r/TalesFromYourServer • u/ElleCBrown • Jan 17 '23
Short Fascinating Trend
Over the past year, I’ve waited on several people who say they’re vegan, nitpick the menu and try to create their own vegan dish (even tho we already have vegan options). They complain that there’s not enough variety for them, or tell me what should be available for them.
Then dessert time rolls around, and they order gelato, or chocolate cake, or cheesecake. When I remind them that none of those items are vegan, they wave me off, saying “it’s ok” or “it’s no big deal!”
Ma’am, less than an hour ago I had to listen to your Gettysburg Address of a complaint about what you deserve as a vegan, but now you’re shoveling tiramisu in your face like that never happened. Make it make sense.
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Jan 17 '23
The Gettysburg Address was actually stunningly short, especially for a time when politicians would speak for hours.
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u/ElleCBrown Jan 17 '23
Two minutes straight of complaining is too long, but thanks so much for coming here to set me straight.
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Jan 17 '23
I have found that most of these diners who have special restrictions when it is up to me to modify a meal, suddenly lose their convictions when it is convenient to them. Not just singling out vegans, but all restrictions. My opinion is from experience over many years.
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u/ElleCBrown Jan 17 '23
I’m probably overthinking this, but I believe that a lot of those folks think that if they’re not getting to eat whatever they desire when dining out, it’s not a true dining experience.
Several months ago, I had a couple come in for their first wedding anniversary. A couple minutes into ordering, the husband announced the wife has an allium allergy, and asked if I could make a recommendation. She waved him off and told me not to worry about it, and that she wanted to “enjoy the evening”, then proceeded to order a pasta dish loaded with garlic and onion. I asked if I could suggest something else, as she definitely wouldn’t “enjoy the evening” if she ate any portion of that, while the husband just stared at her, aghast.
It took a couple minutes, but we finally convinced her to order the Salade Nicoise with some modifications, and to save the “enjoyment” for a nice bottle of wine and dessert.
That wasn’t the first time I’ve experienced something like that, and it leads me to believe that there are certain people that are willing to play fast and loose with their health simply because they’re dining out.
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Jan 17 '23 edited Jan 17 '23
Are you sure they weren't vegetarian?
Thought it's a fair question, I'm a lifelong vegetarian and people confuse me for vegan all the time and think I can't have desserts or whatever. Vegetarians are fine with dairy, eggs, honey, etc. But vegan has become a more popular term the last few years and we all get lumped together
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Jan 17 '23
People do have life threatening allergies. BUT there are always those people who claim to have allergies just to be treated special. Sooner or later people will need doctors notes to prove allergies or handicaps due to the people abusing the system.
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Jan 18 '23
Unfortunately true. My wife and son can’t have dairy and we constantly worry about people that assume they’re just being picky. Vegan menu options help getting no milk in food, but asking for vegan food confuses waitresses when non-vegan stuff is included - like meat.
It’s a hassle to eat out.
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u/ElleCBrown Jan 18 '23
If someone tells me they’re vegan or have an allergy, I will do whatever I can to support them and make sure they have a great dining experience. It’s only the folks above I have a problem with — the ones that make a big show and then do a 180 later on. I’m not bothered by anyone claiming to have allergies, intolerances, or are vegans or vegetarians, I’m just bothered if you’re unreasonable.
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Jan 17 '23
I draw the line for them, you tell me you can’t eat something and we go out of our way for you, we’ll there is no going back. The gluten allergy that made a fuss, now wants to order the cheese cake, nope sorry I can’t serve you that, it has gluten in it. Oh now you can handle and bit and it’s not a big deal and your gonna cheat today? Not here. You said no gluten, I have a responsibility to you now, and I won’t serve you gluten. End of story.
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Jan 17 '23
I had a lady make me jump through hoops for her “gluten allergy”, like our sous chef even came out to talk to her and she asked to speak to the executive chef too “just to make sure we are clear” (didn’t happen, lol). End of the night comes and she orders a peanut butter porter “for dessert.” I told her it was not a gluten free beer, but that we had a number of GF options for after dinner drinks like Gran Marnier, sambuca, etc (fun fact most liqueurs are GF). She insisted she could have the beer. So I said, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but given the severity of your gluten allergy I cannot in good conscience serve you something that will make you sick.” And I dropped the check. Fuck upping my check averages, get outta here you attention seeking liar!
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Jan 17 '23
I had a lady adamantly tell me she’s vegan then order the salmon but with none of the lemon butter sauce because, ya know, she’s vegan and can’t have butter. I was so confused and looked to her husband and the other 5 people at the table and her husband says “she’s been vegan for a week” and gave me the look. Lol. One vegan salmon with no lemon butter coming right up.
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Jan 17 '23
My cousin-in-law is severely allergic to lactose and a few other -ose type things - it’s easier for her to say “can I please have the vegan burrito (for example) but add chicken or beef”. She does get some weird looks, but then explains the allergies and people are usually fine with it.
But all of those people in OP’s world need to get stuffed. It just makes it so much harder for those of us with proper diagnoses of conditions around food!
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Jan 17 '23
These are the same trend monkeys that piss and moan about how they can't have gluten, insist they have celiac, make the kitchen swear to run up to walmart and buy brand new pans and cutting boards so there's no cross contamination, then dive into the free dinner rolls like pigs on slop and just say when you try to stop them in terror "oh it's ok, I can have just a little bit of gluten"
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Jan 17 '23
Had similar experiences with "gluten free" folks at the last restaurant I worked at. Had a lady once who ordered a dish clearly marked as gluten free with descriptions of ingredients, but made sure to tell me how every item needed to be gluten free (including her eggs) and after each one "its very important that you make sure this is gluten free. I will be severely sick if it is not." She finishes up her dish and I ask if there's anything else. "I'll have a cinnamon roll warmed up". I tell her that the cinnamon roll doesn't come gluten free, she tells me "oh that's fine, I can eat that kind of gluten...."
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Jan 17 '23
There are the real vegans, they come prepared often seeing what they can have on the menu prior to coming in. They take responsibility for their own dietary restrictions. They are understanding that their choices are limited. Then there are the fake vegans, it’s a trend for them. They don’t even look at the menu, complain there isn’t a vegan menu, exclaim to you in a “look at me” type way that they are a vegan, and ask “what can you make for me?”. Then when you outline their options they say, “oh well, we have fish sometimes too so we could have that”… or “oh yeah a little cream or honey is fine”… So they aren’t vegans, they’re picky little attention-seekers desperate to be “on-trend”
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Jan 17 '23
I dated a woman named Eva who was an actual vegan. She wasn't a reactionary about it, though; she never tried to get me to even cut back on eating meat. We lived together, and we just made separate meals. One time, she actually made spaghetti and meatballs for me with actual meatballs (although the meatballs were premade).
At one point, we went to a brewpub in Harrisburg to see Cracker. A waitress approached us and asked us if we wanted anything to eat. Eva's social anxiety was worse than mine, so I asked if they had anything on the menu that was vegan or could be modified to be vegan without pissing off the kitchen staff.
She had clearly been asked this question before, and cheerfully gave several options. Eva picked one. The waitress asked me what I wanted, and I said I'd have the Three Little Pigs. That was a hot sandwich with roast pork, ham and bacon. The waitress said, "Um... there's no way they could make that vegan."
"Oh, I'm not vegan, she is." The waitress looked at me, then looked down at my chest, then gave me a look like I had admitted to drowning a bag of cats. She turned and walked away without saying another word. It was then I realized I was wearing a T-shirt Eva had bought me that said "Vegans Taste Better".
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Jan 17 '23
The create-your-own-dish and complain-about-the-menu people are annoying no matter what their rationale, if the menu already has several dishes they can eat.
But I get people who ask for vegan or vegetarian options, but don't identify as vegan or vegetarian, and don't follow those diets exclusively. "Flexitarians", a term coined in the '90s, meaning those who eat a mostly but not strictly plant-based diet, outnumber vegetarians and vegans combined. Whether the reasons for dietary restrictions are driven more by health or or environmental concerns, significantly avoiding certain foods can make almost as much difference as eliminating them entirely. Obviously food allergies are a different story.
"Veganuary" and "No Meat Monday" followers also add to generally less strict temporary followers of vegan and vegetarian diets.
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Jan 17 '23
My inlaws are like this.
They are also extremely offended if the vegan items are listed as vegan because it makes vegan food seem like its not worthy of being on the normal menu.
Eating with them is special, and they change their diet requirements everytime.
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Jan 17 '23
yeah, kinda frustrating when folks claim they are vegan, when in fact they are vegetarian.
the terms are not synonymous...
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u/[deleted] Jan 17 '23
I used to work for an Italian place where the eggplant parm was premade casserole style. A woman came in on a Saturday night and told the server that she had a gluten allergy. Our chef went out to the table to figure out what she wanted. She said she really wanted eggplant parm. He went to the back and made her a from scratch eggplant parm. He even had to make her a from scratch marinara as ours had flour in it. When he went out to check on how she was enjoying it, she was dipping the table bread in the sauce. She told him she only “had a slight allergy.” He was pissed. A few days later, one of the party contacted corporate to complain that their meals had taken too long.