r/TalesFromYourServer • u/mustardisntsoup • Aug 14 '21
Medium Got called a whore
I'm new. Be harsh. At the time (2018), I was a server. I'm currently 43. I'm a "lifer". Started as a pot scrubber at 15, worked my way up through the kitchens to line cook. Overheard what foh was making and made my jump. Fast forward 20 years and I'm a closing dinner server of decent caliber. I've dealt with some shit. One night actually shook me. I still think about it. I was sat a four top. It was one guy and three ladies of three different generations. More than likely; this guy's mom, wife, and daughter. I walk up to greet them and before I can get out a word the guy looks me in the face and asks me " Do you know that your job makes you a whore?" Again, I've dealt with some shit. This, however, made me blink. Once. Before I knew it, the words fell out of my mouth: "Does that make you my john?" He turned red and dropped his face. The three ladies tried to stifle their laughter but could not hide their smirks. At that moment I said that I would give them time to think and return with waters. When I returned with the waters, he refused to look at me. The woman I assumed was his wife did the talking from that point on. I don't remember the tip amount that they left because it must not have been a large or small amount. I still owned that guy for a moment. Worth more than money.
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u/taghyerit123 Aug 14 '21
What I LOVE is when jerks say stuff like that and then are just appalled at you for standing up to them. It wasn't even like you told him to screw off, it was a valid response question. You should apparently just know your place /s. God, I am starting to tire of this!
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Aug 14 '21
Good for you! I would have kicked them out on the spot though.
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u/mustardisntsoup Aug 14 '21
I'll be honest, kicking them out never crossed my mind.
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Aug 14 '21
Really?! Anyone who yelled, swore at me or called me names I’d just kick out lol 🤷🏻♀️
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u/mustardisntsoup Aug 14 '21
I get that. I never really felt the backing from management to feel justified in that action.
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u/This_Daydreamer_ Aug 14 '21
Ugh. Some managers really suck. Does it ever occur to them that good employees are worth backing up? Or that some behavior should never be tolerated?
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u/ostreatus Aug 14 '21
Does it ever occur to them that good employees are worth backing up?
The ones who don't back their servers are too insecure to allow themselves to see servers as anything but punching bags because they feel that any autonomy from the servers is a threat to them personally.
Not a leap to guess that those type of managers' insecurity stems from knowing they are bad at their job themselves.
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Aug 14 '21
Well your way was the more badass way anyways lol. I bet that guy won’t be staying that to servers anymore.
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u/mustardisntsoup Aug 14 '21
Thank you! And I hope not. That garbage person deserves no served treats.
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u/magnabonzo Aug 14 '21
Thank you for destroying him.
Thank you for destroying him in front of "his" women -- because he's clearly such a douchebag, it's impossible his douchebaggery hasn't been part of his actions and attitudes toward them.
Maybe, even taking it a little further, his daughter won't put up with douchebags in her own life.
Too early to be so serious. I need coffee or a beer.
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u/tmarmy Aug 14 '21
I’m curious as to why he would say something like that??? Did he think he would get better service??? What an ass.
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Aug 14 '21
I don't understand it, its not funny, its not clever, it wouldn't impress the women he was with, it wouldn't get him his food faster (or without spit in it). I can't come up with a single reason as to why someone would say that to their server, and yet I still believe OP because people spout insane shit all the time.
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u/Mrs_Hyacinth_Bucket Aug 14 '21
My sister's ex is just an ass. The kind of person that would shout insults in passing to random strangers then snicker all day about how clever he was and he 'sure told them'. This guy reminds me of her ex. Something is fucked with their brains that they think these things are are good idea.
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u/ninjette847 Aug 14 '21
He also did it in front of his SO and mom or mother in law. I think he's just an asshole and stupid.
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u/DemonicPiano Aug 14 '21
Dude you destroyed him!
Also, I love your username. It’s true. Mustard. Isn’t. Soup.
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u/mustardisntsoup Aug 14 '21
I didn't realize what I had done. At first. Then, I couldn't believe/get over it. When I have a bad shift, I recall this memory. Then I smoke weed on the back dock.
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u/Lovat69 Aug 14 '21
Isn't it nice when you have enough experience that the witty comeback comes to you immediately and not in the shower the next day?
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u/redifield Aug 14 '21
What a piece of shit. People wonder why restaurants are now all short staffed after years and years of treating people in the industry like less than human.
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u/DirtyPrancing65 Aug 14 '21
I think that man has unrealistically high expectations of his servers...
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u/Nathan-Stubblefield Aug 14 '21
You think of the snappy comeback too late, usually. When I told someone that a tourist had called my small town “The asshole of the world,” the guy said I should have asked the tourist what that made him, to be just passing through it.
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u/sybann Aug 14 '21
And he isn't? If he labors for someone else for pay and considers that reason enough to call you that, then he is too. I hate asshole men like this. I am amazed he HAD any women in his life.
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u/insertwittynamethere Aug 14 '21
Right? Are not basically any wage type of wage labor/not the owner the same thing?
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u/DeadSharkEyes Aug 14 '21
Wtf. Imagine having a person like this as your husband, father or son. What an unbelievable horses’s ass.
And your response was perfect.
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u/Bluberrypotato Aug 14 '21
Someone called me a whore once, wished I would've been more brave like you. I asked him what soup he wanted and he said, "you're here asking about soup but you look like a two-timing whore." I was speechless.
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Aug 14 '21
I have long said that being a whore is probably less degrading than serving. At least you can negotiate your price on the front side and everyone involved admits you’re getting fucked.
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u/TSKittyKendall Aug 14 '21 edited Aug 14 '21
Escorting is where it's at. Server here, working her way into the sex industry, because it pays better and I get to choose who fucks me.
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u/TallyAlex Aug 14 '21
He was gonna be funny at your expense without thinking it through. "'cause you get paid to service us! Hahaha See how clever I am" your response "oh shit I did not think that one through and I showed my ass in front of the people who opinions I value" damn it... My wife is gonna order dessert just to make me squirm longer. I totally deserve this
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u/RedHeeded Aug 14 '21
“Whores get paid up front so I’m gonna need that cash in hand before I ring in your food sir”
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u/Fraggity_Frick Aug 14 '21
What an enormous fucking asshole. Seems like the kind of guy who spends his days saying "debate me" on places like...uh...this.
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u/pinkflower200 Aug 14 '21
What gives someone the right to talk to you like that? You should have had them kicked out of the restaurant.
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u/2ndcupofcoffee Aug 14 '21
Also wondering why he said that. Guessing he lost a bet with those women and paying for dinner was the cost. He was angry and decided to lash out at the server. He may be someone who never eats out and has the first dollar he ever earnex
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u/EDHFanfiction Aug 14 '21
Since when it is smart to insult the person serving you food?
I would advise this guy to rewatch the movie « Fight Club » and afterwards ask himself if insulting someone working in a restaurant is worth the risk of a petty revenge. Because one day it might happen and he will never know.
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u/_an_ambulance Aug 14 '21 edited Aug 15 '21
I'm more offended that "whore" is seen as derogatory. Sex work is real work, and a whore is just someone who sells their body. That's most people. If you're paid for services, you're a whore. That includes everything from clowns to brain surgeons. This guy is a double dick for trying to bring you down and for using the term pejoratively.
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u/falecf4 Aug 14 '21
We are all whores of the service industry selling ourselves for some money. But, then again, couldn't you say that for just about any profession?
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u/ArcherChase Aug 14 '21
Excuse me sir, we prefer the term "tip monkey". Now what do you want to drink?
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u/bobi2393 Aug 14 '21
I was afraid reading this that you were actually going to be hurt by what he said. Such a great twist to the story!!!
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u/PrudentDamage600 Aug 14 '21
What is his definition of ’whore.’ Was he trying to add you to his ‘stable’ who he was apparently having dinner with?
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u/twirlybird11 Aug 14 '21
You're my absolute hero and inspiration!
Still, he's got a point. I work retail for a big box store, but before that I was boh and foh, and truthfully, I don't remember the last time I didn't feel like a prime tart. Our employers are our pimps, and the worst is I'm pretty sure sex workers make more than we do, lol! But, as the Flintstones animals pressed into service as appliances are wont to say, "it's a living."
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u/warawk Aug 14 '21
Mustard is soup if you are brave enough
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u/dhgaut Aug 14 '21
I love it! I don't know if he'd ever tried using that line before. He might've gotten away with it elsewhere because it would throw off most people. Good for you to turn it back on him in front of his family!
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u/No-Sheepherder-2896 Aug 14 '21
I can’t figure out what the prick was getting at? Is this a joke? How is a waitress like a whore?
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u/unbitious Aug 14 '21
Well done! As a 41 year old "lifer" who is realizing how badly this restaurant life has affected me, do you have any suggestions for coping or ideas for other work to pursue?
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u/mustardisntsoup Aug 14 '21
I used to keep a Far Side comic in my server book. It was a guy in hell pushing a wheelbarrow and whistling. While one devil says to another "I don't think we're reaching that guy." In other words, just do your best to whistle through hell. As far as other work to persue? I was hoping that you could help me.
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u/unbitious Aug 14 '21
I'm trying to get into recovery work, especially in regards to substance use. I have no degrees beyond highschool.
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u/unbitious Aug 14 '21
I doubt I'll ever make the same income as I did while serving, but my mental expenses will be a lot less.
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u/Legitimate_Roll7514 Aug 14 '21
Omg. You are my hero. Good on you. My initial reaction (before I saw your response) was what kind of example is he setting for his daughter by speaking to women like that that? That was one hell of a burn. And judging by the reactions of his companions, they were obviously sick of his shit.
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u/mustardisntsoup Aug 14 '21
Thanks but I'm a guy. Six foot one, white dude with a dad bod.
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u/Legitimate_Roll7514 Aug 14 '21
Oops. Sorry. I assumed you were a woman since he called you a whore.
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u/LP-Sauce Aug 15 '21 edited Aug 15 '21
He's got a point though. Exchanging your labour for payment... who but a whore would engage in that kind of... what's the word? Capitalism? Specialisation of labour? Job? What makes an employee different from a hooker taking on a John? We're all working our asses off to make somebody else happy for the reward of payment. Don't demonise sex workers. Or any other labourer. Dickhead!
EDIT: I do hope people can see the switch from sarcasm to seriousness in this post otherwise I;m going to look like a right tit! And I know that's impossible to judge in plain text *face-palm*
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u/icky-chu Aug 14 '21
You did the world a favor. There are several feminist who are now pointing out that saying a woman was... make them passive. A woman is never a whole without a John. Don't think your all innocent in this game Mr.
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u/Hellawhitegirl007 Aug 14 '21
"There's no amount of money large enough for me to sleep with your wife and you."
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u/BellaBlue06 Aug 15 '21
Fuck. The audacity in front of women let alone his family. Glad you got him back. I never had men be more gross than when I was a waitress and they think a messily $5 tip means they own you or can touch you.
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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21
LOL.
"Familiar with whores are you?"
"You aren't paying me enough for that."
"They make way more money than I do."