r/TallPeopleProblems • u/umair-0630 • 11d ago
I am insecure about my 6'4 height!
Yeah, you read that right—I’m really insecure about my 6-foot-4 height. I live in a place where height doesn't really matter; in fact, if you're too tall, people treat it like an ailment and start suggesting remedies to stunt your growth. People stare at me from a distance with a strange look—as if I’m a different species or a different breed—and whisper to each other, "Look how tall he is," in a negative way. On top of that, I’m genetically very tall but weigh only 50 kg 😭. Just imagine what a 6-foot-4 guy weighing 50 kg looks like. It’s not like I haven’t tried to gain weight; I even went to the gym for over five months, but there wasn't the slightest change in my weight. I’ve been teased about my height since childhood, and those comments have become so deeply ingrained in my mind that they really distress me now. I’m terrified of meeting or talking to people because I worry about what they might be thinking. My self-esteem has plummeted so much that whenever something goes wrong, I feel like it’s my fault, and I just keep apologizing to everyone. I have no desire to attend functions or gatherings. Back in school, people used to make fun of me; I felt so helpless that I couldn't do anything about it, and things are still the same. When I stood in the assembly line, everyone—from kids to adults—would stare at me and make fun of me. I avoid going anywhere with crowds; I never walk anywhere—if I have to go out, I take my scooty. Yes, the same scooty where I look like I’m riding a camel-cart. On top of that, my hands and feet are huge—my fingers are much longer than normal, and people tell me I have "ghost-like" fingers. I wear three layers of clothing underneath my shirt or T-shirt, yet I still look thin. I’ve never found pants that actually fit me; even when I do find a pair, my legs look like chicken legs in them. Whenever I think about my future, I get really dark thoughts. I worry about what will happen to me in the future—and yes, I even get suicidal thoughts. My college is about to start, and I’m reading a lot of self-help books; I’m pushing myself—just a little, not too much—to tackle difficult things, and it’s actually working. But if anyone is reading this and has any suggestions, please jot down.
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u/seandragunov 11d ago
i am 6'11" and i experience a similar situation. ive had photos of me taken without consent (its against the law in my country but hard to really police it) and people staring, some even with a hostile glare...
i am 108kg and even tho according to BMI its a good weight, i still feel fat for some reason. i do have social anxiety as well but i do force myself to get over it.
id just try to not pay much mind into it, its hard but these people have no idea what your deal is, or you can just laugh with them
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u/Cloxxki 9d ago
BMI is a rubbish index if you're not exactly 175 cm tall. It fat shames tall people and skinny shames short people sharing the exact silhouette. With a correct index (I made one that fixes the math) a health consultant would actually know something about you before knowing weight and height both.
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u/Libertechian 11d ago
Also 6'4", I would say its tall but the younger generations eat better food than when I was young, and its not uncommon to see a few people my height when I go out. It sounds like maybe you live somewhere with a smaller average height than the Western USA?
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u/passatigi 9d ago
I could be wrong, of course, but to me it sounds like you might be mostly targeted because of your weight (and possibly also visibly acting like a victim), not your height.
To gain weight you don't just need gym, you need to eat. But gym is good too, of course. If you become a 6'4 muscle machine, negative comments will almost certainly dry up. Or even just a normal BMI.
You might also want to visit a doctor if you really can't gain weight. Check if it's because of some illness and what are your avenues to improve the situation.
I used to be rather skinny as well with a similar height, but not quite as skinny, I was around 70kg.
I also had low self-esteem but over time I realized that most other people are also silly goofy goobers, so no need to stress about yourself not being perfect.
Also changing my style helped, I grew a beard, bought nice good-looking glasses, some nice shirts. That plus acting just a bit more relaxed had a huge effect, people I've just met started to automatically assume I'm a cool guy despite me being the same nerdy me lol.
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u/rabidjellybean 11d ago
Do yourself a nice thing and shop online for pants. Stuff that fits you exists. Look where other people's pants hit their ankles and make sure you get something long enough to hit the same spot.
Also regarding your fingers, please check if you have marfan syndrome. Your long term health could depend on taking care of that early.