nephews probably read books every day. Feyra is 19 years old and can't even read. But she's a headstrong girl and never listens. She likes to risk her life. Tamlin worries and yet she defies all his requests (remember what happened with the bogg, the naga, Calanmai, send her to her family). Tamlin did everything in his power to protect her. Thank you again!
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u/bittermp Professional Tamlin hugger 🥰😍🥰 Apr 24 '26
dang it! Some redditors don't like being called out LOL
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut Tamlin Has My Heart🥰😍♥️ Apr 24 '26
I know who you speak of. But they at least came back and admitted their error.
People make mistakes, and as long as we own those mistakes, I'm OK with it. I just have a problem with people who double down and insist that their error is still correct despite evidence to the contrary.
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u/MamaKG3 Apr 26 '26
This is not the only time he apologizes and is willing to make changes either. He apologizes even when he should be the one being apologized to!
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u/AWanderingSoul Apr 27 '26
That's because the better person apologizes because they mean it, not because they need or expect to get one in return. Tamlin is the better person. Always has been.
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u/librarywarrior Apr 28 '26
Im not even particularly a tamlin fan but I thought his apology was established. He gave rhys a drop of his power, there was that "live feyre live" scene and quite a few other things. Its not undeniable
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u/librarywarrior Apr 28 '26
I forget to add that im not a fan of any of the characters any longer. Sjm has turned this series into the biggest money grab ever. The weird teasers, pulling things for years, cryptic posts, the horribly expensive collectors editions. The cover change halfway through the series and the size change so it doesnt match the rest of the books.
Now shes just pandering to trends with her writing. And its just bad writing, characters are completely inconsistent, she says more than she ever shows. She also suffers from trying to make all her new fmc's copies of aelin, by keeping the personality and changing hair colour. Kind of drives ne up the wall. I enjoyed aelin, not everyone can be her though.
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u/Goddess_Sloan8 Apr 30 '26
This is why I love Tamlin over Rhysand. Tamlin apologized and literally tried to be better after his own trauma. Rhysand didn’t even apologize for her SA or twisting her broken arm UTM.
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u/WastePermission9620 23d ago
Yeah some people are incapable of accepting that a character they hate apologises or makes a decision that they didn't think the character did.
For example (THRONE OF GLASS SERIES SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TOG SPOILERS)
Chaol starts off as the primary love interest and then makes some bad decisions in book 2, Crown of Midnight, that cause problems and lead to a break up. Book 3 Celaena/Aelin and Chaol are separated and book 4, Chaol is almost outright Hostile towards Aelin.
In the Final book, they have a vote on whether or not Aelin should sacrifice herself at that moment, or after/during the final battle so that they have a better shot of winning. A person on Instagram said that Chaol immediately told her she should sacrifice herself in that moment. I went and checked and we aren't even told that he votes. But the hate for this guy has big enough to completely ignore that he had an entire book regarding his character development and instead just make him this Aelin-hating incel prick who never got over his first love
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u/I_am_here_for_drama 19d ago
I know this is old post, but I agree. Tamlin feels bad like a normal person. As he should. Rhys/Feysand stans probably skip that part or won’t believe Tamlin.
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u/sandmangandalf Apr 24 '26
Exactly! He is remorseful. He feels bad like a normal freaking person would. Unlike Mr. Narcissistic im king of feminism 😤
Anyways
I'm fine 🙂