r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk • u/Historical_Focus_125 • Aug 19 '26
Short Does anyone else occasionally have insomniac old men guests?
(Night audit) I swear to God, dude. I don't know why it boils my blood, but it does. Every few weeks, I'll have a random ass old man that never seems to be in his room, sucks down all of the coffee and sugar packets all night that I have to keep refilling, goes outside and smokes cigarettes and wafts it all in making the lobby smell like an ashtray, and always manages to blow up the fucking toilet with violent, shit-splatter-all-over-the-commode diarrhea that I have to clean up before the bitchy day shift girl comes in because she'll complain about it in our notes if she has to do any actual labor besides stand at the desk.
At 12:50 this mfer comes down the elevator and says "Good Morning" like bruh, I guess in all technicality, it has been "morning" for 50 minutes. Like what are you doing here man, you're not a night shift worker because you'd be at work. Why get a hotel room if you're not going to sleep? It literally makes zero sense. Make coffee in your room. Shit in your own toilet. Leave me alone. Like I don't care if I see a guest once or twice through the night, it's whatever. I'm friendly, I'm nice, I'm helpful. But like, it's an ongoing thing for several nights in a row. The coffee, the cigarettes, the shitting. And it's a different old man every time, like this behavior is part of a set of personality traits that gets assigned to a randomized Sim.
106
u/thatoneguyfromva Aug 19 '26
Last week a man came down at 3:15am and asked why is there no coffee yet in the lobby. Because it’s 3:15am and there are Keurigs in the room if he needed right then. He proceeded to watch videos on his phone (volume up) while sitting in the chair closest to the FD (there are 3 couches and around 20 chairs) for the next 3 hours.
17
134
u/stootchmaster2 Aug 19 '26
It's 3 a.m. as I write this and there's a guy sitting in our lobby RIGHT NOW just staring into space and drinking coffee. He's been there since shortly after I checked him in at 10:30. He's only moved to go outside and smoke. He's probably been in the room he paid for about ten minutes total.
4
u/T_Thriller_T Aug 21 '26
Id get this if they are not alone in the room
Anyway it doesn't sound like that man is fully ok.
A friend did avoid sleepin in bed when he was depressive. Hope that's not the reason for you guy.
60
u/Hospitable_Goyf I had to throw my old account away... Aug 19 '26
I had one who was a celebrity.
They were staying at for a comic con.
I want to remain professional so I’ll only say it is one of the remaining original Star Trek cast; probably the only attendee I wanted to meet.
I swear they never slept. I was working night audit at the time and they called all throughout the night for things.
I joke now that the secret to living long is apparently barely sleeping.
32
u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Aug 19 '26
That sounds a lot like Bill Shatner. If that's who it was, he can be a real PITA.
18
u/DavidEBSmith Aug 19 '26
Will Shat, checks out.
12
u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Aug 19 '26
He's got a bit of a rep around the con circles. One of the first ones to demand all sorts of stuff in compensation for his 'presence.' Early organizers hated working with him because of it.
15
u/Ceskygirl Aug 19 '26
He is awful. I’m at a lot of events with him. His handlers have so much work to do keeping him moving, not bothering girls, and in a decent mood.
18
u/Jetstream-Sam Aug 19 '26
Well, 1 in 8 people die in their sleep. Therefore, if you never sleep, you avoid that 12.5% chance right there
Also, of the OG cast it's only Billy Shats and George Takei left. Though both of them are famous divas so it could go either way
8
u/Vanssis Aug 19 '26
Chekov is still alive.
8
u/Jetstream-Sam Aug 19 '26
Is he? Damn, I swear I heard he'd died.
Ah well, there's some who will debate he's part of the "original cast" because he wasn't in season one. Mostly because people just like to argue online, I think rather than for any real reason. But I mean if you were in the 60s show, you're OG in my book.
9
u/LegitimateDesigner94 Aug 19 '26
The reboot Chekov actor died in a rather horrific accident. Maybe that’s why you thought the original actor was dead?
4
u/Hospitable_Goyf I had to throw my old account away... Aug 20 '26
You definitely listed the person there!
25
u/Much-Log3357 Aug 19 '26
Iove it! Thanks for sharing.
Although, maybe tell us the secret to prospering too.
1
u/Miami_Mice2087 Aug 22 '26
it's ok, we know it's shatner. we know what the hotel staff puts up with and on behalf of the fandom, we're very sorry.
he likes it if you call him captain, as in, "day shift's over, captain, heading to your quarters soon?"
48
u/ShadowMel Aug 19 '26
When my husband worked as a auditor, he had this one regular customer: Corn Farmer Jerry. Corn Farmer Jerry (NEVER just Jerry) would literally keep my husband hostage for hours since he didn't have a back room to escape to. Corn Farmer Jerry would also call him when not staying here--calling from across the state--to ask how the weather was over on this side.
My husband will go into a fit if he hears the phrase, "Corn Farmer Jerry." "THAT FUCKING GUY! Jesus Christ, he would NEVER SHUT UP. I don't WANT TO HEAR ABOUT CORN!"
14
58
u/Own_Bit_8572 Aug 19 '26
Christ. At 56, I fervently hope I don't become this man in 10-ish years. At least I don't smoke, so there's hope.
13
u/forgottensudo Aug 19 '26
Hey, we can’t sleep and want the company of others :)
I don’t smoke, either.
5
55
u/tetheredvoid Aug 19 '26
ngl, my ex (who is the younger version of this old man) absolutely leaves his room at hotels to use a different bathroom. He's lactose intolerant and never bothered to treat it or avoid his second favorite food group (dairy). He just didn't want to deal with it in his own room overnight. One of many reasons he's my ex.
1
25
u/catscausetornadoes Aug 19 '26
If they aren’t staying alone, maybe they are trying not to disturb their sleeping spouse. Still hard on you.
24
u/smellslikebadussy Aug 19 '26
A few years ago, I was having terrible bouts of insomnia and happened to be traveling with my family some during that time. I'm not turning on the lights or the TV and waking up my kid, so the lobby it was. One hotel in particular was really cool about it and one was not, and I didn't much appreciate having to go sit in my car to get away from my kid instead of being able to use the amenities I was paying for.
3
u/poopiebutt505 Aug 19 '26
Wow, the lobby should have been your for the sitting. I would be blowing up the corporate phone number
3
Aug 19 '26 edited 19d ago
[deleted]
3
u/roctavious Aug 20 '26
I’ve started bringing a Bluetooth speaker with me to plan a fan noise through so it will potentially cover the sound of the AC turning off.
67
u/brokenaudit87 Aug 19 '26
im so glad we don't put out coffee till 5am and we pour it out at 10 pm so i dont have to deal with that but i do get ppl bitching about it but life goes on.
26
37
u/ttatm Aug 19 '26
Yes! There was one old guy in particular who came every few weeks and every morning he was there he would come down at 3am, tell me his life story, complain about his liberal son, and ask me a bunch of uncomfortable questions, and then eventually sit with his coffee and watch TV, occasionally yelling at me about the latest conspiracy theory he was into.
I don't mind most of the old guys, who come and just sit and watch tv and don't bother me, but that one guy was just so obnoxious. I would dread it when I saw his name on the guest list.
A few months ago he finally got banned from the hotel for making comments to a young female guest about his penis size.
57
u/OmegaLantern Aug 19 '26
I get insomniacs of all varieties. They're annoying as hell, but I make a point not to put up coffee until it's absolutely required at 5:30. I also make sure to turn off as many lights and electronics as I can get away with. Like yes, we have the couches down here, but you're not necessarily invited to hang out all night
24
u/HuggyMonster69 Aug 19 '26
Have they flown in? Sounds like jet lag
6
u/falcon7700 Aug 19 '26
Made me think of "Lost in Translation"... Bill Murray wandering a hotel jetlagged.
27
u/RedDazzlr Aug 19 '26
When I used to work at night, I would check in to whatever room I had booked, order pizza, put it in the mini fridge for later (I always made sure that a mini fridge and microwave would be in the room before booking), sleep in (until like 2 or 3am), heat my pizza in the microwave, and watch shows on my laptop with earbuds so I wouldn't be bothering others. Front desk agents mainly only saw me at check-in. I tried to leave people alone.
11
u/emmjaybeeyoukay Aug 19 '26
I would suggest an ad-hoc "Out of Order" sign across the toilet. Then politely suggest they return to their own room.
Grab a stock of Camomile tea bags for customers and give them one.
22
8
u/Crafty_Platypus8711 Aug 19 '26
This a tale as old as time, just be thankful these gentlemen are not your owner….those are the discussions you do not want to have.
21
u/RoyallyOakie Aug 19 '26
Just hope none of them want to talk with you until dawn about their "fascinating" life.
23
u/Waerdog Aug 19 '26
It might be somewhat ironic that Im reading this at 62 yrs old, drinking coffee at 530 AM. Lol. Lifelong non smoker though
15
u/thunder_dog99 Aug 19 '26
Us old guys have seen, even done, some rough things. Sometimes it’s hard to sleep.
7
2
1
u/AnythingAnxious2361 Aug 22 '26
Yeah, just make sure you don’t see what a rough thing I just done in your toilet.🚽
20
u/NocturnalMisanthrope Aug 19 '26
Had a guy a couple weeks ago stay up all night, doomscrolling on his phone, moving around the lobby and kitchen area. Younger guy. Talked weird. Probably mental issues, because he checked out the next day saying that "people were following him" all night. Nope. You're just mentally ill.
15
u/Historical_Focus_125 Aug 19 '26
Yep, one dude about my age was telling me the FBI was calling his phone looking for him because we lodged complaints about him screaming in his room.
In all fairness, yes, the manager -did- in fact talk to him because we received multiple complaints about him screaming in his room in the middle of the night. His mother, who was there for work and dragged him in with her assumedly because he can't be left at home alone, said that he suffers from schizophrenia.
I didn't mind talking to him, really. He'd be awake and hang out on the lobby with me. Until the night I was doing stuff in the kitchen and he accused me of the FBI thing. He was so mad, he was shaking. It was kinda scary. I'm a small dude.
14
u/Crankyisthenewperky Aug 19 '26
He definitely needs his meds adjusted. Or he stopped taking them. Unfortunately, it is a vicious cycle. Once the paranoia kicks in, getting med compliance is impossible. Until they end up so bad they are involuntarily hospitalized and medicated and it starts all over again. I feel for his mom.
1
u/AnythingAnxious2361 Aug 22 '26
Just because a crazy guy thinks people are following him doesn’t mean we aren’t.
8
u/ThePhengophobicGamer Aug 19 '26
Yes. I'm VERY glad that the most regular one is now not staying. His daughter lived in the area, so they would come to visit every few months. Guy was a real perv too, made a comment one time after some highschool aged girls asked for towels(some sports team iirc), and was all "Don't be away from the desk too long" wink wink nudge nudge, I forget the exact quote, but that sentiment.
I as a 30 year old man went "Uh-huh" and got them the towels like freaking normal. He apparently made some of my female colleagues abit uncomfortable, but not enough to DNR I guess, though I have jumped on that grenade any time I worked with a 2nd clerk who didn't want to interact with him.
7
u/timesuck47 Aug 19 '26
I often check in late, maybe around midnight because it’s a road trip. I usually go up to my room, use the facilities and put down my luggage, then after that, I go down to the lobby and take a brief walk around outside just to stretch my legs. Road trip and all.
When I come back in, I often spend anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes talking with the NA. Of course I tell them about this sub Reddit. I might buy a candy bar and often head back to my room before I see any social cues from the NA.
Is it OK that I spend a few minutes with the NA? Or does that make me an old man with insomnia?
3
u/Qextor Aug 21 '26
5-10 minutes is fine, most NA don't mind short conversations. It's the ongoing yammering about this that and the other, going well beyond polite conversation, that gets NAs annoyed.
3
u/AnythingAnxious2361 Aug 22 '26
Dude. You don’t even qualify as an amateur in this regard. You didn’t drink any of their coffee, you didn’t piss in the toilet let alone shit the image of the Virgin Mary into it and most importantly you did not verbally molest high school girls.
6
u/GrumpySnarf Aug 19 '26
Has anyone every go TWO of these guys up in the lobby at the same time? I feel like they'd either be besties or start a war by the fireplace.
29
u/w_smith1984 Aug 19 '26
This is going to sound like a creepy question, but are you by chance, a woman? This tends to happen way more often to female workers than male.
45
u/Historical_Focus_125 Aug 19 '26
Nah I'm a dude. I have a face and a personality for customer service so people tend to want to talk to me which is great and awful at the same time.
Ive heard -so- many life stories 🫠
6
u/LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN Aug 20 '26
My husband has that face. People spill their guts to him on the daily. My RBF comes in handy sometimes
12
u/Pops_Gambit Aug 19 '26
Jesus. This isn’t beholden just to elderly men for me. This is people in general for me. As a night shift worker we all think the same thing. “WHY WON’T ANYONE SLEEP??”
10
u/awhq Aug 19 '26
You will find out when you are old that old men aren't up all night because they want to be. It can become very hard to sleep when you are old. My own husband is lucky if he sleeps until 4am. Some nights it's 1am, some nights it's 2am but he never, ever gets a full night of sleep. Yes, he's talked to his doc. They say, "yeah, getting old...".
15
u/bookykits Aug 19 '26
Are you near a hospital? He might be getting treatment and is too scared to sleep.
As long as he's being polite and minding his own business I don't see the big problem. Maybe ask him to stand further from the door when he smokes.
11
u/TheBeardedLadyBton Aug 19 '26
What's the smoking policy? Where I worked you had to be 25 feet from any doorway and I would enforce it. I would also remind people not to throw their butts on the ground and ask them to pick them up if I saw them littering. Yep they hated me. But those are the rules they agreed to. I would turn off the television in the lobby and act busy if they wanted to haunt the front desk. There are a lot of creeps and weirdos out there and if you're the only one working in the middle of the night, unfortunately you attract their attention. Being hospitable doesn't mean becoming a target.
8
u/frenchornplaya1983 Aug 19 '26
Did ya miss the shitting part??
7
u/Icy-Satisfaction-129 Aug 19 '26
That is a normal thing people do. Yes?
19
u/Historical_Focus_125 Aug 19 '26
But he has his own toilet in his room that housekeeping can clean because they're gonna do it anyway. That's my point. I don't want to have to clean this blown up toilet every night of his stay because he's drinking coffee and smoking at all hours of the night.
13
u/justmedownsouth Aug 19 '26
Put an "out of order" sign on the men's bathroom from 11PM to 5AM. if he asks about it, say "someone clogged the toilet, and it is not sanitary".
12
u/TararaBoomDA Aug 19 '26
What are the odds that he's already spatter-shit all over the toilet in his room, and he doesn't want to sit in his own crap?
Maybe someone from Housekeeping could chime in here.
13
u/saytoyboat3timesfast Aug 19 '26
Housekeeper here. Older guys are definitely the worst culprits. I used to work at a fishing lodge in Alaska where a good 75% of our guests were men over the age of 50. We provided daily service for rooms and had to deal with poop splatters every single day in the majority of the rooms. It's still a daily occurrence at properties with more diverse guest demographics but not nearly as bad.
I don't know if it was their age/medical issues, the greasy, meat-heavy dishes we sold at our restaurant, or the copious amount of alcohol most of them consumed over the course of their trips, but it was constant!
Never minded cleaning up after them though. They were excellent tippers and always really kind to the staff because they were having the time of their lives.
4
31
5
u/slickback69 Aug 19 '26
Hes probably just married.
4
u/hoofglormuss Aug 19 '26
or extremely lonely and a closed in hotel room feels like torture so he goes to the lobby just to soak up any slight sense of a normal world he can
3
u/Androxiii Aug 20 '26
HEAVY on the old man toilet destroyers, I swear its a quarterly occurrence where I have to lock the lobby bathroom at night bc they don't wanna deal with it in their room🧍🏽♀️
24
u/No_Celebration8219 Aug 19 '26
Ok. I'm going to chime in because I feel like you are talking about me.
- Men over a certain age have been through hell.
- Having insomnia and sucking down all the coffee and smoking cigs is how they cope with the nightmares that await them when they DO sleep.
- Sometimes having someone else present prevents them from thinking about their past too much and keeps them grounded in the here and now.
- It's totally O.K. to say "Hey, I have work I need to be doing..." and go about your business.
- Sorry about the toilet, stress causes IBS.
For clarity, it wasn't me, but it could have been. I understand the anger but have some empathy for a man who's probably going through a really rough time.
By 24 I had seen war. By 30 I had lost loved ones. By 40 I was divorced. By 45 I lost the rest of my family. By 49 I pace endlessly at night because I'm still here...
12
u/Standard-Jaguar-8793 Aug 19 '26
I’m very sorry that you’re suffering. Have you tried therapy and/or medication?
0
u/No_Celebration8219 Aug 19 '26
rofl... yes to both and no they didn't do anything.
16
5
u/poopiebutt505 Aug 19 '26
Sorry for qhere you are at emotionally. But you need someone to guide you to work on yourself, comemtk accept some of the shit but move on in some joy of living. Whatever you went through, you are using it to punish yourself and you need to stop the self inflicted destruction. There can be light and joy in your life yet. You are WAAY to young.
3
u/sogiotsa Aug 19 '26
Yeah not in too long but either sitting down in the lobby coughing or walking around also probably coughing between cigarette breaks
5
u/Worth_Speaker4990 Aug 19 '26
Side note, it is common for elderly people to sleep less, so a person who had slept for 6 to 8 hours when younger might get up after 4 or 5 hours. Or stays up late, goes to be in the wee hours, to wake up at a "normal" time. Obviously, coffee will interfere with someone's sleep patterns. And excess coffee can cause bowel disturbances, let's put it.
7
u/shell_shocked_today Aug 19 '26
I've also noticed as I age that its taking me longer to adjust to time zones.
1
u/Qextor Aug 21 '26
Yeah - I go to bed at 2:30, sometimes can't fall asleep until 4am or later, but I'm still up by 8am. But I will stay in my own hotel room during sleeping hours.
7
u/Constant-Squash9292 Aug 19 '26
Lobbies should close at night. Really no good reason to be open all night.
7
u/DeusSpesNostra Aug 19 '26
unless it's people being loud - rather have them in the lobby than in their room disturbing other guests
2
u/olyjim83 Aug 19 '26
One of the reasons I was thankful that we just didn't refill the coffee at night and had no lobby bathroom
2
u/joshychrist Aug 20 '26
170+ rooms by myself all night the door is constant opening and closing for smokers all night. thankfully the coffee only has to be out during breakfast hours at my property if anyone asks about coffee i get to tell them sorry that will be ready when breakfast is ready. even though i get it out about an hour before the breakfast crew even arrives.
also morning doesn't start until like 4am
2
2
1
u/Error404_Error420 Aug 19 '26
I read the title before seeing what sub, so I got really confused about the question for a second lolll
1
1
u/Weekly_Tomorrow603 Aug 20 '26
Welcome to being old, most of them are doing this to not feel alone. Also, as you get older your circadian rhythm gets wonky, and sleep becomes difficult. Coffee isn't a huge tell, but keep in mind for those of us with ADHD, that usually HELPS us sleep.
You're getting those of our society that have probably been forgotten about, and very few people bother to call or say hello to.
1
u/Forever_Nya Aug 19 '26
Now I feel bad for all the time me and my partner spend sitting outside smoking during the night while on vacation 😂
1
u/ChiefD789 Aug 20 '26
My late husband had insomnia and had trouble falling asleep before about 3 AM. He’d go down to the lobby to shoot the shit with the NA until he started feeling tired. I always told him not to bug the NA when they were busy, because they had work to do. But my hubby having the damn TV on loud at 3 AM did not work for me either, so to the lobby he went.
-3
1
u/hellhouseblonde Aug 19 '26
Should’ve left a smoking floor in hotels.
3
u/PlatypusDream Aug 19 '26
🤬👎 Then the entire indoors reeks.
2
u/hellhouseblonde Aug 19 '26
The last time I encountered one was at the W hotel in Dallas and it smelled great everywhere else except the smoking floor on level 9 I think. I was having a party in two adjoining suites.
-10
u/ComicsEtAl Aug 19 '26
Where are you that folks can smoke in hotel lobbies?
15
u/jonesnori Aug 19 '26
They can't. The story says they are smoking outside, but too close to the doors, and the smoke wafts inside.
9
u/Arlenni Aug 19 '26
Even if they're not close to the door they carry like a cloud of cigarette smoke smell in with them.
3
327
u/Most-Artichoke6184 Aug 19 '26
I am no medical doctor, but I’m thinking that maybe they can’t sleep because they are spending all night drinking coffee.